


Revery of Madness

by TardisGhost



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Eleventh Doctor Era, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Headcanon, Insanity, Mystery, River slaps the Master, Roka too, Romance, Sexual Tension, Smut, Telepathy, Tenth Doctor Era, The Master Has Issues, dark themes, occasionally very dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 86,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22641493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisGhost/pseuds/TardisGhost
Summary: Roka was invisible to everyone until the Master took her life and made her real. She decides to run with him and leave the Doctor and Amy behind. But time gets scrambled, the past starts to repeat and old bonds strengthen, as they have to face enemies that try to separate and destroy them for good.
Relationships: The Master (Simm)/Original Character, The Master/Original Character
Comments: 41
Kudos: 41





	1. Prologue

[>> Full image here <<](https://www.deviantart.com/tardisghost/art/Let-me-feel-time-Redraw-Doctor-Who-Master-OC-829897109)

**Act** 𐐅 **\- Prologue**

Memories and fading dreams. Reality?  
Are you awake?

* * *

_"You endured travelling with the Doctor only to make Roka smile again?"_

_A smug smirk is tugging at the corner of the Master's mouth, his eyes flash towards Amy, his arms folding in front of his chest. "Who do you think I am, matchstick?" he sneers, "Of course there was more behind it."_

ȯ̶͕Ö̴͓ò̶̡~̸͘͜\̶̅ͅ ̶͎̃~̸̖͛ ̷̮́\̷̯̈́ ̶̥̏~̸͔͝ ̸̡̄\̸͊ͅ ̸̪͝~̵̳̅ ̸̗͝\̷͓̔ ̶̖̈́~̷̦̔ ̸̪͠\̵̳̾ ̷̫̃~̷̭̐ ̷̱̈́\̸̳̊ ̷̣̒~̷̺̃ ̴̙͗\̶͕̎ ̶̌͜ ̷͈͛ ̷͇͠O̴̞͌n̴̡͋ȩ̴̀ ̵̻̿ ̸̯̉ ̴͓̽~̴̗͊ ̶̼̓\̵̧̅ ̷̀͜~̷̜̎ ̸̣̉\̶͇̊ ̴̜̉~̸̣̄ ̴̃͜\̶͎̇ ̴̣̚ ̸̞̈́\̶̠͗ ̷͕͐~̸̗͆ ̵̜͛\̸͕̉ ̶̬̈́~̵͇̎ ̵̻̂\̵͓̈́ ̸̭̈́~̴̹͒ ̴̿ͅ\̶̨̛ ̴̼͗~̴͍͠o̵̩̓O̵̠͝ò̴̰

_"No one could perceive my existence, no one could keep me in their memory for long. Except for the Master." Roka casts her eyes to the stars, the glimmering lights above their heads she knows he loves so much. "I was a glitch in reality, an impossibility. Until he took my life."_

ö̴̘́O̷̤̓ȯ̷͓~̸̻̆\̴̳͝ ̷͕̄~̸̼͆ ̷̕ͅ\̴̚ͅ ̸̃ͅ~̶̙͠ ̷͕̅\̷͍̀ ̸͚̐~̵͚̈ ̶̤͐\̴̞͑ ̸̹̓~̵̺̚ ̸̖͋\̸̪͘ ̸̹̎~̷͚̈ ̵̮͝\̶̟͂ ̸͕̉~̸̮̒ ̴̖͋\̸̺̔ ̶̯̀ ̵͍̎ ̴̟̓T̸̩̒w̵̠͘o̴͚͂ ̷̼̍ ̷̰̿ ̵̤̕~̸̮̂ ̴͓͑\̸̼͋ ̶̟́~̸̢́ ̸̯̒\̶̻̌ ̶́ͅ~̶͉̾ ̵̩̆\̵͙̋ ̶̪͝ ̴̄ͅ\̶̪̕ ̴̯̍~̶̮̑ ̵̦̽\̸̡̄ ̷̧͗~̷͈͋ ̵̛̜\̴̥̈́ ̵͎̄~̸͕̾ ̶̝͝\̴̘̑ ̶͚̚~̶͇̈́o̵̙̔O̴͚̿o̷̯̒

_He pushes her against the console, the heated kiss stealing her breath, his hands trailing down her sides, grabbing her hip to draw her closer to him. They have all the time in the universe, but are still so impatient. And he enjoys to watch Roka's pupils getting wider as his fingers slip under the cloth of her jumper, how her breath hitches only because he so much as looks at her._

_Roka can't help it. She knows she should be running from him, knows the Master often has no control over himself, knows he might end up seriously hurting her, one day. It doesn't matter. Her hands drive into his almost white hair, her mind mesmerized by his hazel eyes. She lost him once, to the time lock, to the drums in his mind. Both are nothing but a dream now. A nightmare she had endured for over a century._

o̴̢̕O̷̹͝o̸̗̐~̷̯͌\̴̭̐ ̵̼̒~̸̤͗ ̶͚́\̶͕͌ ̸̖̀~̷͓̐ ̶̙̒\̶̮͌ ̴̜̒~̵̬͐ ̴͙̋\̸̡̃ ̶͛͜~̴͈͊ ̴͕̄\̷̞̆ ̵̤͊~̸͙̔ ̷̯͝\̸̳͝ ̴̦̅~̸͖͑ ̴̖̀\̴̪͑ ̷̤͂ ̵̯̃ ̴͔͑Ṭ̸̌h̴̠̾r̵̹͌e̷̹͝ē̸̩ ̴̰̄ ̵̯̒ ̵͕̍~̴̹̐ ̶͙͗\̵͈͛ ̶̜͒~̷̱̓ ̴̪́\̷̢̃ ̷̦͗~̶̜̓ ̴̻̋\̵͓͊ ̶͕̃ ̸̮͝\̴̜̀ ̷̠̆~̶̣̔ ̶̧͊\̷̝́ ̵̻̈́~̷̘̅ ̵̣̊\̸̪͊ ̶͂ͅ~̶̦̆ ̶͇̈́\̴͖́ ̸̗͛~̷̫̒ȍ̸̬Ỏ̷͕ǒ̶̥

_"I saw my father die when I was only a child. I watched my brother growing up and he never went missing! How can he be gone before I even left him?"_

_It's clear the Doctor has no answer. Roka can see it in his sad, clueless eyes. It's not him, but the Master, who finally speaks up._

_"You traveled time for too long. It ripped you out of your own timeline. This past is not yours anymore, nor will it ever be again."_

o̵͇̾O̷̥̍o̶̜̓~̴̣͐\̷̪̈́ ̸͇͘~̶̫͆ ̵̺̾\̵̢̅ ̸̰́~̷̺͗ ̴̰̅\̷̨̌ ̴̫̒~̵͉̈ ̸̛̙\̷̥̽ ̵͛͜~̵̗̋ ̷̗̎\̷̨͒ ̸͑ͅ~̶̲̽ ̴̦͠\̵̧̅ ̸̟̿~̷͇̌ ̶̥͝\̷̨̈́ ̵̰̏ ̵̹͑ ̴̬̀F̸̮͆ö̶͍́u̸̮̓r̴͔̈́ ̷̪̓ ̴̈́ͅ ̵̳̅~̴̤̾ ̸̭͝\̸̘̀ ̸̢̈~̵̮̒ ̷͚͐\̴̥̽ ̵̈͜~̵͎͠ ̴̰͂\̸̫̌ ̴̡͊ ̸̰̀\̶̱͑ ̶̩͊~̷͇̊ ̶̤̊\̸̗̄ ̶̘̅~̴̧͝ ̵̯͂\̶͕̐ ̵̲͊~̸̠͛ ̷̝͝\̴͉͑ ̷̯̀~̷̜̊o̶̯̒O̸͉͋o̷̩̎

_All he can do is laugh, loud and with more than only a hint of all consuming madness. "Oh, Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. You understand nothing!" The Master cackles and grabs the other one's collar. "Once, and only once did I take a life to do_ good _." A mad grin splits his lips. It's too late. It always has been. "Look at what it did to me!"_

o̶O̴o̸~̶\̷ ̴~̷ ̸\̸ ̵1̴ ̵\̵ ̶~̸ ̵\̷ ̷~̶ ̶\̴ ̷2̵ ̵\̴ ̴~̶ ̷\̴ ̴ ̴~̴ ̴\̵ ̷3̸ ̶\̵ ̸~̵ ̸\̴ ̵~̴ ̷\̸ ̸4̵ ̸\̵ ̸~̴ ̴\̴ ̶~̸ ̵\̶ ̵~̷o̴O̶o̵

_"Let's travel the stars together, little crow," the Master offers with a warm smile, a hand stretched out to Roka. "Just you and me? No rules, no morals. We'll find your brother, promise." The smile grows wider, almost wicket. "What do you say?"_

_Roka says nothing._

_She only takes his hand and grins back._


	2. I - Running together

**Act** **I - Running together**

_In which the Master has too many secrets and Roka starts to accept her choices._

* * *

.

"Follow me," the boy whispered and swiftly ran into a nearby alleyway.

Roka spun around, only able to catch a glimpse at his vanishing small back. He wore the dirty, ragged clothes of an urchin. Judging by his size, probably not older than ten. In case he was of human origin, that is.

"Did the brat steal something from you?" the Master asked with a taunting undertone. "You really should start remembering that you're visible now."

"No, he didn't," she grumbled back. "Just reminded me of Venice."

There had been a similar situation, and when she had followed the child, back then, he had long vanished. It hadn't even been a trap.

Right now they weren't on earth. This was a planet that was inhabited by human colonists, but also a few other species. Some humanoid, some not so much. Neither Roka, nor the Master knew what they were actually looking for exactly, here, so all there was to do, was to look around and hope to get a clue.

Before Roka had left the Doctor, he had given her a chip that contained all data he could retrieve from the traces around Roka's childhood home. They had found out there were literally countless of points all over time and space that seemed unconnected, but wore all the same signature. Together with the Master they had narrowed it down to the first appearance this entity had made at where those points clustered together. And now they jumped from point to point, hoping to find whoever was behind all of it, and who had kidnapped her little brother.

"I still don't get it," Roka eventually mumbled and kicked a pebble away. It rolled under a booth that was made of junk and scrape metal. Several lights blinked all around it's opening and inside sat a wrinkly and bold humanoid with a cigar in his mouth. "You're not the helping type. What is it you get out of this?" She waved a hand as if she meant this market place, but she referred more to the whole situation. "Why do you help me find Josh? What's in it for you?"

There was only a mean snickering coming from the Master, mocking to be an answer. Roka peeked up at him, searching for a hint in his features, but as always, he wouldn't give anything away. And, as always, he looked completely out of place, wearing his usual attire of all black, dress shirt, waistcoat, pants and boots. Only a blood red tie and his blond head contrasted the sight. His posture was casual, hands tucked away in his pockets, eyes scanning the marketplace for something interesting.

They turned around a corner and found themselves suddenly inhaling all sorts of delicious smells, all coming from the various booths and shabby looking merchants inside. Roka wasn't sure if she actually wanted to eat something here. After all, the whole place was one gigantic junkyard and trading went down mostly via exchanging items, rather than money.

The Master didn't bother. His appetite was as untamable as ever, so he went ahead with a mischievous smirk and hypnotized a merchant to hand him something wrapped into newspaper. One of them he handed to Roka, who sniffed at the content with wrinkled nose.

"Don't make such a face," he mocked. "It's just fried cholbera bugs. Bet you ate worse on your travels."

"Yeah... sometimes. Mhm... this smells nice at least." Carefully she picked out one of the small, fried objects, slid them between her teeth and chewed carefully. "Hey, that's not bad." Roka munched the next bug, feeling her stomach grumble from the previous lack of food. "I once had to live on something that looked like berries. Small, yellow things. Tasted like shit, literally. But they were high on nutrition and there wasn't much else around, so..."

The Master chuckled. "Yeah, some places really have horrible food."

"Makes me wonder," Roka drawled, while chewing, "did that ravenous appetite of yours, you had after resurrecting ever vanish? I mean, it was outstanding even before that..."

"Oi! Don't be mean!"

She giggled and threw an impish look in his direction. "Come on, you can't stay away from food if your life depends on it."

"At least I'm not pouring buckets full of coffee into me each day," he snapped back, although more amused than peeved.

"Okay, okay, draw. Let's get a place for the night and see if we can find more when it's day again."

"TARDIS?"

Roka huffed. "It's a five hour walk from here. Or does your mighty remote control work again?"

The exact function he had been bragging about in front of the Doctor all the time had actually broken down just s few days ago. Much to his sorrow. It wasn't the only part of the time machine that would not work properly. All in all she was in a much worse shape than the Doctor's. The Master had escaped the Time Lock because he found a crack in reality and had piloted his TARDIS through it. Turned out the process had taken a toll on the ship and countless of her functions. And without the Time Lords it was hard to find the right parts and tools to repair the damage.

Because of this it was no wonder Roka got only a low growl in return, and since her Vortex Manipulator was still charging they had not much choice than to either walk or stay here. For once the Master even refrained from complaining about her human need for sleep. Probably because it was almost a week since he himself had gotten a good night's rest, and a week was definitely long, even for Time Lord standards. So far, though, Roka hadn't been able to find out what it was that kept him awake.

Rain started to pour down in thick drops and heavy streaks as they left the market and the fleeing crowd behind to head back to the small city that had been built right in the centre of the junkyard. It was an astonishingly clean place, considering the circumstances. People had settled here over two centuries ago and had learned to keep the dirt and junk, and also the smell, out of their settlement.

Somehow it was even a nice place. Houses towered above their heads in shaky constructions of old metal, while other shacks hunched below the giants. The settlers had installed lights everywhere, illuminating the place all day and night, making it look as if they had spread a bucket of stars over the junk.

Somewhere they got some proper food, then headed their way to what managed to look like a medieval tavern. Well, except for all the metal, of course. The interior was loud and full, the air thick with smoke and the smell of various liquors. At the bar stood a young fella, almost humanoid if it weren't for the greenish skin and the scales that grew only on neck and hands.

"What do you need, travellers?" he greeted, while wiping a cloth at a dirty mug, as if it was a thing all bartenders in the universe had agreed to do all the time.

The Master stepped in, leaned a little over the counter and glared into the creature's eyes with an intense stare. "You'll give us a room for tonight. Free of charge, because you like us so much."

"Free... of charge. Of course," the man repeated in a slightly slower voice, but then he shook his head. "Don't have rooms for two anymore, friends." His smile was apologetic, the shrug too.

"Doesn't matter," the Master grumbled. "Didn't plan to sleep anyway."

"Alright, then it's room 12." The young guy smiled widely and he turned to rummage around in a drawer, before he came back to hand them a small key. "Enjoy your stay."

Without a thanks the Master snatched the key and pushed it into Roka's hands. His eyes wandered over the people and the place in general, as if to decide with what he would waste his time during the next few hours.

"Maybe you should get some sleep too," Roka suggested carefully. "Don't you dare thinking I don't know you haven't in a while."

His eyes snapped from the crowd to her, showing surprise and a little concern for a split second, before he could hide it behind his usual mask of mischief. His thumbs wandered into his pockets and he bent down a little towards her, eyes twinkling. "You heard the fella. There's only one bed."

Right... there was. Roka bit down on her lower lip and nodded. "Still, you should rest _somehow_." She poked a finger against his chest. "That can't be healthy. Even for you."

For a moment she awaited him to protest, but instead something else crossed his eyes, something dark and exhausted. He clearly was at his limit right now, and knew it perfectly well, although he would not admit it aloud.

"And you should stop wasting your worries on me. I know what I can take."

Nonetheless he followed her upstairs and into the sporadically decorated room. Beside the bed was only a small table and a desk - everything made of metal scraps - and a small, adjacent bathroom. From the window they could see out into the streets and watch the thousands of lights that had given this place its name. Not that Roka could actually pronounce it, though.

The bed was small, the covers grey and not looking as if they could keep one too warm at night, but Roka had slept in worse places already. Most of the time, actually, she hadn't slept in beds at all, preferred to have the night sky over her head. It was always a strange feeling to lay on her back and see nothing but the ceiling when she looked up.

The Master moved to the window to stand there, straight and with his hands clasped behind his back. He often did that, maybe as some kind of meditative Time Lord resting... thing. A picture of calmness, although Roka knew better.

"Why don't you sleep?" she decided to ask while kicking off her boots and hanging her jacket over the chair.

No answer.

Roka sighed and crawled under the covers. "Fine, don't tell me."

Only then did she feel how tired she actually was from wandering around all day. Her eyes fell shut in seconds, her mind slowly drifting away into the darkness, accompanied by the busy noises from outside.

"It's still somewhat insulting how well you can sleep while having _me_ around," a low, mocking voice seeped into her floating mind.

She would not move, hoping the Master might talk some more while thinking she wasn't perceiving any of it. A weight settled on the bed next to her, the fleeting touch of fingers against her cheek, then playing with her hair. Sometimes he could be so gentle, like the calm caress of a subtle wave. While other times he was the perfect opposite, a tossing storming ocean, roaring thundering through time and space.

"I put a lot of work into you, little crow" he muttered. "That can't have been for nothing. I wouldn't like that."

Yes, indeed. He had freed her of the glitch that had made her invisible to everyone, that would have caused her atoms to dissolve slowly over time and leave her as nothing but a literal ghost, one day. He was the only person who hadn't forgotten her, and only in the last moments of her existence had she learned the reason for it. He had taken her life with his own hands, because he knew her death would cause the paradox of her glitch to unwind and would tear reality itself open all around them, with himself being the centre of this wave of destruction.

It had burned the memory of her into his whole timeline, making him unable to ever forget her, no matter in what part of his life. But with the annihilation of her existence she also had never really died, so the wave had stopped and reversed at some point, leaving the two of them as the only witnesses of this ever happening. After that she somehow had been still alive, the glitch gone, and neither of them entirely sure how it was possible at all.

And the Master demanded payment. For searching for her for over ten years, knowing he would have to take her life the moment they met. Either this or erasing her from time forever. And that he couldn't do, his feeling for her running to deep to give her up like that. As payment he had demanded to hear each and every single story of her travels, effectively taking her prisoner for years with this.

"Roka?" his low voice asked. But she kept silent, unsure if he knew whether she slept or not. She heard him sigh, his hand retreating from her hair.

Instead she felt his weight shifting onto the bed next to her, but still a good distance away. One of her eyes crept open slightly, peeking through the half opened lid to see him lying there, his head perched in his hand, eyes staring into nothingness.

Once she and him had been close. Before the drums had overtaken his mind, before he had been resurrected, and before he had fell into the Time Lock, together with his burning home planet. For one and a half centuries Roka believed he had abandoned her for some stupid revenge on Rassilon, leaving her unseen and unremembered to the universe. Leaving her to wander time and space all alone, sadness turning to desperation, then to hate.

A hate that had grown stronger when she realized he tried to _keep_ her, and that also didn't diminish when the Master had brought her to the Doctor, to utilize his knowledge of humans. For utterly selfish reasons, but with a surprisingly good-willed purpose.

He wanted her to smile again, to fix her soul that had been broken by loneliness.

Much later she had seen his memories. Of how unrepairably broken his mind and body had been, of how the Time Lords had finally removed the link in his head, leaving him with only silence that had almost broken him. After centuries of having the drums in his head, the Master almost hadn't been able to cope with them being gone.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

His fingers mindlessly tapped the old rhythm against the sheets of the mattress, his eyes wandering off into the distance of his own thoughts, struggling to stay open.

There was much the Master could be blamed for. More things than there were stars in the sky. But he had never abandoned Roka. And even though over a century of hating him couldn't be erased within a moment, she found herself being able to leave the past behind her and to allow herself to... she wasn't sure what exactly. But it was herself who had suggested travelling together, after their stay with the Doctor and Amy.

"I know you're awake," the Master stated suddenly, an amused smile twitching the corner of his mouth upwards.

Roka huffed and opened her eyes. With a yawn she turned so her back rested against the wall and tugged the blanked down a little. "And you cannot, for once, respect my personal space, can you?"

"Never." The smile widened to a cheeky grin. "You wanted me to sleep, didn't you?"

"I'd rather know why you don't."

The mirth vanished from his eyes in an instant and Roka _felt_ a sudden sting of panic. It was over so fast she wondered if it had been imagination. There was no reason for any kind of fear right now, so why should she...

"Time is a dangerous thing to toy with, you know," the Master mumbled and closed his eyes. "Things that shouldn't be could be again. And things you thought were broken might end up not being so broken at all."

"You make no sense," sighed Roka. "What does that have to do-"

"Nothing. Forget it," he suddenly snapped and she fell silent in surprise.

She watched him, now certain that something was off and definitely not as it should be. And of course the Master was too stubborn to let her even know about it. Well... not _her_ problem. Roka closed her eyes and tried to finally fall asleep, expecting the Master to wander off soon to occupy himself with whatever he usually did when she rested.

It took her a few minutes, in which she probably nodded away at least twice, before she realized he wasn't moving. Her eyes crept open, peeking to the other side of the bed. Her heart started pounding a little faster, for no valid reason, in her opinion. There was so much space between them that a third person would easily fit in the space, after all.

And as much as she tried to fight it, it was exactly this space that bothered her so much. No, she absolutely no longer hated him, and whatever she felt right now only confused Roka. So many years ago she had been lonely, thanks to the glitch, and had clung to the only person who wouldn't forget her. And for the longest time she had assumed this had been the reason she had developed any feelings for him. How else could it be, considering who he was?

The Master was death, a wave of burning chaos that left nothing but destruction it its wake. He was dangerous, he never hesitated to take lives, no matter if out of necessity or out of mere fun.

But had she not done a fair share of bad on her own? And certainly not all of it because circumstance had demanded it.

A chuckle made her open her eyes again. "Still awake?" he taunted. "Do I scare you so much?"

"You wish," Roka grumbled into the pillow. "Just... too many thoughts in my head."

"'Bout me?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah." She hadn't planned to admit it, but his dumbstruck face was somewhat reward enough for that slip. "I'm not a good person, am I?"

"Because you travel with me?" he asked, the twinkle never leaving his eyes as he slightly leaned towards her. "Or what dirty thoughts about me are spooking through your head, little crow?"

It was no help. She blushed horribly and tried to hide her face in the shadows. " _Nothing like that!_ And stop calling me that, you bugger."

"At least _my_ pet names for _you_ are nice. You can just admit that you like me, you know," he continued to tease and poked out his tongue.

Roka narrowed her eyes and tugged the pillow out from under her head to throw it into his face. He caught it though and only laughed, which made Roka shoot up and towards him to push the pillow back down with her own hands. Not that she would be able to do much about his inhuman strength, she only wanted to be mean, right now, grinning from ear to ear when she managed to surprise him for a short moment, the pillow muffling his protest.

A second later it was gone, ripped out of her hands and tossed against the wall behind her. The Master grabbed her wrists, threw her onto the mattress and knelt above her, mischief all over his grinning face that now leaned down so close to her that their noses almost touched.

"That wasn't nice."

"It wasn't supposed to be," Roka quipped back and poked out her tongue. Their eyes locked in a little staring contest and her heart rate sped up so much he must have felt it pumping through the veins in her wrists. Not out of fear, but because of the closeness that made her struggle not to stretch up to him a little, her eyes falling to his lips, twitching away almost in guilt.

It happened again. She _felt_ something, an emotion that wasn't her own, although she couldn't tell how she knew. There was a hint of sadness, of regret. The Master's eyes lost the mischief and instead took on a warm smile she could feel reaching right into her soul.

"At least you can have fun again," he stated, the softness of his eyes belying the casual tone. He let go of Roka's wrists and flopped down to the mattress again, facing her. "Fine. That bed's mine now. You're right, I need to sleep a little."

She needed a moment to find her composure again, her hands dropping to her sides, her head turning to the Master, who lay there, one hand under his head, eyes closed, but his face not completely able to hide the barely visible smirk on it. He could be so childish sometimes and it made her smile.

Roka reached behind her and fumbled around for the cloth there. "You don't have a blanket, though," she mumbled and tugged herself under said cloth, out of protest, and also to tease him a little more. "I hope your toes freeze off. Or... something else."

The Master let out a snort, reached out and grabbed her blanket to steal it away. She held on to it tightly, rolling around in the process and landing with her face against his chest. Carefully she peeked up, hoping he would not feel her maddeningly fast heartbeat. He abused her distraction, tugged at the blanket once more and draped it over them both. His arm went under his head again, the other snaked around Roka's middle and pulled her flush against him.

"Yep, I think that'll do," he cheered and closed his eyes.

Roka wouldn't move, her pulse still ridiculously quick, cheeks flushed. She had one hand between them, slightly pushing against his chest to have at least a little space. There she felt not only her own heartbeat, but his too, faster than it should be.

A lot faster.

Because of her.

Roka stared at her hand, feeling for the fast rhythm underneath it, knowing he was still awake and aware of what she did. His breath brushed over her the top of her head, his arm holding her firm in place. As weird as it was, but Roka knew she was safe. For the moment at least. So she relaxed and ignored how utterly wrong it was to feel so secure with this man. She even snuggled herself a little closer and fell asleep much faster than was appropriate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my new story! x3  
> As always, I try to explain things on the go, so you get the important information without having to read the previous stories. (If you want all the juicy details, though, start with "The Master's Game")
> 
> This story will probably be a little darker than the previous one. It will also focus less on TV episodes (although there will be some). It's exhausting to do rewrites. And there also might be slightly (lol) more M rated content in it. But I'll tag those chapters with an (M) for you.
> 
> There also will be a surprisingly frequent guest. It's just funny to have her around, so... You'll see. ;P
> 
> ~~ Also as always, I'm super happy to read comments, even simple one liners. Don't be shy. x3


	3. I - Dreams and memories

_The grass glowed golden in the light of the sinking sun, gently waving in an unfelt breeze. He walked up the hill to a large tree with silver leaves that wore the same golden tinge in the current light. It was an image from a tale, an image he witnessed almost every evening and that, however, never ceased to amaze his plagued mind._

_There under the tree sat a boy, roughly twelve years old - his own age - blond hair and freckles on his face. The eyes were cast upwards to the sky and watched the slowly appearing stars. As if the boy had heard him, he turned his head and smiled playfully._

_"Did you sneak out again, Koschei?" he asked and the smile dropped. "You shouldn't. Your father will only beat you again."_

_He shrugged and sat next to the boy, cross-legged. "I'm old enough. If he doesn't keep his hands to himself he won't live that much longer."_

_"That you always say."_

_He huffed. "Not scolding me again?"_

_"I... I don't want you to hurt anyone." The boy cast his eyes down. "But..."_

_"He is a bad man. Wouldn't it be a good deed to remove him?" Koschei smiled sarcastically to himself. "One day... it won't be only words." He glared up at the stars and felt his hearts pounding excitedly at their sight. "I'll run away, Theta. Not today. But as soon as I will have learned enough."_

_The boy looked over at him, eyes wide. "And see the universe? Look at all the amazing places from our books?"_

_"Look at them?" He huffed amused and a smug grin widened his lips. "No. I want to hold them in my hands. Those shining lights up there, those beautiful blinking treasures. I want them to be mine. All of them."_

_His hearts were longing for the stars since he could remember. And maybe, if he was lucky, there would be one place where he might find out more about the strange drumming noise he heard so faintly in the back of his head. He had searched all the archives in the academy, but had found nothing about it. And asking another Time Lord was out of the question. Keeping the drums a secret had been the only way to ensure they would let him visit the academy after all._

_He had not even told Theta about it. And he was his best friend._

_"Will you take me with you?"_

_Koschei turned and looked into the curious wide eyes of said friend. He smiled back at him, his hearts feeling warm and jumpy, as they always did. No one else was accepting him just as he was. Only Theta ever did._

_"Sure. I'll need a slave on that journey, after all."_

_"Oi!" protested the boy and got only a mean snickering back. "We're equals!"_

_"No, silly, we're not." Theta's face dropped and his eyes displayed a sudden sadness that was unbearable, so Koschei hastened to add, "We're_ friends _. And when we're ready to leave... I want you by my side, yeah?"_

_The blond boy nodded and sighed relieved. His face got a dreamy look when he glanced back up at the sky. "Let's visit each and every single star out there."_

_"Big plan." He snickered. "I like that."_

_The suns vanished behind the horizon, drowning the fields in blue and purple shades. For a while the boys said nothing, being fully engulfed in the sensation of passing time and the soothing gravity of their rotating planet. Their home._

_"Each and every single star," he murmured to himself and smiled._

_"Yes. And we won't stop until we're done," Theta added, his voice barely audible._

_"Never."_

__

Slowly the images faded into blackness, got overridden by other, more incoherent scenes from Roka's memories before she awoke completely, and somewhat puzzled for various reasons.

Firstly because there was a faint rhythm drumming in her head, a steady and slow beat of four. The Master had once projected his drums into her head and it had completely overwhelmed her, had made her barely able to even move, nor to properly think, until he had removed them again.

Secondly there was that weird dream from before. Never had she been to Gallifrey, hadn't even seen pictures of it. So how could she have dreamed so vividly about the place?

The solution to both puzzles probably lay right next to her. Slowly the memory of the previous evening resurfaced, their silly pillow fight and the Master so plainly misusing her as his personal cuddle toy. The thought made her grin impishly, especially when she got aware that he still held her tight in his sleep.

Roka huddled herself a little closer, realizing she was hearing his heartbeat, not any drums. Those were gone anyway. It was comfily warm and in her sleepiness she wanted to preserve the feeling of closeness she wouldn't have allowed for while being fully awake.

She couldn't have slept for long. The Master never needed more than one or two hours of rest, and even as exhausted as he must have been before, she doubted he would stay much longer. He was such a strange person, Roka thought. Still eager to have her be scared of him, often ruthless and sometimes outright brutal in what he did, and other times so gentle with her, wanting her close and even openly admitting it.

Slipping away a few inches she watched his peaceful face, the regular rising and sinking of his chest, the calmness he displayed, a lie to himself. They always played a dangerous game with one another, a dance of not quite trust and still too much of it. In this moment it would be so easy for her to free the universe of one of its greatest threats. The Master must be aware of the risk, and she was aware of the opportunity.

Not that she would be interested in harming him. It were other thoughts that nagged on her mind, thoughts she always tried to banish, but that kept creeping up to the surface whenever Roka didn't ask for them. Lying with the whole length of her body against him, feet slightly intertwined and his arm still around her middle was definitely too much at once. She couldn't resist trailing a finger over the spot of bare skin lurking out from where the buttons of his dress shirt were opened, lightly pushing his loosened tie to the side and sliding lower over the cloth, brushing the buttons, feeling the muscles under his skin. She wandered farther, closer to his belly. He let out a sigh, moved almost unnoticeably against her, the slight friction sending a shiver through Roka she could barely ignore. His hand on her back twitched, his fingers slowly gripping her site, then stroking tenderly lower, not waiting for any invitation as he slipped them under her shirt, trailing them upwards her bare skin, back to her hip, where he started to draw small, agonizing circles.

She shivered, almost letting out a surprised groan she could hold back just so. This had to stop right here and now or else she would simply let him do with her whatever he wanted. What _she_ wanted, to be fair. Her breath hitched noticeably when his thumb lightly, almost too accidentally brushed against the underside of her breast.

"Stop that," she bit out between a moan and clenched teeth.

He did. Immediately. Roka opened her eyes to see his amused smirk and wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that he did what she had asked for.

But the weird relationship they had was complicated enough and she was still undecided where her future way would lead. If she would stay with him at all, or only until she found her brother. If anything between him and her was even remotely able to work. Sure, her time stream was frozen, so she would not age, but there was still so much more that separated their very species from each other, not to speak of their characters. They might share a lot of traits, the love for the stars, for travelling and the freedom to do whatever they wanted. However, ultimately, their goals were different ones.

Where the Master wanted to own the universe, Roka was more eager to experience its secrets, altering only small bits, instead of creating huge waves. She also wasn't too fond of the Master's methods to obtain his goals, although his madness seemed to have calmed down a good bit without the drums.

He was on the search for a new purpose and the answer to the question, who he actually was without the rhythm constantly forcing him to action. And Roka was on a similar quest, wondering who she could become, now that she was real and visible to everyone.

Confused and undecided she turned herself around, with her back facing the Master as if in protest. The motion made the blanket slip from her shoulders, but he wrapped it back over her again and slightly curled himself around her in the process. Surprisingly not in a possessive manner, as she would have expected, leaving her still enough room to move away if she so desired.

She didn't. Instead she leaned back a little, feeling his warm body against hers, one hand snaking over her middle again to rest on her belly. Above her clothes, this time.

"Want me to go?" he muttered into her ear, the soft voice belying everything she knew about him.

"N... no. 'S alright." She sighed, feeling too tired to overthink this too much. Still, there was a question she wanted answered. "Do... you share dreams while sleeping?"

"No," he mumbled. "Why? Dreamed of me? That why you just-"

Roka poked him with her elbow and his mean snickering vibrated on her back.

"I saw Gallifrey," she finally told, her voice maybe a little bit more sourly than intended. "And you, as a boy. And... I think the Doctor as well. But you called him... Theta? Is that his name?"

The Master stiffened and was silent for almost a minute, not moving a single muscle. Roka thought she could feel a fraction of the tension that was radiating from him, an emotion that wasn't her own, again. But it also could be imagination on her end.

"That... was only a nickname. He never told anyone... You can't know that, little crow." He held her a little closer to himself and murmured, "I don't know why you saw that. Wasn't intentional. Tell me about it."

Roka did, in as much detail as she could remember the scene.

"That was no dream," the Master finally said, and it was hard to tell if he was surprised, concerned or only puzzled. "It happened... a long time ago."

"Then I saw a memory of yours?"

"Mhm... peculiar." He hummed deeply, almost growling, then removed his hand and sat up. "That shouldn't happen."

Roka turned to see him stand up and walk to the window to glare out of the dirty glass. Only for a few seconds, though, before he marched to the door and dropped his hand to the handle. His eyes shot towards Roka for the fraction of a second, thoughtfulness overshadowing every other expression. The Master shook his head slightly and pushed the handle down, leaving the room without another word.

Roka wondered what this had been about, and why she had seen his memory. But first and foremost she felt cold now, the presence next to her missing more than she was willing to accept.

__

They left the junkyard and scoured the area around, although there wasn't much to be found beside concrete ground and dust. Whatever the planet's past was, it might be worth a look. At a later point. Roka made a note in her notebook to remind herself of the coordinates.

The second half of the day was spent with the way back to the TARDIS. They took a small detour to cover more ground, but ultimately found nothing of interest.

"If only I knew what I'm looking for," Roka sighed and leaned against the scrape-metal hut that the TARDIS currently was.

"Stop nagging, it's only the fifth place we've been to."

The Master waved her words away, his gaze absently glaring into the distance. He looked - and felt - a lot more rested than before, but Roka could still sense something off about him. Since they had left the Doctor, he was acting strange.

Okay, he _always_ was, to be fair, however not this kind of strange.

"Did you find out why I saw your memory?" she eventually asked when the silence between them stretched for too long. Her curiosity for that subject had gnawed on her the whole day, but until now she hadn't really dared to ask. Mostly because she awaited to get no answer anyway, or one that would leave her as clueless as no answer at all.

"Psht!" made a voice from behind.

Roka hurled around, searching for the origin of the sound, only to find a dirty hat poking out from the shadowy side of the TARDIS. The Master had noticed it too and bent to the side to peek at the small person that stood there.

It was an urchin, short, dirty and so skinny it made Roka's heart clench. Maybe it was the same from the day before and it took her almost a minute to realize he was staring at _her_ and not at the Master.

 _I'm visible_ , she had to remind herself. _Not a ghost anymore_.

"Get your sorry ass lost, kiddo," the Master snarled and even pointed his laser screwdriver in the child's direction.

The urchin, though, showed no sign of fear, the eyes and most of his face hidden under the too big hat. Slowly he stepped closer to Roka and she held a hand out to signal the Master to calm himself, while she squatted down to the kid's eye-level. She felt strangely tense, a tingling wandering down her spine as if someone was watching her.

Instinctively her hand closed around one of the knives she had on her belt. Child or not, it could be controlled by someone else, it could be a species that only _looked_ like a humanoid child. He scuttled closer, his movements natural, but maybe not tense enough for a street child his age.

"You have to follow me," the boy finally spoke up and rubbed a dirty sleeve over his nose.

"Why? Who wants that?" Roka enquired, squinting her eyes at the small figure. No matter how she moved, he always hid his face from her.

"I... I don't..." He suddenly took a step back and shook his head. "It... It's just in my head. Who are you?"

"Hey, calm down, little one. Just tell me all you know, okay?"

"Or you let me look inside his head," the Master suggested casually.

The child tensed visibly, eyes hidden under the hat. He looked behind himself, winced and let out a small whimper, then hurled around and suddenly ran forward, chased after Roka, a small glinting object in his hands.

She shot straight, exerting a half turn and in the same movement taking a step to the side. The kid ran right past her, stumbled surprised and fell to his knees. A sob escaped his mouth and he rubbed the dirty sleeve over his face once more.

"I won't do that!" the boy whimpered. "Please, I don't want to..."

"Can I kill it now?" the Master drawled, lurking out behind Roka's back and glancing at the small figure in the dirt.

"Are you nuts? It's only a child!"

"That just tried to kill you... And seems to be insane, by the way," he stated in the same casual tone.

Right as he said this the boy picked himself from the ground, hat deep in his face as he turned around, the movements too fluid to be natural. Only years of practice normally made one able to move like that. But he did and again charged after Roka. This time she was almost a tiny little bit too slow, having not awaited him to attack again. She slipped on the dirt and fell backwards. The boy threw himself to the side as if he was fighting against his own body.

Arms caught her fall and the child ran away and out of sight. The back of her head dropped against the Master, but he held her well enough to not let her fall further. In this half standing position she looked up at him, but his look was far away, fixated on a point in the distance.

"What the hell..." the Master muttered surprised.

Roka looked in the same direction, but couldn't make out a thing. She straightened a little, trying to get free from his grip, but he was too distracted as it seemed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"What?" Finally he looked down at her, his eyes puzzled.

"What's wrong?" she repeated. "You sounded as if you saw something."

"Yeah... No... I didn't, did I?" He squinted his eyes back at the previous spot and shook his head.

Suddenly Roka felt a weird sting of confusion and almost fear running through her. This time she was absolutely certain it wasn't her own.

Roka sighed, leaned back at his chest and smiled up at him. "See? That happens when you don't sleep enough. And there you always nag about..."

"It's not that," he growled back and shot her a sour look. His eyes again scanning the direction he had been looking in before. "It's weird. I don't like weird. Not _this_ kind of weird, at least." Finally, though, he seemed to get aware that he still held her and glanced down, the worry slowly morphing into a smirk. "I like you so close though," he teased, grinning, his hands moving up to cup her face, his thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks. "Tell me, you like it, too."

She almost did, the warmth in his hazel eyes gently coaxing the words out of her mouth. Instead she reached up for his hands and tugged them away from her, before she took a step to the side and poked him playfully.   
  
"Let's get back inside, before more of those kids appear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading and enjoying this!
> 
> Also, if you are as big of a fan of the Master as I am, head over and read [**Intertwined**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21723034/chapters/51818128) by the lovely author **CrossMyHearts**. Can't tell you enough how much I love their story. x3


	4. I - Barriers

The interior of the Master's TARDIS looked a lot different than the Doctor's. The walls were lined with bookshelves and foreign machines that constantly moved like clockworks. The console itself was clean and of black metal, but engraved with delicate patterns that could only be felt when one ran their fingers over them. Somewhere stood a table with lots of taken apart things, where the Master loved to tinker around. And when he wasn't busy with that he usually sat on the sofa he had dragged inside here to read.

What Roka liked most about his TARDIS, though, was the lighting. The whole console room had small lamps everywhere, black and with delicate metal cages that resembled leaves. The light they gave off was of blue and green colours, contrasted by a set of orange lamps around the sofa area and the control table itself. The room was bathed in the sensation of being underwater, but still managed to give off a surprisingly warm ambience.

She strolled over to the table and picked up her Vortex Manipulator and a small tablet in which she had stored away all important data the Doctor had given her. It also could be used to access the tiny bots in her head. A necessary augmentation the Master had gotten for Roka, because her human brain wasn't designed for her infinite life span. Like this she might not have a better memory than other humans, but at least she wouldn't forget her past completely.

Still pondering about the strange encounter with the urchin, Roka typed in all info they had gathered on the planet - which wasn't much. She had to remind herself that this would probably take a long time, maybe even years. In case they wouldn't run into something useful by accident. Until then it was all about gathering data and sorting it for patterns.

__

"You seem a little distracted," Roka remarked some days later.

The Master paced up and down inside the console room, some small gadget in hands he was constantly tinkering with. But here and there he seemed to completely forget about it, sometimes rushed to a table to write something down, only to get back to the console and read some data, to then remember the device in his hands again.

"No, 'm not," he mumbled absently. "Just thinking. Scheming." A half-hearted smile shot to his face, vanishing as fast as it had appeared. "The usual."

"New plans for the grand takeover of the universe?" she teased with a smirk and leaned against the console, steadying herself with both hands.

He only hummed confirming, although it could mean anything, actually.

"Or a new idea to bother the Doctor?"

"That too," he mumbled into his beard, his eyes suddenly lighting up and he ran back to his table to scribble down another set of circular writing. "Might get him riled up quite a bit, that one," he chuckled to himself.

"You just left him on good terms," Roka reminded him. "Why the animosity again?"

The Master looked up and gave her a, truly, puzzled look. "Again? _Still_! And why do these bloody fukori-circuits always burn up?" He growled lowly and threw the small device onto the sofa, before he rushed to the console and pulled two levers directly next to Roka. "At least the infinum-capacitators seem a little more stable now."

"Eh... are you working on ten things at once?" Roka eyed him suspiciously as he already left again to grab some new parts and a screwdriver, flopped cross-legged to the ground and started to dismantle a circuit board.

"Could be... didn't count."

She sighed and shook her head. "Well... I'm going to have a nice long and hot bath now, and then get some food into my stomach."

There was no answer, no teasing, no ambivalent remark. Instead he suddenly was holding his head as if he had an ache, eyes pressed shut tightly. A moment later he blinked with a concerned expression, shook his head and mumbled something only he could hear, so Roka just left him to his own business.

When she returned, cheeks red from the warm water and hair still damp, she found him under his control table, sitting with his back against the base, head tilted upwards, eyes closed. It almost appeared as if he was sleeping. And maybe he was, considering he still kept himself awake for way too long.

Roka went down on her haunches and waved a hand in front of his face. There was no reaction and for a few moments she only watched him, not quite willing to wake him, but also not to stop... well... looking at him. The Master was a handsome man, after all, no denying that, although a small voice in Roka's head rebelled quietly.

Her feelings were still an unkempt swirl of uncertainty, the idea of simply leaving and that of staying for much longer equally appealing. Well, not _quite_ equally. She leaned a little forward, tempted to be just this tiny little bit closer, her eyes glued to his lips. And suddenly there was a hand grabbing her wrist, tugging at her just enough to get her off-balance so she practically almost fell against him. Roka could catch herself in the last moment, one hand pushed against the control table, the other on his shoulder.

"How impertinent, little crow," the Master muttered and swiftly caught her site, drawing her closer and right into his lap. She had to practically straddle him so she wouldn't fall.

And before she could get away again he slightly bent his knees, trapping her in place and making her slide flush against him. His hands caged her face, drew her to him. He was so fast Roka had no time to react. Their foreheads connected, eyes locked and noses touching they sat there, in unmoving quiescence. Roka felt his breath on her lips, her own racing heartbeat, the urge to lean just a little bit more forward. The Master, though, strangely made no movement, wouldn't push in any way, and just drank in her presence.

"Listen," he uttered and closed his eyes, "it's so quiet." Belying their intimate position there was no urgency about him, no heat. One of his hands snaked around her, resting on the small of her back, fingers spread. The other moved under her chin, tenderly stroked along it and sent a strange, sudden calmness into her mind, allaying her silly heart as she understood that he, right now, only wanted to share this quiet moment with her.

Roka complied, listened closely to all the noises the time machine was making, from the buzzing electricity to the slight hum that always filled the air. She listened, although she knew she would never hear the same kind of silence as the Master.

She stayed and didn't move, listening while his thumb tenderly stroked over her back, her head inching ever so closer, almost unnoticed, until their lips were only a breath apart. His eyes opened ever so slightly, the warm hazel of his irises mesmerizing her in ways she would never understand. But he didn't move, neither encouraging nor coaxing her into anything. Roka understood he was giving her the feeling of being in control of the situation, of knowing it was all up to her, no matter what her decision would be.

She lingered there, subconsciously getting aware of his hearts drumming against her chest. And suddenly it scared her that she was able to do this to the Master, that a man like him was letting her into his carefully crafted shell, and that she, in return, wasn't able to open herself up to anyone.

She just couldn't.

Slowly Roka retreated, every last bit of her mind rebelling against it. The Master glared at her, then cast his eyes down, and in the same moment she felt such a sadness overcome her that it was hard to breathe. He moved his hands from her back and stretched out his legs so she could get up easily, while he himself stayed put.

Roka got clumsily to her feet, coughed slightly, trying to shake off the emotions she had caught from him again, and decided to ask him about this phenomena another time. Her eyes fell on her Vortex Manipulator, her fingers sliding over the console. She needed something... _anything_ to distract her now.

"So... since you have so many plans of your own..." she began carefully, not quite looking at him, "Do we go to the next coordinates? Or... I don't know... you drop me off somewhere and I meet you there again?"

The Master rose to his feet and turned to the controls. He shook his head, but didn't look at her when he spoke. "No, I'm coming with you. The plans can wait." He shrugged, absently glared at a map of star coordinates and then started to pull levers and push buttons.

__

It was always hard to keep track of time while travelling with a TARDIS. It also had been with Roka's Vortex Manipulator. Same thing, in the end, when it came to this.

"'m not even that sure anymore how old I actually am," Roka grumbled while noting down everything they had gathered from the last visited places. "Two hundred is just a nice number... but it could be some decades more. Not less, though... at least that I'm certain of."

The Master didn't react immediately, and when he did it seemed only half-hearted. He shrugged, not even looking in her direction. "You'll get used to it. Doesn't matter anyway."

His mind was somewhere else again, scheming something in the background. He seemed constantly tired, lately, but no matter how hard Roka pushed, he wouldn't give away the reason for it. Only thing she knew, was that it made him a lot more irritable than usually. Roka could feel it, and it started to worry her.

Then there also was their weird mental connection that seemed more or less intense from time to time. Roka hadn't brought up the subject yet, although she wasn't quite sure about the why. She wondered whether it was only herself that was affected or if the Master, too, felt _her_ emotions, and simply wasn't bothering with explaining the whys. Also there was a small voice in her head...

The TARDIS suddenly shook violently, sending her flying from the sofa onto the wooden floor. Usually the Master handled his ship a lot smoother than the Doctor, and it actually was the first time Roka experienced her making a fuss like this. The Master cursed loudly and rubbed his head, obviously having nudged it somewhere against.

"What the everlasting, sodding, bloddy Vortex bugs!" he called out and kicked against the pedestal of the control table. "Where _are_ we?"

"You tell me," Roka groaned and got herself up again. "I thought we weren't travelling, right now?"

"No... we weren't," he growled back and frantically scanned his small monitor with his eyes. "Tried to fix the stupid korova mechanism. _And that shouldn't send us flying anywhere!_ " He slammed his fist into the controls, making Roka jump.

She stepped next to him and lay a hand on his arm. "Hey, calm down, nothing bad happened."

The Master snatched her hand from him, grabbed it almost painfully tight and then literally threw it away.

Luckily Roka stood stable or otherwise she would have landed on the floor once again. Instead she only took a surprised step back and the Master's eyes widened slowly in shock. He reached out as if to touch her and Roka retreated quickly, more out of reflex than anything else, but the hurt in his eyes suddenly overshadowed his previous anger.

"Stay away," he mumbled, the words sounding like an apology.

This time she felt nothing from him, wondering if he might be closing himself off right now, even belying himself, so he wouldn't have to face whatever it was that bugged him these days.

Actually, now that Roka thought about it, he was distancing himself quite a lot, recently. And with a sting in her chest she thought to know the reason for it.

Ever since the small incident under the control table they hadn't come any closer again. Not even remotely as close. Roka hadn't thought it would affect him that much, though. The Master was, after all... _himself_. And a Time Lord. So much older than she would ever be, his entire species programmed to be above such primitive things as feelings.

Sure, she had seen the Doctor together with Rose, but he was a completely different person when it came to these things. The Master was cold and distanced towards everyone, didn't let a single person into his life. The first time they had met, so many decades ago, Roka had thought he must be the loneliest man in the entirety of time and space.

Maybe the thought hadn't been so wrong.

Maybe he now had started to hate her a little, for distancing herself from him so much. Because Roka had been the first person since who knows how many centuries that he had allowed close to him. And who, if not Roka, would have to know how unbearable loneliness could be?

She noticed the error in her thoughts when she stepped back and shyly peeked up at him. One of his hands was grabbing the console next to him, his knuckles white from the firmness. His eyes were filled with regret and almost desperation, when he finally looked at her.

"I don't want to hurt you, little crow," he muttered.

It wasn't the first time she heard him say these exact words. She knew - this time she _felt_ \- how true they were. But when she wanted to reach out for him, he rushed past her and deeper into the TARDIS, from where he wouldn't return for quite some time.

__

Roka had spend over twenty years living in the Doctor's TARDIS. The glitch had made him forget about her, time and time again. And since there had been no one to forbid it, Roka had wandered the depths of the time machine quite extensively. Not only once had she endangered her own life with it, though, and only the knowledge of the potential danger was what now kept her from exploring the Master's TARDIS too much.

But since they were hovering inside the Vortex and the Master was nowhere to be found, Roka got bored. She wasn't entirely sure whether or not it was safe to dare a jump with her Vortex Manipulator while they weren't parked. And she also didn't want to risk him flying off without her. Right now that wouldn't surprise her that much, considering how he avoided her.

She wanted to apologize, wanted to tell him how stupid she was to behave like this and how she _actually_ felt, but that her bloody mind was, for some reason, not allowing her to act upon it.

Something still held her back.

The Master had literally kidnapped her, after he had lifted the glitch. And then he had dragged her to the Doctor so _he_ would fix Roka. Somehow he had. He and Amy, but for a huge part also the Master himself. They all had helped to make her able to smile again, where before she had only been broken and empty.

A wound, created by loneliness, couldn't be healed so easily. She had found the memories of her journey to be even more troublesome, after the Master had gotten this brain augmentation for her. The human mind wasn't designed for a lifespan like hers, so she had slowly started to forget more and more things of her past, up to the point where she had started to write everything down. But he had brought her to a specialist and now her brain was literally covered in who knows how many tiny bots that allowed her to access all those memories again.

And they hurt.

Properly remembering everything also meant getting more aware of the pain she had endured. And there had been lots of it. Far more than a single person should ever be forced to bare.

No. This wasn't something that would just heal within a short time.

Roka sighed and glanced up from the book in her lap she wasn't even reading. The library was still one of her favourite spots in here, and it was even bigger than the Doctor's. But right now she just couldn't for the life of hers focus on reading.

Instead she sauntered into the console room, hands buried in her jeans pockets, head in thoughts. She really hoped to find the Master in here, but there was no sign of him, again. Her eyes fell on the small monitor on the console and she stopped short.

They had landed somewhere. Or maybe the TARDIS had done so on her own, misbehaving as she was these days. That actually was exactly the sort of distraction Roka had been looking for, so she rushed to the doors to push them open and peek outside.

There was lots and lots of snow. Mountains of it, actually. This wasn't earth though, as she realized fast when she checked the coordinates on her Vortex Manipulator. They were somewhere in a galaxy and also a time that were both so far away from earth that it was hard to even think about.

In front of the TARDIS, but at least some miles away, lay the ruins of a city. It was truly a sight to behold, even in the current state. Once this place must have been highly advanced - at least for her understanding. Tall buildings rose into the air, perforated by time, bent and twisted as if a giant had toyed with them. On closer inspection it actually seemed as if they had somehow molten into their current form, black obsidian statues of grotesque forms standing out from the glaring white of the snow, but dull and overgrown at the same time. There were grey and blue plants covering everything, and Roka wasn't so sure if those were real plants or decorative elements. From that far away it was hard to tell.

So fascinating was the sight, that Roka forgot about the cold that gnawed on her slender frame, and she spun around in sudden shock as she heard steps that clearly were too light to be those of the Master.

A person came up the hill, treading slowly in the all consuming white, but steadily approaching. They were dressed in a white snow suit and wore a warm hood and tinted glasses against the glaring white. There also was a large backpack lurking out behind their head. The traveller stopped and took off the glasses, eyes wandering curiously over Roka, then over the massive snow heap that was currently the TARDIS. It didn't seem as if the traveller recognized it as such.

But Roka very well recognized those blond curls that lurked out from under the hood, knew the ever so curious blue eyes, that now wandered over herself, an eyebrow raising at her unfitting choice of clothes for the weather, probably wondering how Roka had gotten here.

Roka coughed and smiled a little, raising her hand in an awkward greeting towards the blond one. 

"Hey there, River."


	5. I - Meeting backwards

"You.... know me," River stated carefully, shoving her snow goggles into her pocket.

"Uh, yeah... guess I do." Roka slightly tilted her head, then finally understood. "But it seems you've never met _me_ , so far."

River's eyes lit up as she, too, understood. "Ah, the joys of time travel, right?" She grinned and came a little closer, her movements clearly showing she didn't trust Roka, yet. "I hope we met and separated on good terms."

"Can't prove it, but yes." Roka shrugged and watched the curly woman stepping a little further, a hand shielding her eyes as they scanned the ruins ahead.

"Phew... impressive. More so than I thought it would be."

"Mhmm, kinda tempted to take a look at those," Roka mumbled. She turned a little to eye River and decided to just ask, "We briefly met a few times. But I actually never learned, who exactly you are..."

"Oh? Well, if that's so..." She stretched out a hand and smiled her playful smile. "River Song, human and aspiring archeologist."

Roka took the hand and returned the contagious smile, although this answer was as unrevealing as expected. "Roka Arkerson, also human and err... no profession, actually. 'm just travelling around, collecting stories 'n stuff."

"And my companion," a voice from behind added, letting it almost sound like a threat.

Both women spun around to face the Time Lord, who was now standing in front of the snow heap, ignoring the cold weather in his usual attire. His posture suggested calmness, but Roka knew him too well by now to see that he was carefully observing the situation.

_My companion._

Roka felt her heart jump at those words, both in joy and surprise. Part of her had been wondering if he even still wanted her around, after he did his best to avoid her. There was, however, a playful smirk on his lips when he sent a look in her direction and then another, annoyed one, in River's.

"Are you following us, you pesky nuisance?" the Master demanded. "And don't lie. Believe it or not, but I _can_ tell if you do."

River shot straight and glared wide eyed at the Master. Her wristband beeped when he came closer and she pressed a button to stop it, but never took her eyes off him.

"You're... a _Time Lord_?" she breathed out disbelievingly. "How can that be?" She stepped closer to him and held out a hand as if to check for his heartbeat. The murderous look in his eyes probably prevented her from actually doing so. "Then you must be the D-"

"Don't call me...!"

"... Doctor..."

The Master groaned. "Seriously, as if he's the only Time Lord in the... well, okay, right." He waved a finger towards River. "But still. Don't _ever_ compare me to him!" He grumbled, but then a wide, wicked grin formed on his face. "Now look at that. We've never met, have we?"

"No. I'd definitely remember. All those years the Doctor was so devastated that he's the only one left. And here you are..." She slightly shook her head. "Does he know?"

"Yup." He grinned even wider. "I made very sure he won't forget our little encounters. Ever."

In the back Roka couldn't help but roll her eyes at that statement and smile at the same time. River arched a brow, obviously contemplating if the man in front of her was good or bad news. In the end she decided on settling for conversation, for now.

"Well, glad to hear that," she remarked, clearly showing that she knew in what way the Doctor would never forget. "And you two are here on... vacation? Not the nicest place for that."

"Not really." The Master shrugged, not taking his sceptic eyes off the woman. "Only parked here for the night. You know... all this useless sleeping you humans love to indulge in so much."

"No one forces you to stop by somewhere while I do," Roka sighed. "I'm not going to suddenly disintegrate or something the like."

"With you I can never be so sure," he grumbled back with an amused undertone in his voice.

Roka nudged him with her elbow and nodded towards the ruins. "Since we're here, let's have a look at that city down there," she suggested and when she saw his unamused side glance at River she added sweetly, "I'm sure there's some nice treasure. Maybe one or two things for repairs."

The Master pursed his lips in protest and tried to stare her down, but Roka didn't even think about giving in. It wouldn't even surprise her, if the real reason for their presence here was, because his TARDIS had, again, just landed somewhere, without his permission. Roka gave him a knowing smirk she knew he couldn't resist for long.

And really, eventually he grunted annoyed and nodded. "Okay, let's go. But if that one," he pointed at River, "makes any problems, I'll kill her."

"Oi, slow down, deary," she protested. "No need to get so violent so fast."

The Master almost growled, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the woman. "Then be careful not to bother me, human."

With that he gruffly rushed past her, bumping her with his shoulder on the way, only to turn around one step later and waiting impatiently.

"Haven't asked for your name yet," she remarked with a smirk. "Do I even want to know?"

"'Cause you do," the Master decided and showed his politician smile that promised no good. "I am the Master," he announced. "And I'm not going to let you get away with just anything, like our daft Doctor does."

River's eyes widened at his name, but her face stayed unmoved by his threat. "I've heard stories about you. The butcher of Khorevel, scourge of the Gankresl Nebulae. You erased an entire solar system only to get the emperor of Jaskivik to give you their collection of red-dust diamonds."

With each word she spoke, the look of proud in the Master's eyes grew bigger.

"You were the one who woke an ancient huacar and watched it rampaging the lands of Golgerat, slaying everyone who dared to come near you to stop it." Now her voice got accusatory, her gloved finger pointing at him. "It was _you_ who were responsible for the loss of twelve hundred colonies in the perukina sector! And you mindlessly murdered a squat of the best men I ever had the honour to travel with!" River suddenly and very quickly stepped closer, her eyes now dark and angry. "And now you have the audacity to stand here and smile at it!"

The Master only laughed out loud and amused, throwing his head back.

"Not sorry for any of it." He leaned a little down to the woman and gave her a villainous grin. "Watcha gonna do about it? Cry like a little girl?"

Roka poked his side and coughed slightly, but he completely ignored her.

"You might know what I _did_ , pitiful little human, but you have not the slightest idea who I _am_ ," he went on and pursed his lips mockingly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be so surprised."

Roka also wasn't. And if he was ignoring her then it truly wasn't her problem at all.

River lunged out so fast it startled even the Master, and before he could grab her hand she already had slapped him right across his face, making him stumble backwards for a bit - even though probably more from surprise than the force of her hit - the unbelieving expression on his face priceless.

"Oh, I'm not surprised at all," River stated in a calm tone that belied her previous action. "And what I will do? I'll make sure you won't ever harm the Doctor when I'm close. Don't you ever dare."

The Master only rubbed his cheek with a frown so deep it seemed impossible. And then, so quick that Roka almost couldn't see his movements, he hurled himself forward a step, grabbed River's collar and pushed her with a loud thud against the TARDIS. She tried to lunge out once again, but in a flash of a second his hands moved and had grabbed both her wrists, trapping the woman between himself and the solid snow heap, fine powder raining down on both of them.

" _You_ won't make any demands, human," he snarled dangerously. "I have no idea who you are and how you are related to the Doctor. But what is between him and I is _none_ of your bloody business."

For the first time River actually seemed almost a little frightened. Almost. Roka stepped next to the Master and stuck out her tongue at him, deadpanning, "I would have slapped you too."

His eyes got a lot darker for a few moments before he turned his head to Roka, but then softened a little and he stepped back from River. Not without shooting her another murderous glare, though.

"Okay, now let's have a look," Roka decided and gave River a wink, before she nonchalantly stepped past the Master, turned halfway and waited dramatically for them to follow, as he had before.

"With that one?!" he asked incredulously and pointed at the woman.

"Well..." River responded a bit sourly, but already back at her old composure, "You can of course stay here." With that she also rushed away and let him stand alone in the snow to join Roka.

The Master let out an annoyed grunt and rolled his eyes at the two, before he, sulkily, decided to follow, and to ignore Roka's wide smirk.

"Have I ever told you, you're annoying?" he hissed at her.

"Only a thousand times or so." She poked out her tongue.

He let out a loud sigh and shook his head, then looked her up and down for a moment, arching a brow. "It's too cold for humans out here, isn't it?"

It was, although the temperatures weren't that low. Some snowy planets were surprisingly warm, and this one was one of them. It still was _cold_ , though.

"As much as I hate seconding him," River chimed in, picking up her backpack from the snow, "he's right. How did you two even get here in those clothes?"

Now the Master had found a keyword to grin nastily, so he did, and proudly thumbed behind him at the snow mound. And oh, it was visible how much he enjoyed River's puzzled look. "TARDIS. _Including_ a functioning chameleon circuit."

Before the situation could escalate once again, Roka grabbed his sleeve and dragged him back, ignoring his amused giggle. He opened the doors for them to enter, but closed them quickly, so River had to stay outside.

"And what do you need me for, in here?" he asked mockingly, when they reached the wardrobe.

Only then did she notice she had dragged him all the way, still holding his sleeve. Hastily she let go and turned away. "Nothing for," Roka shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure, River stays alive until I got a jacket."

The Master hummed amused and followed her around. "There I thought you need a few more styling tips. Or... you know... someone to help undress."

"And you say Time Lords can't get needy," she mumbled, smirking smugly over her shoulder. "Really thought you had better control over yourself."

The only answer was another, slightly mad-ish chuckle, that she decided to ignore, for her own sake. It was somewhat comforting, though, that he was back to his old, teasing self, after this hiding period. It eased her worry that he might want to send her away for whatever reason.

"Does every TARDIS come with such a wardrobe?" she pondered, while strolling up to the section she knew held winter clothes. The setup was almost the same as the Doctor's, although his collection had an addition of collected stuff from all his travels, whilst the Master's was tidied up and well organized.

"Only the ones that are meant for long time travel," he explained. "We had smaller machines that were meant for single pilots, others could only function in short distances, both in time and space."

"And you, of course, stole the biggest one you could find?"

The Master chuckled. "I had several. This one was given to me for my war services. They expected me to work with the team... but... Eh, guess you know how well that worked out."

"I can imagine," Roka mumbled and picked a simple black hoodie from somewhere and an isolated undershirt from somewhere else. "Did you hide from those, too?" she couldn't help but ask.

The slight stiffening of his posture gave away that he knew exactly what she was talking about. "I didn't hide."

"No. You just avoided me like the pest."

"Of all things, that's what bothers you," he grumbled, almost more to himself.

Roka shrugged her shoulders. "There's lots of things bothering me, lately. Always. But first you can't keep yourself away from me, and then you pretend you're not even here. Or... _I_ am not. And the latter I hate even more." She cast her eyes down, halting in her steps. "Maybe I just don't like being treated as if I'm... you know... invisible."

Like a glitch.

She more felt than saw him wince again at her words and turned right in time to see his face wear an expression that, with other people, would have probably lead to an apology. It vanished quickly, got replaced by a mask of mischief.

"Thought you hated having me around all the time," he mocked, and before she could answer he added, "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"And stop treating me as if I were stupid," Roka grunted back. "I might not always get all the details, but you know very well I-"

"I don't _want_ to you to know!" the Master suddenly snapped, his mask faltering and revealing a hint of anger and also a small rush of fear, Roka could only feel.

Her mouth shut and she glared down at her shoes. "Okay." With that she continued her way through the wardrobe, picking up a pair of fitting pants.

"Just... okay?" the Master asked in disbelieve.

"Well..." Roka also finally found matching boots for the snow. "You know where to find me, if you ever want to talk."

"Are you my therapist now?" he sneered.

Roka huffed and gave him an amused smirk. "You couldn't afford me." Then her expression got serious. "It's just... whatever the problem is... you don't have to face it alone, okay? I mean..." Her lips curved upwards. "I'm your companion, after all."

The Master stared at her for a second, then burst out into a laugh, one that sounded honest and joy-filled and made her smile. "That you like, he?" He chuckled some more. "Alright, little companion. I'll consider it."

"Great. Now could you... stop following me around?" she sighed eventually. "I'd like to change without a spectator."

"Do you?" The Master visibly wasn't bothered at all by her request. On the contrary he stepped even closer, towered above her with a mischievous smile in the corners of his lips.

Roka's took a quick step back, only to bump against the wall she hadn't awaited there, the clothes in her arms dropping to the floor from her surprise.

The Master chuckled amused, leaned a hand next to her head and bent down, his body almost touching hers, his face lowered, so his now dark eyes bore right into hers. It wasn't possible for him to hypnotize Roka, that she knew. It didn't prevent her from feeling as if he had done exactly that in a mere second, with his eyes alone.

"Wh... what are you..." she stammered, not prepared at all, when his hands were on her sides all of a sudden. "Stop that. You said, you wouldn't do anything I don't let you."

"That I did," he muttered darkly, moving down to her waist, further south, to the hem of her jumper, where his fingers trailed along the narrow gap between cloth and skin, deliciously slow, teasing her. His eyes twinkled in amusement. "See? You let me."

_Bastard._

She thought it with no ire, her breath catching in her throat when she felt him lightly caressing her just a tiny little bit below the waistband of her jeans. She froze, no, slightly moved closer to him, allowed him to slip his hands under her jumper, let him slowly, oh so painfully slowly pull it upwards and over her head, only to discard it to the floor in the same movement, leaving her only in her bra before him.

Her breath hitched noticeably when he delicately trailed a finger over the round mark on her chest. The name he had once cut into her skin. His name. The thought, combined with his touch sent a shiver through her whole body and let goose bumps blossom on her arms. She moved closer, her bare skin touching his shirt, his hand pressing to the small of her back to hold her closer, his head lowering to hers.

"Look at you," he breathed, suddenly smirking impishly and slid a finger along her jawline. His mouth hovered above hers, just distanced enough not to touch her. There was a teasing smile in his eyes, when he whispered, "You _do_ have to admit that you want me."

Roka pressed her lips together, then slid the tip of her tongue over them, because they were so dry, because his name was already on them, so eager to be let loose, so desperate to close the non-distance between them.

Another second spread, then the Master suddenly stepped back, picked up the clothes Roka had dropped and pushed them into her hands. The mischievous glint in his eyes spoke more than words would ever be able to.

"As I'm seeing it... _I_ 'm clearly the _only_ one being in control over themselves here. I'll wait outside." He spoke so nonchalantly as if nothing at all had just happened, turned on his heels and deliberately casually strode away.

Roka blinked at the clothes in her arms and blushed furiously.

"Damn you," she mumbled, but also smiled a little.

He had only toyed with her, that was obvious. And it wouldn't have needed a lot more for her to give in. Even thinking about some seconds ago let a pleasant shiver run down her spine and she had to stop her mind from wandering further. There it didn't help that she had learned to mostly suppress these biological urges. This was far beyond biology, and that knowledge alone awoke a childish defiance not to let him win her so easily.

She had lots of time at hand, after all, and when he was playing games, she surely wouldn't mind playing along.   
  
With a scoff she finally changed into the new clothes and got outside to meet River and the Master there, hoping he hadn't killed her in the short time they had been alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and enjoying this! 💙  
> Don't forget to fav, follow and also let me know what you think!
> 
> It's fun to write River. She's so sassy and a perfect opponent for the Master. *giggle* It's such a shame they never met in the show. It would have been so much fun.  
> Also, Roka and the Master are dorks. And idiots. And they have way too much time. (No worries, though, they'll get there ;) )


	6. I - Descend

River was still alive.

Then again, Roka couldn't imagine she would have let herself be killed so easily. Not even by the Master. Both stood there, lots of space between them, and clearly not willing to exchange a single word.

For once the Master wore a coat over his usual attire. It was black in colour and ended just at his thighs. It was more a choice of style than of warmth. Suffice to say, though, the Master looked outstanding in it, not helping the previous situation at all.

Roka pinched her eyes for a second and scolded herself inwardly to get her act together. At least until this adventure would be over. It also was extremely unhelpful how River tossed glances at the two as if she sensed what was going on between them.

Not that she said anything about it, and for a good while they didn't talk much at all, too busy fighting their way through the thick snow. River used a scanner to determine a path that wouldn't let them stumble into snow-covered holes or other vexations.

After what felt like hours had gone by, they slithered down a long slope of mushy snow, deep into the belly of the once proud buildings around them. Darkness lay itself like a blanket over their heads the farther they went and Roka finally asked what exactly River was searching for.

"Just some kind of signal," she explained, gesturing towards the blackness ahead. "There is supposed to be remnants of the civilisation that used to live here, and I want to study them. They do have a rather fascinating history, from what I've heard."

"Yikes! History lessons," the Master complained with an eye-roll. "And why do you even bother with the long walk? You've got a Vortex Manipulator, don't you?"

"Uh... spoilers." River smiled teasingly and shook her head. "No, I'm afraid, right now I don't. I'd love to get my hands on one though. This would make things soooo much easier."

"Yeah... it really does," Roka seconded with a smirk, but didn't show her device to the woman. No matter what they had experienced together, so far, they still couldn't be sure River had good intentions. Hell, she wasn't even so sure the curly woman was a good person at all.

Then again... She glanced sideways and stopped herself in time from sighing. The Master also wasn't a good person. She could definitely deal with _that_.

While speaking they walked and climbed into and over remains of buildings, tunnels and crumbling walls of dark grey metal. The whole city seemed to be made of it. That and concrete. Everything was also weirdly "decorated" with patterns that reminded Roka of circuit boards, spreading like thin arms or tentacles over the crumbling ancient walls around them. One time they halted, so River could check something on her tablet and Roka took off one of her gloves to run her fingers over the patterns. They felt cold and let an unexplainable uneasiness settle within her bones.

"Oh! I think I found something!" River called out and waved them over with her flashlight. When they were close enough she shone the light into a hole of debris. "There is a shaft to the lower levels. We might really get to the heart of the place."

Roka got to her knees and peeked through the hole. The spare light illuminated broken concrete and stone, more circuit board patterns and wires hanging down into the depts. Her eyes didn't reach far into the darkness below, but she could literally sense the wide space in front of them.

"Yeah, sure. First we climb through all this mess and then you want us to throw ourselves into a bottomless pit." The Master grunted. "Any more fabulous ideas on how to kill us?"

"Come on, Master," Roka teased and tossed him a grin. "As if you wouldn't want to know what's down there." She pointed towards the hole. "To me it looks like they built at least as far down into the earth as they built up into the sky. There could be who knows what. Secrets, mysteries, the source of infinite power..."

He rolled his eyes and stepped from one foot to the other, his look dark. Roka knew he couldn't resist mysteries. A thing the Doctor probably didn't know about his old friend. The Master shared the same urge with him to uncover what no one else had laid eyes upon, yet. Maybe for different reasons, but that didn't matter so much.

Eventually he let out an annoyed sigh, tore the flashlight out of River's hand and crouched down next to Roka. All three were now inspecting the shaft of debris, all three eager to get down, that she sensed.

"Alright, I can't resist," he sighed again and tossed the light back towards River, before he squished himself through the hole. "I think we can use those old cables to climb down. They look stable enough."

The women followed, standing close to the wall. The space was much bigger than it had appeared before, spanning at least a hundred meters into every direction. It was impossible to make out if they were inside or outside. Above them was blackness and concrete, but it was hard to tell if there had been buildings collapsed above their heads or if they were in the belly of one such a beast.

It took a while for them to collect enough cables to dare the descent. Even the light of River's flashlight couldn't reach all the way down, got interrupted by the floor of yet another layer. But it also had cracks that might let them climb further down.

Roka felt eyes on her and when she looked up the Master was carefully observing how she secured herself, making sure she would get to the next layer as safe as possible.

"I'm quite capable, you know?" She smirked at him. "I've done my fare share of these things already."

"Well, then go ahead, you little adventurer," he remarked with an sarcastic undertone and nodded to the hole.

"I think it's better I lead the way," River offered. "The academy trained me well."

"All the better." The Master showed a nasty smile. "If anything dangerous is down there, it'll get you first."

"You wish," she quipped back, grabbed her cable and hopped down backwards into the darkness.

For a while the only thing they could hear was the sliding of her gloves against the rubber isolating the cable. Here and there also was a short curse when she bumped against something, but other than that there was only silence.

"Are you okay?" Roka asked carefully in the Master's direction.

He had been glaring at the same spot for several minutes, without blinking. When he finally did, his look turned confused and he shook his head, then suddenly pinched his eyes shut as if in pain. He groaned silently, fingers reaching up to claw into his hair.

"Hey, what is it?!"

Roka jumped to him and grabbed his arm, but he roughly shoved her away with enough force to throw her off balance and let her drop to the ground. She wasn't hurt, but it still took her a moment to recollect herself. The Master shot straight again, tumbling away a few steps.

"I made it down!" came River's voice in that moment, muffled from the distance and all the concrete and metal between them. "Next one can come!"

"Or we just leave her to rot there," the Master growled through gritted teeth, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Was a bad idea to come here at all."

Roka was still too perplex to react properly, picking herself up from the ground and peeking down to see a small spot that was River. She glanced back to the Master, who had his arms folded over his chest now, eyes averted and lips pressed tightly together.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Roka carefully. "Just a minute ago you wanted to continue and now..."

The Master visibly tensed, his arms wrapping even closer around himself. "Nothing," he muttered. "Just a headache."

That was weird enough. Roka hadn't even known Time Lords could get those. It sounded like an excuse anyway. Maybe they really should just leave. After all she had her Vortex Manipulator with her. However, she found herself grabbing the next cable, attaching her security spring hook to it. There was something intriguing about these ruins. Like a whisper in the darkness that spoke to her, wanted her to continue until they would have unearthed all its secrets.

Already her feet were dangling over the abyss, her body almost acting on its own, eager to get down. She glanced to the Master, who was watching her. "I'll be fine on my own," she assured and tapped against her wrist. "If you don't feel well, just wait for me. As soon as we're done, I'll just..."

"No." His eyes narrowed to thin slits. "I don't want you to be here. Not alone."

"Wh... why?"

The Master opened his mouth, closed it again and shrugged. "I don't know. It feels wrong. You know how much I love ruins like these, but..." Absently he rubbed the back of his neck, squinted his eyes and glared back into the hole. "Never mind. Go ahead."

"Feels weird to me, too," she mumbled back and started her descent down the cable. "But more like... As if the place wants me to be here."

Without awaiting an answer, she slid further. It was surprisingly easy to get down, the debris giving enough room to rest her feet and to find hold. She had to stay focused, though, not wanting to accidentally slip and fall. Still, the Master's behaviour wouldn't let her mind rest. Sooner or later he had to tell her what was going on. It wasn't even about him being rough to her. She knew he did it not on purpose. And that knowledge bothered her even more.

"You took your time, choosing who goes first," River remarked teasingly when Roka had reached her side. "What took you so long?"

"Private... stuff..." Roka evaded, not very willing to tell a stranger about any of it. "You can come down, Master!" she called upwards.

He made a good show of easily sliding and hopping downwards to them, moving quick and skilled and a good bit faster than the two of them had. The smug expression on his face made Roka roll her eyes, but not without silently giggling about the behaviour.

"First done, another few to go." With an enthusiastic clap of her hands River threw another long cable down into the darkness and shone her flashlight after it. "I think that should be long enough. Might have to do a little jump at the end, though."

"Then I go first, this time," the Master said and already stepped towards the hole. He nodded towards Roka. "You second."

"Okay."

It was safer to go one by one. That way they didn't risk the cable to carry too much weight at once. The Master was down fast and by the sounds of it, and the curses that followed, the drop was a good way. Roka made sure he seemed alright, then followed quickly, now a little more safe in her movements. Climbing really wasn't her choice of sports.

"Just jump," the Master told, when she reached the end of the cable. It was at least two or three meters she would have to fall from here.

"You're a little more robust than I," she grumbled and inched further down, pondering whether or not to bridge the last meters with her Vortex Manipulator.

"Let go, idiot. You'll survive."

Roka huffed. "Yeah, I know that."

From this high she wasn't even risking a broken bone. She knew how to use her legs as a puffer so she would land as smooth as possible. A last time she looked down to see if there were any obstacles, then she took a deep breath and let go, the air rushing past her in the sudden fall, her heart pounding quickly from the released adrenalin.

Her feet never hit the ground. There was an impact, something squished her chest and pressed the held breath out of her lungs. And that was it. Roka opened her eyes and looked straight into a smirking face.

"Gotcha." The Master smiled happily and nodded upwards. "Won't catch that one, though."

Roka chuckled and dropped her forehead against his chest. "You're such a dork," she giggled against him.

He sat her down and let go quickly, turning away to take some steps back, as if he wanted to get more space between them. Roka's smile dropped and she wanted nothing more but to ask what this was all about, but she knew there would be no answer, and so she stayed silent for as long as they continued climbing.

"I think that's it," River announced after what felt like hours of climbing. They could hardly see from where they had come and were only happy that their brought cables had been enough to get that far. "I don't see any way further down."

Together they searched for a new way in the darkness. This part still belonged to the buildings as there was concrete and metal all around them. But now there were also plants, delicate veins in greyish colours that sparsely snaked around the debris lowest to the ground.

Roka found a set of doors, although it took her a moment to identify them as such. It were thick metal plates with lots of circuit board patterns all over them. The plants didn't touch those and one of them sat loosely enough to be opened. Roka peeked her head through it and shone her flashlight into the darkness ahead. A long corridor unwound itself there, surprisingly free of rubble.

"Here!" She waved the other two over and together they entered and continued their strange journey into the belly of the ancient city.

"I really hope for you there is some treasure at least," the Master grumbled. "So far, all tech we stumbled upon is absolutely useless. And I want to get at least _something_ out of this."

"Well... The academy that sent me here taught us, the previous civilisation was high advanced when it comes to that. They say they were able to do things we would think of as magic. But not much detail is known about it all. It's as if nothing ever left this planet. Including the species itself, although they certainly could have."

"Yay, we're chasing ghost stories!" The Master threw his hands up in the air and let them drop, together with his mocking smile. Then he turned to Roka and glared venomously at her. "And you dragged me into this."

She just shrugged it off. "Haven't forced you to anything. You could have stayed."

"And leave you alone with..." He gestured towards River, behaving as if she could not hear him.

"Well, I'm sure the girl is a lot safer with me than she'll ever be with you," the curly one retorted sarcastically.

To Roka's surprise the Master didn't give a snide retort. Instead she felt a pinch of hurt shooting through her, and she knew it must come from him. It had felt almost like guilt. Again she had to think of his weird behaviour, how he avoided her and tried to always keep a good distance between them, as if... he feared to hurt her against his own will.

Roka stopped dead in her tracks and glared at the Master, who was gradually vanishing into the darkness ahead. Quickly she caught up, but now her worry gnawed even more on her than before.

Something was very wrong.

"How long do you intend to bore us with these ruins?" the Master drawled towards River.

"You can always go back and ease us of your lovely presence, deary," River remarked snidely, but sweetly.

The Master only grunted annoyed and kept astonishingly quiet throughout the rest of their way. It got darker with every step and it felt as if the surroundings were swallowing every desire to speak, as much as they devoured all sound around them. Roka knew places like those and usually they were filled with moaning of ancient metal and the sounds of crumbling and falling stones, wind howling through holes, small noises from nocturnal animals that had gathered in niches and whatnot.

Here, so deep below the surface, there was only silence.

Eventually they followed a slightly brighter way and left the tight corridors to find themselves in a weird kind of clearing, half outside, half buried under debris. The whole place was absurd, astonishing and almost impossible to grasp for Roka's mind, how this was even real, as deep into the ground as they were. It was hard to tell where inside started and outside ended, but here and there they could make out stars, blinking through the humongous structures that pointed into the air like ageless trees. The buildings were crooked and partially sunken against each other or completely broken, covered in snow and countless thick wires that almost looked like vines in the darkness.

Roka stared up in awe, feeling incredibly small and insignificant at the sight.

It was then, that she got aware of the faint glow. It started almost unnoticeably, spread in the corners of her eyes through the weird circuit board patterns she had noticed before, as if it was blood pumping through metal veins, bright blue and purple colours rushing upwards all around them. The glowing shot to the stars as if to embrace them, accompanied by millions and billions of tiny glimmering particles of the same colour that filled the air like the magic of old stories.

"Look at that," the Master spoke next to her, eyes glued to the extraordinary sight. "The universe is still able to impress me."

"It's... beautiful," Roka ushered breathlessly.

"Yeah..."

She felt it. Somehow, in a way she couldn't comprehend, she knew it before it actually happened. She felt it in the same moment the Master spun around, like a thought that wasn't her own, rushing through her mind. She turned to see what was startling him and came face to face with the sight of an ocean of glowing creatures on the other side of the clearing.

They were tall, thin, ethereal and hard to actually see. She could make out robes of light and spears of purple glowing metal.

And then pain.

Like the screeching of a million voices at once a sound filled her head, so foreign and unprocessable that she instantly fell to her knees, clutching her head in agony. It was like the dying scream of an ancient metal creature, clawed at the walls of her mind, tearing painfully at her consciousness she so desperately tried to retain. But it didn't help.

The moment her world faded into oblivion, she yet was able to see how all the lights from before turned a bright, blood-promising red, pulsating through the glowing particles and the patterns alike.

And then they died out all at once, leaving nothing but darkness behind.


	7. I - Within ruins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is what the apocalypse looks like... people hoarding toilet paper, the old folks crowding cities and parks as if they were suicidal...  
> We might get a curfew in the next few days. Some cities already have them...
> 
> And it's not even friggin zombies!
> 
> At least I'd know how to deal with those. ¬︿¬
> 
> Anyway. Stay safe out there! And enjoy this chapter while hiding from the world.

The soft crackling of fire eased its way through the silence and the blackness of unconscious dreams, promising warmth and safety. It was indeed warm, and a soft touch on her head helped her back to the waking world, played gently with her short hair, until she got aware of other sounds. Soft rustling of cloth, a quiet cough here and there, and a voice.

A voice that told of the ancient, of the dark, of a schism that let one look into time itself, and of a race that once held the key to such a tear in the fabric of everything. Not the Time Lords, but...

"Beings as big as the structures these ruins are made of," the voice told. "With thick, smooth skin and leathery wings, their appearance so strange not even _we_ could quite grasp it."

Roka listened. She knew that story, had been there to experience it herself, after all. She listened as the Master told of how he had connected himself to her mind, had been able to hear her thoughts and experience everything she did, because as a human she had been the only one perceptible to the mind tricks this ancient species was playing on them. Only through her could they open doors that were locked with mechanisms closed by madness that only affected _her_ senses.

But he altered the story. Told how they had stolen the key and sold it for a galaxy in return, where, in reality, the ancient gods of this place had bitten themselves into Roka's mind, and therefore into the Master's, had overwhelmed them both with terrifying nightmares they had not been able to escape on their own. The Doctor had helped, had told her how to rip the connection to the Master, and had then guided her out of the nightmares himself.

She liked the Master's version a lot better, smiled to herself in her half sleeping state and only then wondered, whom he was telling this anyway.

" _There_ you are!" River's voice called out surprised from somewhere that sounded a few meters away. "Geeze, I thought you were rampaging who knows where and then you're here... telling stories to children."

The Master chuckled and remarked snidely, "Yeah, a bit hilarious, isn't it? You hear the woman, get lost, y'all!"

The rustling of cloth and many blabbering voices followed, scattering and fading after a time. Roka had to hold back a laugh as she grasped the situation. But she didn't want to move, didn't want to be fully awake and be forced to leave the lap she was sleeping on. She remembered how he had tried to keep her away from him, recently. Now he did the exact opposite.

And it made her annoyingly happy.

The memories of the previous event crept back into her head. The red lights, the glowing figures in the dark, the screams in the air and the pain.

All gone.

They were safe now, as it seemed. So there was really no hurry.

"She still hasn't woken up?" River asked softly. "Why won't you let me have a look? I have basic medical field training. If..."

"She's okay," the Master grumbled. "You can't do shit for her."

"If you say so. Hope you're right."

Cloth rustled again, steps resounded on stone or concrete, vanished shortly after, left behind nothing but the crackling fire that strangely echoed around them, giving of the impression of being inside a huge cave. Maybe they were. Roka was curious, she wanted to know where they had ended up, wanted to know what had happened to her.

But learning all that would mean to leave this position.

"I know that you're awake, little crow," the Master uttered softly, brushing his nimble fingers through her hair once more.

Roka groaned and turned in his lap, burying her face into his site and grabbing his jacket. "Not yet," she mumbled against him. "Please."

"And that although you usually run away from me all the time." There was no accusation in his tone, maybe a little regret, but nothing else.

"'S you who's avoiding _me_ , recently," she mumbled back and finally opened her eyes to peek up at him. "Is your _headache_ gone now?" She made sure to let the word sound like it stood between huge quote signs.

The Master cringed a little, but nodded. "For now."

"You must have hit your head really bad, though," Roka mumbled and snuggled up on him some more. "Telling children stories instead of threatening them."

At that he laughed out. "Oh, you should have seen their terrified little faces. Besides... wasn't my idea. One of them came over and meant we folks surely have a lot to tell about the outside world."

"'n you had nothing better to do?"

"'Cause not. Had to keep an eye on you."

Roka huffed. "You're so crazy," she mumbled. "Love that."

It wasn't her own emotion, she could tell it, as a quick rush of happiness pooled into her, making her aware of her exact words before.

The Master hummed with a slight smile and murmured almost inaudibly, "Do you, now?"

Well, she wasn't going to take it back, that for sure, but Roka also didn't answer and finally sat up to take a look around. If only to distract herself from the current situation.

Her mouth instantly dropped open.

It was no scenery she would have awaited in a thousand lifetimes. The fire sat right at the ragged edge of a broken down building, falling downwards into dizzying depths below them. But they weren't really outside. It was hard to grasp for Roka, seeing layers upon layers of broken down buildings, reaching up for miles. Something had burned or crashed a hole right through them, leaving a massive round crater, surrounded by the broken carcasses of metal beams and concrete and hanging wires. And all around the edges were small lights, some tiny, some bigger, some obviously fireplaces and others of artificial origin.

Roka realized there must be houses, or settlements, built from debris, lining the broken layers like stars. The longer she looked around the hole the more it made the appearance as if people had settled here since quite a while. There also were more of the glowing circuit patterns they had found outside. Most of them broken and many only faint or flickering, and together with the fires they bathed the whole place in a weirdly soothing eeriness.

"Wow," she let out eventually, her mental capacity not really able to get something more elaborate together.

"I wanted to get you back to the TARDIS at first," the Master tore into her thoughts, "but I thought you definitely would want to see this."

She turned to him and nodded with wide eyes. "Thanks. This is... fascinating. I've seen a lot, but... wow. Just wow. I love this. Wish I had my camera with me."

He chuckled and nodded to the edge, where the remains of a concrete wall pretended to be a banister. "You should take a look down. It only gets better."

Roka's eyes widened even more, which made him smile, and she carefully got to her feet and moved to the edge. It was mind boggling just how deep down it went. And there she also found out what probably had crashed into those buildings and left the crater. From what she could make out there sat a huge whitish-blue crystalline ball. Not perfectly round, but with jagged, spiked edges and glowing faintly in the darkness below, pulsating like the heart of a giant. It was surrounded by a net of thin veins of the same colour, diverging in all directions and spreading over the floor, debris and walls to hold the crystal in place.

The veins didn't reach all the way up to them, thinning out rather quickly, but still leaving their eerie glow behind. Roka couldn't tear her eyes off this picture. Not for what felt like a very long time. Not only because the sight was so fascinating, but because...

...it felt so familiar.

She shook her head and took a step back when she realized it. Weird. It was the same feeling that had urged her to climb deeper and deeper, even when the Master had started to act strange, even when she should have turned back with him and leave. Like a faint tugging in her mind and her heart.

It was uncomfortable.

"What exactly happened?" she finally asked, breaking away from the crater and returning to the fire. "And how did we get here?"

"Mhm... where to start." The Master waited until she had sat down again, close to him, his head lifted to glare up to the layers above them. "It seems the signal we heard, the one that sounded like screams, it probably overloaded your brain bots."

"Ugh." Roka groaned annoyed, rubbed a hand over face and then peeked at the Master through her fingers. "You could have warned me that this can happen so easily."

He only grinned at that and shrugged his shoulders innocently. "That or forgetting. But if you want, I can look into it and see if I can shield you better."

"I thought no one can access those bots."

"No. Not directly." He shook his head and thought for a moment. "But I might be able to set up some mental barriers that..." His hands waved through the air, encapsulating a small space within them. "No idea how to explain. I can't alter their function, I couldn't hack into them or anything the like, if that concerns you." A mischievous smile whizzed over his face. "But a brain has lots of energy to play with, so..." His hands dropped and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, if it helps. Guess if you really wanted to harm me there'd be much easier methods, anyway." Roka gave him a sarcastic smirk, that he returned.

Oh, how they both enjoyed this little game of danger and never quite knowing. Neither of them was harmless. The Master not at all, that much was obvious, but Roka, too, knew how to fight and how to be fast and lethal.

Not right now, though.

"Those people we saw," he continued, "turns out they inhabit this place. No idea how they did the glowing thing. All the lights and the signal are some kind of alarm system, as it turns out. And... uh..." He glanced to the side, suddenly avoiding Roka's eyes. "Anyway. They learned we weren't enemies and let us through."

His behaviour made it more than obvious that something else had occurred, that he didn't want to tell. She let it slip, for now, too curious to explore the place.

"Good thing they aren't bad. When I saw them I got quite the scare. Or maybe it was only because of the pain, I don't know." Roka sprang up, feeling restless and jumpy all of a sudden. "Eh, my head's fine again, I really want to explore a little."

"Sure about that?"

"My head or the exploring?"

"Both." The Master chuckled and rose to his feet.

Excitement built inside Roka like she hadn't felt in ages. This was a special place, something extraordinary, she simply knew it deep inside her heart. It went through her like a spark of electricity, urging her to move.

The same moment the Master subtly winced and looked at her in puzzlement for a second.

"What's wrong?" she asked, but he only shook his head.

The thought occurred to her that he might have felt her little spike of excitement, but right now she couldn't care less. So Roka took a step towards him, grabbed his hand and dragged him along.

It took her almost three steps until she realized what she had just done. And in that moment he closed his own fingers around hers, holding her hand firm and secure. She let a shy look wander up to his face and when he noticed it, the usual mask cracked and a faint smile graced his features, almost as if in a daydream.

Roka was too excited about this place to get too flustered over the situation, though. Her adventure senses were kicking in and she soaked in every detail of the ruins, the debris, the blue and purple glowing patterns, that moved through stone and metal like blood through veins, pulsating slightly, almost reassuringly.

People really had built themselves a kind of city here, she realized fast. All around the crater were houses, put together from debris, with makeshift windows and doors. Curtains were obscuring the views to the insides, but here and there faint lights were bleeding outside, revealing someone to be home there.

And then, finally, they met the first inhabitants. There was a place with less debris than anywhere else, leaving a bigger space towards the depths, so people could gather around a big fire. Some pillars with light-veins were erected around it, giving the surrounding an almost ceremonious look.

This species was of a tall build, at least one or two heads bigger than an average human, although their sizes varied widely. Some were only a bit taller than Roka, others seemed double her size. They were thin, although not bony, their skin had shades of light blue and purple, some almost white, and many emanated a faint, almost invisible glow. To add to their overall appearance they all wore wide, silken clothes that seemed to float around them, illuminated by their own glowing and by that of the surroundings. Their humanoid shapes, however, were contrasted by a weirdly shaped head. Almost completely round with an oval snout of some sorts. No visible nose, but therefore big eyes that ranged between bright green and light blue shades.

"Welcome, little one," one figure said and trod towards the newcomers. The voice was soothing, but a gender was impossible to determine from it, or their appearance. If they even had genders. The person bowed a little, one hand stretched out as if asking for a dance. "We are sorry to have harmed you. Our contraptions were never meant for sentient life." It then turned to the Master and the eyes took on an almost frightened expression for a moment, but then returned to their gentle smile. "Be at peace in our home, traveller. We won't harm the little one."

"Thanks for your hospitality," Roka answered and bowed her head a little. "You make me curious. What are those traps for? Is there danger in this place?"

"Not for you. Probably." The figure did what could be called raising an eyebrow, although it had none. "I don't think they will recognize your bio signature." They nodded to themselves and took out a small, octagonal shaped device that produced a hologram of a robot. It was shaped like a big eye with three tentacle-like feet it probably walked on. "They roam those ruins in herds. Millions of them. It is said they were responsible for the destruction of our ancestors' civilisation. Now they hunt the rest of us. But the lights," they waved a hand towards the glowing veins, "they keep them away, damage their senses."

"Ha, so you're protecting this settlement from _those_ ," the Master concluded and smirked. "That's... convenient to know."

Roka nudged her elbow at him and he chuckled. There probably wasn't anything to gain for him by destroying this place, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do it. Just for the fun of it. Or would he? She wondered if this urge for chaos was still as strong, now that he wasn't tormented by the drums anymore.

"Ah, there you are! Awake and well, as I see. Good, good." River's voice sounded from somewhere near the fire and as they looked over they saw the curly woman sitting amidst a bunch of smaller people. She waved and jumped to her feet to walk over. "The keleperians were so friendly to let you rest, and they told me a little of their history already."

"You probably pestered them until they did," the Master mumbled into his beard and Roka could practically _hear_ his eye-roll.

"You know," River said and stemmed both fists into her hips, "there are people that enjoy being nice."

There only was a snorting as answer and Roka couldn't help but grin at that. She then saw River's eyes wandering over them both and down to their still intertwined hands. It was hard to tell what she thought about it, but whatever it was, she said nothing and only waved them over to the group she had just left.

"These lovely guys are actually telling me more about their local history, right now. You can join, if you want."

"Oh, I definitely do!" Roka agreed and dragged the Master along, not bothering to even ask.

Surprisingly he didn't protest. But then again, she knew about his own love for stories. After all he was as curious as he was destructive. And hadn't stories been exactly what he had demanded as payment from her for getting rid of her glitch?

"Actually..." River was still standing, watching carefully as the Master placed himself on the carpet - or was it only a piece of cloth? - legs folded, head slightly tilted. "There's something I think you'd love to see," she said and tugged at Roka's arm. "Will only take a couple of minutes."

Roka glanced at the Master, but he only raised an eyebrow and grinned, leaving it up to her if it was meant as an encouragement or as a warning. Well... He probably wouldn't go about and eat those people, she concluded, and followed River.

They didn't walk for long and entered one of the buildings. It was surprisingly luxurious, artificial lights and candles illuminated the room, a soft looking bed was in one corner, a stove carried some pots and a tea can. Carpets and curtains in pale colours decorated walls and doorframes.

"Who lives here?" Roka asked, turning around herself to take in every detail.

"No one. Not anymore." River sat down on a stool next to the only small table in the room that was right next to the stove. "The owners died outside."

"Huh, too bad," Roka muttered and dragged a finger through the light dust that had settled on the table.

"Doesn't seem to bother you," the other woman remarked coldly, which made Roka look up surprised.

"Well, it seems this is a dangerous place, after all." she shrugged, unsure what was expected of her. "Did... you really wanted me to see something? Or will this be an interrogation?"

"Ah, you're quick." A smile stretched on River's face, her eyes wrinkled in joy, but there was no doubt that she could be dangerous in her own ways. "I'm not planning on harming you or anything the like, if that is what you're concerned about." Her hand waved through the air as if to wipe away all worries. "Just need some answers. And honest, please. We both get nothing from lying to each other."

"Depends on the questions," Roka grumbled and eyed the steaming tea pot. "Is that drinkable?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It takes a bit to get used to, but I think I quite like it."

She made no indication of offering Roka some, so she got up and helped herself. Nearby were some small clay pots that looked like mugs, so she picked one and poured herself some of the liquid. Sceptically sniffing at it she leaned at the stove and watched the curly woman.

"Why are you with him?" River asked softly, almost with a hint of compassion. "Did he kidnap you? Is he hurting you in any way?"

"Eh, what?" Roka blinked perplex and forgot about her beverage for a second. "Who? The Master?"

"Of course him!" River stood and paced up and down a little, obviously unable to sit still for long. She looked back at Roka, observed her features and shook her head. "You're human. From what I've heard he hates our kind."

"You heard right then. But I'm with him on my own volition Although..." She cocked her head and chuckled a little. "...he _did_ kidnap me at first. No need to worry though." She took a first sip of the beverage and wrinkled her nose at the strange, not-really-describable taste. It was somewhere between sweet and bitter. "We share some history, you know. It's a rather long story and I'm not in the mood to tell all of it."

Finally River stood still, her back straight, hands folded behind it and eyes as sharp as that of an eagle. "Are you like him?" Her voice was cold now, almost threatening. She stepped to Roka, close enough to have a slightly menacing effect, but not so close to enter her personal space. "Do you want to harm those people?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down!" Roka held up her hands for a few seconds, balancing the mug so nothing would spill. "We didn't even plan to come here and we knew nothing about there being people at all. And if you don't give him a reason, I'm rather sure the Master also won't do anything _too_ stupid. Right now at least."

Her words didn't seem to calm River much, but she retreated a little and got herself a mug. "He didn't tell?"

"Tell what?"

River huffed and leaned next to her against the stove. "No, why would he..." Her head turned sideways, facing Roka in a thoughtful way. "He was the one who killed the inhabitants of this house." She watched carefully how Roka winced a little, how her eyes widened. "No, he hasn't told. Of course not. When you passed out he used this mockery of a screwdriver and shot at least half a dozen of the keleperians without even blinking... Each time they tried to step forward he killed another one."

"Oh..." Roka only made, able to imagine all too well how that had happened.

"One of them tried it with reasoning then. Explained that it hadn't been their doing and that they would look after you." Still she was observing, her voice laced with something that could be disbelieve, shock, and a hint of hatred. "His answer was a laugh and two more dead bodies. Only after that did he pocket his damn device and picked you from the ground to follow them."

Roka swallowed and glared into the golden liquid, before taking another sip. How far would he go to protect her? Although it seemed his actions were not only lead by concern. He never minded hurting or killing people. Almost never. She had accepted it, had agreed not to interfere, although she at least tried to influence him a little. Sometimes it worked...

She smirked and glanced sideways at River. "Seems like you shouldn't anger him. And the people here obviously forgave him. Or knew he acted to protect me."

A humourless laugh came from the other woman. She spun around and stabbed a finger at Roka's chest. "Over ten people are dead! Because of _you_. And that is your only answer?"

"Can't bring them back to life, can I?" Roka snapped. "And _I_ did nothing to them. Besides... 'S not as if I like what happened. Don't think that. Just learned not to cry over things I can't change anymore." She took the last sip from the beverage, unsure if she really wanted to have more of it or not. "I'll ask them if there's anything I can help with in return."

"You're cold as an iceberg, girl," River muttered and shook her head.

"Maybe," she mumbled in response. "It's what you learn to be when you live long enough."

The curly one huffed, her face returning to her usual sarcastic look. "I know a man who surely is a lot older than you. And he is kind and never cruel."

Roka blinked. Once, twice. She wasn't sure what to answer, wasn't sure how much River actually knew about the Doctor, about what he did, about what he was _able_ to do. Sure, he chose to be the good one over and over again. He always found a way to save the day and as many people along the way as possible. But... No. She decided not to say anything.

Instead she slowly nodded, closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm not as strong as the Doctor. What he is able to do... I'm not sure anyone else would be. I... don't think I'm even that much of a good person... I mean... considering whom I chose to travel with."

"Oh dear, oh dear," River mumbled and, surprisingly, smiled warmly. "Well, none of us can choose to whom our heart belongs."

Roka winced and pursed her lips slightly. "That's not... not how it is," she closed stubbornly.

"No?" River gave her a sarcastic little laugh. "Well, it's none of my business." She winked and turned away, leaving the house and Roka behind.

Sourly she glared at the floor and decided to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach. It really wasn't like that at all. Or maybe she only tried to convince herself that it wasn't. Everything else still just scared her too much.


	8. I - Crimson particles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First week of being locked away... It really doesn't help my depression. X_x  
> Writing helps... or rather... editing... Most of those chapters are written long before I publish them. xD  
> Anyway... I hope you are all well and healthy, physically and mentally. Take care of yourselves and those around you. x3

Roka told the Master about what had happened. There was no reason to hide it from him and also no harm in him knowing of it. It also didn't seem to surprise him, although he mocked her for not having found out more about River while at it. Roka only grumbled something inaudible to herself. She wasn't good with these things. Around people she mostly fell back to reacting rather than acting first. Being invisible to everyone certainly did not teach one good social skills.

While she had been away with River the Master had listened to tales of this place. He briefly told about a few, his eyes sometimes twinkling when there was a hint of interesting tech or creatures to be found in one of them. Roka got a feeling they would spend quite some time digging for treasure here. The Master used every available opportunity to fix the broken parts of his TARDIS. Especially now that she was misbehaving so much.

They wandered around for a bit, peeked inside empty houses and tried to open pathways that lead deeper into the ruins. Most doors or holes were blocked, though, and the ones they could open only rewarded them with dead ends.

"We should take a look at that crystal," Roka pondered and fumbled around with her Vortex Manipulator. "Looks like it crashed down from the sky. I wonder what it is."

"A weapon maybe?" the Master guessed hopefully. "There's got to be some reason most people here died out."

"Mhm, possible. Could also be alien. A meteor... probably even a life form. Those roots around it make me curious."

"Looks like a great source of energy, that's for sure." He rubbed his chin and glared downwards. "Could use that."

Roka hummed in agreement and proceeded to stare down. Weird how this thing made her feel, tugging at her insides, gnawing at the edges of her consciousness as if it were alive and calling out to her.

"You... feel anything from the crystal?" she asked the Master.

He slightly shook his head.

Roka rubbed her temples, trying to place the feeling, but it kept slipping away. She moaned quietly in annoyance.

"Headache?" the Master asked absently.

"No... I don't know what it is." She squinched her eyes shut and took some deep breaths. "Something's weird about this place. It... _feels_ wrong." She pensively glared up to where the broken buildings vanished into the darkness, layer upon layers of concrete buildings, remnants of a place long lost.

"Or your head hasn't recovered fully, yet. Let's get somewhere inside and I'll take a look at it?"

Roka blinked up at him, searching for any mischief in his eyes, for a hint of what caused him to behave so evasively before they came here. But there was nothing. Only slight concern and the usual restlessness, hidden behind a mask of composure and calmness.

They entered one of the empty buildings, collected a few things that looked like ancient wood or cloth and piled them together. The Master ignited the small heap with his laser screwdriver and nodded satisfied, before he went outside once more.

Roka really felt a little knackered, still, so she stayed, sat down cross-legged and just watched the dancing flames, let herself be lulled into a slight, comfortable trance for a while, contemplating whether or not to jump back a few centuries to find out what this place used to look like and what had happened to lead to its current state.

Some rustling made her look around only to feel someone behind her all of a sudden. Instinctively she tensed, but a chuckle made her relax immediately.

"You do seem a bit out of your mind today, little crow," the Master muttered into her ear. "It's only me."

"Oh, so having one of the most dangerous men in the universe sitting at my back is supposed to calm me?" she teased, but leaned comfily against his chest.

"Mhm... no, it really shouldn't." He chuckled some more and gingerly held his hands to her head, leaning it backwards and against him so he could look down into her eyes, his own displaying sincere affection. "You should be scared. You should run."

"Because you killed them?" Roka asked quietly and saw something fighting in his hazel eyes.

"No. You know how blood soaked my hands are," he mumbled, stroking his thumbs along her face. "Why isn't it frightening to you?"

It was an honest question, she could feel it. However, this time it wasn't asked because he wanted to scare her, like he loved to try. More as if he wanted to understand her, to know how it could be that even his own race had cast him out, had abused him for their war, had treated him like he hadn't any worth from the very moment of his birth, but she, a mere human, didn't ask or interfere. Even a hundred and fifty years ago, when they had first met, when she had been young and naive and he had threatened her life over and over again, had she not ran.

Instead she had asked to travel with him.

And now she had done so again. With the knowledge of who he was and that he would not change entirely, not ever, had she decided that his side was the place she wanted to be.

_Because when I feel your hearts, it calms me like nothing else, because when I look into your eyes I see the beauty of a storm tossed ocean. I see the stars, I see suns burning bright and warm. And all of this is you._

Roka looked at him, not daring to speak out any of these thoughts. Instead she closed her eyes and focused on the warmth he engulfed her with, the soothing doubled beat at her back.

A feeling of sorrow and concern washed over her mind in a sudden rush that made her eyes snap open again.

"It's alright," the Master said softly, his thumbs gingerly skimming her temples. He wasn't in her mind though, that she could feel. But she could also feel that he wanted to go there.

She decided to ask about their connection. Now was as good as any other time. The look in his eyes changed, got darker. Did he sense she wanted to know?

"Master... what..."

"Maybe I can shield you better," he dodged. "Those bots aren't only connected to your biological brain. I should be able to adjust a few things."

"I... uh... actually wanted to ask..."

"May I?"

_Damn you!_

Roka huffed and snuggled closer to him, unable to resist his gently mischievous smile. "Aren't we a gentleman today? You used to invade my mind whenever it pleased you."

His eyes turned dark and he bit his lower lip. If she wouldn't know it better she would say he was feeling guilty for having done so. His look didn't ask for forgiveness, though. "Not anymore. I don't want to hurt you."

"It... it never did," she mumbled perplex and also honestly.

The Master's smile changed and it was a warm, caring expression, one that made her heart race pleasantly and her cheeks warm up.

"Okay, try it," she mumbled and lowered her head to make herself as comfortable as possible against him.

He waited until she sat still, then his thumbs pressed a tiny little bight tighter against her temples, holding her head firm and secure. Roka felt a nudge in her mind, a light caress against her natural barriers and she opened up to him, felt his presence slip into hers like warm water, flowing through her consciousness, her memories, her very essence, nudging, stroking, moving parts inside her she couldn't name or even point at. His energy moved precise and fast, collected one thing, tossed another one to the side, sorted and then waved together a net of something new.

Roka felt the structure growing rapidly, felt the warm shield of energy in her head, fusing with the technology inside of it. Eventually it was done, she knew it. And still the Master moved deeper, carefully, hesitantly. She let him, curious about what he intended to do and also simply enjoying his presence in her mind. If only she were psychic too. But humans...

...actually _had_ the capacity for it. Dormant, unused, but definitely there, even though most of her species didn't know about it.

She had learned to set up mental barriers, had gained knowledge about how to control some parts of her body, to a certain degree. So why should she not be able to do a little more than that? Roka concentrated on the Master's energy, the way it felt and moved in her head and eventually reached out with her own mind for his. She wasn't sure what it would do. But the urge was just too strong, the wish to...

...touch him.

She gasped when his presence intertwined with her own, like streams of energy winding around each other. It was a sensation far beyond anything she had ever felt before, rushing through her head and her heart. It made her braver and a little shaky at the same time. Once more she nudged her mind against his own. He held her tighter, moved slowly along the streams of her energy, caressing it gently and finally tugged at a spot that made her gasp once more.

On some distant level Roka realized it was a barrier, a border that separated one part of her mind from another. One that reached far deeper into herself than what she even was conscious about. His energy traced around these edges, carefully, tenderly, searching for a way inside without hurting her.

Roka relaxed some more, tried to feel for this barrier, wanted to learn what it really was. A potential maybe. Something humans never used, but possessed nonetheless.

 _'You wouldn't understand,'_ the Master's voice whispered inside her head. _'I have no words to explain it to a human._ '

She gave him a mental eye-roll and tugged at his presence to try and stop him from poking around there any longer. A silly chuckle went through her mind and she felt something vibrating through her, like a command, an instruction. And suddenly she knew... without being able to grasp it, she simply knew what she had to do.

For a short moment she got aware of everything at once. Of her own body, almost shaking, her breaths, deep, her heartbeat, fast and excited. The Master held her tightly, his hands gliding from her temples, down her neck, his mouth on her ear, following his fingers and biting tenderly into her pulse. A small groan escaped Roka, she stiffened and relaxed at the same time, feeling his hands wander lower, below her jacket, carefully tugging out her shirt from her pants to slide under it.

The mental connection made her senses a thousand times more perceptive, his touch igniting every fibre of her body, letting her feel the heat pooling in her lower abdomen, his hands coming to a rest there, splayed out, his thumbs stroking over her skin.

"Let me have your mind," he breathed out against her neck.

Skin contact. Of course, he was a touch telepath after all. The temples were only the quickest way, but for something bigger he needed more contact, making Roka wonder what would happen if they were connected like this while... She heard him chuckle, remembered he could read her very thoughts.

There was a gentle nudge of his mind against hers, inviting, playful, teasingly. Roka fell back into her head, out of her body and she didn't hesitate for another second, responded to his mental touch. She felt the barrier faltering, not entirely, only enough. A gap, a tiny space from which she could reach out, let him inside and flood her entirely like a warm wave of sunlight.

She forgot where she was, about her body, about all of reality outside. There was only the blackness inside her head and the sparks of heat and energy in it, dancing, twirling, igniting her very being, burning her alive and completely until it was impossible to tell where she ended and he started, merged together in an ever blazing plasmatic fire. She reached out further, felt for him, carefully, then bolder, played with the foreign sensations and let him do the same in return. Strings of sparks and glowing dust, separating, touching, merging and entangling.

She felt him groan against the crook of her neck, felt his arms wrap around her more tightly. Only then did she get aware of reality again, her own ragged breathing, the heat inside her. Her whole body was slightly trembling, made her feel weak and as if she could fade at every second. But she held on to it, wanted _more_ and moaned softly protesting when his mind started to retreat slowly, disentangling from her own, his presence fading like a dwindling candle flame.

Only the fact that he held her so tightly prevented Roka from crying out at the loss of their connection. Her hands gripped his arms and she shivered when his breath brushed against her neck, followed by a light chuckle.

"You have no idea what you did there, have you?" he mumbled against her.

No, she really hadn't. But gosh, had it felt amazing. "You started it," she only breathed, though her head adapted a bright red when she realized that this probably had been something far beyond intimate.

"Mhm..." he murmured, still against her. "Didn't even know humans could do that." His nose tickled the small hair on her neck, his breath sending goose bumps down her spine. "I'm so..." He tenderly bit into her skin, making her gasp and grip his arms tighter, "...so tempted to abuse the situation. You humans have no idea what you're missing out."

She could hardly suppress another moan when his mind nudged at hers again, this time in a way that left no room for interpretation.

"W... wait, please," she ground out through gritted teeth. "Let me rest a little. That was exhausting."

"Is that so," he said softly, but retreated nonetheless and Roka let out an almost relieved sigh, already too worn out and tired to let this go any further.

"Isn't it for you?" she asked curiously.

"No. Not at all. But it's not surprising that it makes you tired." He chuckled a little and rested his chin on her crown, arms securely wrapped around her.

Now that she looked around Roka saw the fire had almost died down. She blinked confused, wondering how much time they had spent inside her head. Being connected to the Master in this way... it had felt like seconds, but had obviously lasted much longer.

She wanted to dwell in the lingering rests of those sensations some more, snuggled back at the Master. But a sudden shift in the air let her drop the thought. She straightened and the Master loosened his grip on her immediately. He, too, seemed alerted. Maybe it had even been him to feel the subtle shift first, and Roka had simply picked it up from him.

Both got to their feet, leaving the house and glancing around the crater and the buildings in search for whatever caused the strange sensation. Tiny red particles started to appear in the air, the same Roka had seen outside, and she stretched a hand out to touch them, although it seemed impossible, the particles too small.

Doors swung open, people rushed outside, from somewhere they heard a loud whaling sound that probably was an alarm of some kind. River was there, too, sprinting to Roka and the Master with a worried look on her face. It changed from concerned to sceptic, though, when she eyed the Time Lord.

"Oi! I've got nothing to do with this!" he whined.

"He's right" Roka seconded. "He was with me the whole time."

"That totally doesn't make it more believable." River shook her head but seemed to believe her anyway.

One of the keleperians slithered to a halt in front of them, gesturing towards some buildings in the opposite of the crater. "The crawlers got inside! Quick, hide!"

He hadn't properly finished the sentence when the first glowing eye-shaped machine appeared in their line of sight. The robots were only a little smaller than Roka and looked much more threatening in reality than as a hologram, their hull painted in black, the three legs covered in dulled, dark metal scales, mechanical claws at each end. Each and every movement produced a strange robotic noise, that rose to a crescendo as countless of them stormed into the settlement.

Roka tore out her knifes, the Master produced his laser screwdriver and River held up a gun, all of them ready to fight against those metal creatures, unwilling to give them any victory.

It was as the keleperian had suspected. The crawlers took no notice of the foreigners and only hunted the inhabitants of this place.

"Ha! That's too easy!" the Master laughed and shot down one robot after the other, executing almost a kind of dance while doing so. "Take that! And that! And you too!"

"Could you stop having so much bloody fun, you idiot!" River shouted and blasted another crawler into pieces. "They are hunting down those people!"

Roka was sure he knew that perfectly well, saw how he jumped over one eye, away from a group of inhabitants only to execute another few machines a good bit away from the exact people in danger, and not even flinching when a crawler rushed to them and brutally shoved them away with one arm.

The people that hadn't been fast enough were already lying dead on the ground. Some crawlers smashed themselves into the makeshift houses, dragged out people with their long arms and crushed their heads, twisted their bodies and tossed them aside like broken toys. Screams echoed all around them, the stench of hot metal and blood burned in Roka's nose. It made her choke, cough.

She stumbled backwards, drew her shirt over her nose and continued to whirl around amongst the robots, slicing them into pieces. Those knifes had been forged in the heat of a pulsar, or so she had been told. The truth didn't matter. They cut through their targets easily and that alone counted. This fight against the crawlers, it was like being a glitch again, woke memories of other fights where she had whirled through masses, without them being able to see what actually hit them.

It was an unfair advantage.

But like back then, it were simply too many. They wouldn't be able to destroy them all. And this wasn't a regular attack. An attack like this had never happened before, she realized as she saw the gravity of the damage.

"What the hell happened?!" Roka shouted towards River, trying to be heard over the noises of the battle.

"I don't know!" she called back while blasting three robots with a single, well aimed shot. "The trap outside is supposed to hold them back. It worked for centuries, they told me." Another few crawlers exploded into ember dust. Next to her the Master giggled happily at the destruction he was sowing among them with ease. "It must have failed somehow, maybe..."

The red particles in the air suddenly flared in the brightest, deepest red Roka had ever witnessed, followed by an ear-piercing shriek that resounded all around them at once. The crawlers began to tremble, to jitter and tumble, curled themselves together like dying spiders.

"It's this crystal," the Master told and pointed down into the depths. "That guy down there is activating it."

Roka and River glanced down, seeing the huge thing glow in the same red colour that ran through itself and the veins around like crimson blood. But...

"I don't see anyone," Roka told.

"No, me neither. The crystal must be activating itself somehow," the curly woman seconded.

To their surprise the Master looked confused and cast another look down. His arm pointed to one side of the crystal. "Are you blind? There!"

The women looked at each other, then back down and to where the Master was pointing. And really, where they had seen nothing before there now stood a figure. From this distance it was impossible to tell if it was one of the inhabitants, but they stood there, one arm stretched out and a hand pressing against the crystal.

The screams from the robots had stopped by now. Those that weren't destroyed or damaged by whatever the crystal was doing to them fled the scene, ran back to where they had come from.

"It seems to work," Roka mumbled and glared down at the figure again. Her stomach felt sick all of a sudden and she had to lean against some debris, eying the last fleeing crawlers and the relieved faces around her.

Everything was fine again.

But it felt so horribly wrong.

Through the smouldering remains of robots and corpses she could see the surviving keleperians return from their hideouts, carefully approaching the chasm to take a look at the crystal. Some children curiously observed the dead crawlers, others sank down in front of their lost loved ones and wept.

The red particles started to pulsate, faded in an out like a heartbeat.

Got stronger.

Roka's chest tightened painfully, the stronger the glowing got. She gasped and swayed, letting out a shaky whimper. In an instant the Master was at her, caught her before her knees could give way. All joy from the fight had left his face.

"What's with her?" River demanded and sunk to her haunches next to him.

"I don't know! Shut up!"

He hurried to press his thumbs against her temples, entered Roka's mind without hesitation and searched for any kind of overload that might be occurring due to the crystal or whatever else. She somehow knew he wouldn't find such a thing. It felt completely different to the last time. So...

...familiar.

A second later he retreated, dropped his forehead against hers and let out a growl.

"Master," she mumbled through the fog in her head. "There's... I don't know..."

She had to tell him, had to warn them. Something was wrong, was happening, shouldn't happen. It gnawed on her, hurt. This wasn't right. She had to... had to... didn't even know, couldn't remember.

It was only _wrong_.

"It's not in your head," the Master growled. "Nothing is!"

"Then what is wrong with her?!" River wondered and reached for Roka's arm.

The Master pushed her away. "Don't touch her, human!" he spat.

The red pulsated more violently, bright and brutally. It hurt, made Roka unable to speak. It was resonating within her, as if it was ripping at every atom at once. She could _feel_ the crystal, could hear it vibrating through her body and mind. But why did it only affect _her_?

"It's that person down there, who's causing this," the Master concluded with a sour look, swiped Roka into his arms and carried her to the nearest of the makeshift houses.

Her hands reached out for his jacket, grabbed whatever she could reach of it and clung to him, cuddling her head to his chest. It didn't ease the strain on her body, but if she had to suffer, then at least close to him. As close as she could get.

Because he was the one thing that had been missing all this time in her journey through eternity.

"Someone's down there?" one of the keleperians asked, having obviously overheard their conversation. "But no one has ever found a way to the heart."

"I haven't seen anyone," River answered, her voice echoing faintly in Roka's head.

It felt wrong. _No one_ was down there.

"You saw him just a moment ago!" the Master grunted. "Don't play dumber than you are."

"What? What the hell are you talking about? It's so not the time for jokes or games, Master," the curly woman protested and followed him inside the building. "If you have seen anything, anything at all, then you have to tell!"

_No one is down there._

The pain in Roka's chest got worse, her head felt as if it would explode every second. How she stayed conscious was a mystery to her. She tried to mutter his name, wanted to feel it on her lips. It gave her a sense of safety she so desperately needed right now.

Even inside the house there were red glowing particles filling the air. In another time and another situation it would have been a magical sight, but now it only caused unease within everyone. A way too familiar unease. Roka clutched the Master's jacket tighter, but he lay her down on a bed and tried to loosen her hands from him.

He would _leave_. She _knew_ it. He would vanish and be _gone_ from her life forever. And it hurt so much more than whatever tore at her.

"No," she whispered desperately. "Don't... don't leave me."

His eyes looked down at her in puzzlement, his hand curling over hers, warm and securely.

"Don't be silly. As if I would ever do that again." He took her hands into his, carefully lay them over her chest and stood. "But I'll go and have a good, one might say deadly, chat with that fella at the crystal."

She lacked the strength to hold him back, felt her body shaking and get weaker by the second. He wouldn't listen. But he had to. He just had to.

Something shifted in the air again, all of them felt it, and within the blink of an eye the crimson particles paled to a bright blue, then white. And then they vanished as if they had never been there in the first place.

_No one is down there._

As the pain subsided, Roka finally felt her consciousness fading. Her thoughts slipped sideways, falling into the abyss of darkness.

No one was down there.

No one.

Except...

...there was.


	9. I - Wrath and light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found the most sexy image of Simm wearing glasses. Enjoy! UwU

Deadly, hot burning wrath obscured his vision as the Master left the building. He grabbed one of the weirdly looking inhabitants, tore at his arm so he would turn around, the light-blue skin glowing softly as if to show his surprise.

"What's the quickest way to that bloody crystal?" the Master growled and pointed towards the crater.

The keleperian tried to get free, his eyes displaying a satisfying amount of fear as his snout opened to let out a scared noise. "N... no one gets down. There... there isn't a way."

"Bollocks!"

The Master pushed the creature away and produced his tablet from his jacket. Seconds later he cursed nastily as it got clear that his TARDIS' remote control still wasn't responding. He got back to the makeshift house, purposefully striding to Roka's bed. She was still unconscious, but at least she didn't seem to be in pain anymore. That was something. But the Master was eager to inflict this pain to the one who had caused it, so he grabbed her wrist and detached her Vortex Manipulator from it to strip it on himself.

"Where do you think you're going?" River asked, her face showing disapproval.

"None of your damn business, ape," the Master snarled back and pressed some buttons. "Just making sure someone gets what they deserve."

"Master..." Her voice was careful now, almost considerate.

"What?!"

"No one but you has seen anyone down there."

He huffed and almost laughed. "I have no idea what stupid game you're playing with me. Actually... I don't care. It won't matter as soon as I'm done."

He gave her a last, disgusted grin and was about to teleport himself downwards, but then his finger stopped right above the button and instead he reached out for River, tore her from the chair and pushed her so hard against the next wall that her head thudded loudly against the concrete behind.

"You're coming with me," he growled so deeply it was almost inaudible.

"Oh, you sodding... Ow! That hurt!" the woman complained and awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. "Do you ever think for a single second in your life before doing anything?"

A nasty grin was his only answer at first, but he had to make sure this ape wouldn't step in his way, so he grabbed her collar tighter, leaned closer to her face and put on his most menacing stare.

"I still have no idea who the hell you actually are. So, yes, I _am_ thinking." His eyes bore into hers, a small itch scraping his pride when the curly one didn't start to shake in fear. He only met the annoying ones, as it seemed. It didn't matter. "I'm not going to leave you with Roka and risk you doing something to her. So if you want to continue your meagre existence, obey and shut your mouth."

With that he released her collar and grabbed her wrist, before he finally hit the teleport button.

Downward. Since he didn't have coordinates it was the only direction he had, and when the pull of the Vortex Manipulator stopped they found themselves in a corridor that was completely overgrown by the crystal's glowing veins.

River tore her hand away and probably scowled or whatever dark expression she might deem fitting for him. The Master really didn't care right now.

" _Doing something to her?_ Are you completely nuts?" There was a sigh. "I'm _not_ your enemy. And I'm certainly not _like_ you. I take no pride in hurting defenceless people."

"Pride?" He huffed and shook his head, while trying to cut a way through the veins with his laser screwdriver. "Neither do I. It's usually horribly boring if people don't fight back, don't you think?"

"Ugh! Of course..."

Well, it _was_ fun when it came to earth and meant to cause the Doctor pain... but that was none of that woman's business. The Master continued to ignore her, pointedly disregarding the curses she threw at him. Although, he had to admit, some of them were quite colourful and funny.

But his attention was still on the veins, which were a weird mixture or organic and crystalline in nature. The light pulsated through them like blood, tinting the narrow corridor in shades of purple and blue. He found his way through the mess without having to remove too many veins. Better that way. Who knew what damaging them would cause, and he sure as hell wasn't eager to get buried here.

"Will you shut up for a second?" he snapped eventually. "I don't care the slightest about what you think of me, ape."

"Yeah, I figured," River sighed and finally went quiet. For a few seconds at least. "There, we made it out."

"Oh, really? Would have never ever seen that giant hole, the lights and that huge crystal without you!"

If it weren't for his focus on the person out there he would have surely hurt that woman by now. However, he wasn't willing to get distracted. He needed to find out what exactly it was the guy did to hurt Roka, and how he could prevent it.

He had to shield his eyes with his hand at first to endure the blinding glow the crystal emanated. From down here it was almost unbearably bright, especially for a Time Lord's eye, even though it was still a good distance away. River didn't seem to be affected as much with her underdeveloped senses. Though, even she held her hand up.

Since the colours of the huge crystal had reverted back to normal the Master hadn't thought to actually find the intruder still in place, and had hoped to get a trace to follow them instead. Now he saw it wouldn't be so hard to get a hold of them.

"See?" River taunted from the side, "no one here."

He turned slightly towards her, put his index finger in front of his mouth and nodded towards the centre of the crystal. It was surrounded by the thickest veins, building an almost delicate, throbbing, crown around it.

And at its foot sat a small figure, clad in one of the dark blue silken robes of the keleperians, a hood drawn deep into their face and a silken scarf covering their nose and mouth. The figure sat on his knees in what could be a meditation pose if it weren't for the rapid breathing and the occasional trembling of his body. Colours ran through the skin of the being as if it had replaced their blood, visible even through the thin cloth of the robe.

The Master pulled out his laser screwdriver and aimed it at the person. "You really can't see him?" he hissed towards River.

She followed his stretched out arm and the Master could see her eyes slowly widen as she finally got aware of the intruder. "What?" she mumbled. "But, just a second ago... Wait! What are you doing?!"

"What do you think?" the Master growled and purposefully strode over to the person. "Getting some answers and then probably inflict a little pain."

River hurried to catch up, anger in her voice as she tried to hold him back. "No, stop! Can't you see? It's none of the keleperians. Way too small. It might even be a child!"

"So what?" The intruder made no move whatsoever, even though he had to have heard them by now. The strange state he was in seemed paralyzing. "Makes them still powerful enough to have done whatever they did to the crystal."

But now he saw it too, felt it. A different feeling than the inhabitants had, even further distorted by the light glowing in his veins. It was such a small person, although that didn't necessarily mean it was a child. And he had hurt Roka, badly. There was _no_ excuse for that.

Driven by newly blazing rage the Master flung himself towards the person, forgot about his screwdriver and simply wanted to put his hands around that throat, wanted to inflict pain and other physical damage in the most direct way possible.

The trembling stopped.

And with it time came to a halt. Literately. The Master could feel the strands of it slowing down to a single frozen moment. Impossibility.

It only lasted for a second, finally snapped back like a rubber band and reverted to normal. In the same moment the intruder raised his head, revealing white glowing eyes in the small slit between scarf and hood. The light bled out of them like dust, staying in place whenever he moved and producing a surreal pattern of light-threads all around the figure.

He was fast. A lot faster than anything the Master would have expected. Swaying cloth, traces of light and the feeling of something shifting in the air, it all was woven together to a net of distraction and... power. The figure held up his hand, pushed it towards the Master and shot out a hot beam of light against his chest.

The impact was painful, almost indented his ribcage and let him gasp, but not fall. Cursing and panting he hurled around, remembered his laser screwdriver and shot at the...

The beam only hit the ground, let a vein explode into tiny light particles.

The intruder, however, had vanished as if he had never existed in the first place.

  
oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo

The sound of shuffling clothes woke her up. All the strange pain that had paralyzed her before had now vanished and Roka could breathe freely again. Only the sensation of wrongness remained, made her lay still for another while and focus on it. Something was missing. Something important. But her mind wouldn't get a hold of it, so she finally opened her eyes and took a look around.

The house they were in was as rundown as every other she had seen, light shimmered through cracks inside, reminding her of the huge crystal in the depths. There was dust and debris, maybe from the previous attack, maybe because the house had been abandoned for a while. Probably not, when she considered she was lying in an actual bed, and the dwellers surely wouldn't leave one of those unused. The previous owner might be one of the victims of the attack.

Her head turned and found a small fire inside a makeshift concrete oven. It tinted the interior in eerie orange shapes that fought against the blue and purple from outside. Next to it was a wooden chair and on it sat the Master, slightly bent forwards with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on top of his interlaced fingers. A tablet lay on his lap and he wore his glasses, the lenses bending the flickering from the fire to hide his eyes in a dance of light.

The image was calm, but Roka could feel a sense of worry radiating from him. Worry and anger and a lot of puzzlement over many things at once. Again she wondered why she was even able to pick up on this, or whether she was only imagining it, simply projecting emotions into what she saw.

His head turned slightly, left his folded hands so his eyes could rest on Roka now. He certainly was brooding over something, that she could see clearly. At least his eyes lit up a little when he noticed her awake.

Roka had to smile and let out a huffing chuckle.

"What's so funny?" the Master asked calmly, the worry never leaving his eyes.

"You know...actually..." She sat up and ruffled through her tousled hair to get them back in order, before she threw another mischievous look in his direction. "Those glasses make you look forbiddingly sexy."

Finally his lips split into a grin and he started to laugh. "Glad, you noticed," he smugly answered and stood to head over and slump down next to her on the bed. His eyes wandered over Roka, searching for any sign of harm.

"I'm okay again," she mumbled and cast her eyes down. "But I think... we should leave."

"Why?"

"I... don't know. It feels strange. This whole place. Somehow it resonates with me, if that makes any sense."

With a grunt the Master dropped to his back and stared silently at one of the cracks in the ceiling. Roka noticed his tie was missing, the first few buttons of his black dress shirt opened.

And then those god damn glasses!

She really needed to find some time for her meditations, she decided and flopped onto her back next to him, then turned slightly and stretched out her hands to carefully take off the glasses. He followed her every movements with his eyes, slight amusement twinkling inside their depths. With a smirk Roka pushed the glasses up her own nose and immediately felt a little dizzy.

"Whoa, they are a bit strong, aren't they?" She blinked at his slightly blurred figure. "Didn't know you have bad eyes."

"It's different for Time Lords." His voice spoke soft and he turned to his side to fully face her, his head resting in his palm. "The spectrum of our vision is... I wouldn't say better. It's just... different. We can focus much better. The glasses aren't _necessary_ , it's just like... resting your feet on a pillow."

While he talked his hand reached up, traced the frame of the eyewear and moved to her face, tenderly slid down her cheeks and her neck, up again and along her jaw to her chin, where he slightly pushed a little to make her look at his smirk. "You look cute with them. Much like that little nerd you are."

"Hey!" she playfully slapped his hand away. "That's not how compliments work."

"Not? And there I made such an effort."

He chuckled and reached over to pick the glasses from her nose and place them on a piece of concrete next to the bed. When he turned back he somehow managed to simultaneously slide a little closer, his head now resting close to hers, their noses almost touching. Roka made no attempt to widen the distance, stayed exactly where she was and simply watched him, his features, his eyes.

Those hazel depths that seemed to hold all the stars of the universe in them, once filled with a wild madness and now calm, but equally dangerous and sad and also gentle at the same time. None of the cruelty he was capable of was visible in them right now, none of the coldness he displayed towards anyone else.

"You're such a strange man, Master," she whispered.

"Took you long to notice." His voice was still calm, not even teasing.

His calmness seemed to wash over Roka, she felt it as if it was her own, or was it? She slid her hand towards him, placed it over his hearts to feel the alien beat under her fingertips. Her eyes never left his, trying to read his thoughts from them. It wasn't possible. He was as much of a mystery than ever.

"There must be something wrong with me," she uttered, her fingers idly playing with the buttons of his shirt. "I know what you've done. I know what you're capable of, and that you seldom care."

She felt his fingers on her arm, slowly tracing down from her shoulder to the hand that wasn't busy with his shirt. There was no hurry in his movement, no urgency. The fire in his eyes was a soothingly flickering candle, meant to assure safety, a complete opposite of what his very being radiated. Roka's breath caught in her throat, her heart suddenly hammering wildly against her ribcage. She fell... fell into the depths of his darkness. Of her own. There was no way she could deny it any longer, no reason to hide it from herself, or from him.

"You are death," she breathed.

"Yeah." He traced further down her hand, interlaced his fingers with hers. His voice was quiet, soft, sounded almost trance like. "And still you're not running. Still you're not scared. Will you ever be, my silly little crow?"

"How could I?" She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in, let the air rest in her lungs and exhaled slowly. "Once I fell in love with the Grim Reaper himself." Another breath, their eyes locked, his filling with an almost unnoticeable uncertainty, hers with a kind of playful resignation as the shadow of a smile whizzed over her face. "Twice now."

Under her hand she felt his hearts missing a single beat, saw his eyes widen ever so slightly, the truth of her words sinking into him as slow as sand through an hourglass. His fingers left her hand, both of his arms reached out, pulling her tightly against him and she nuzzled into his chest. His chin rested on top of her crown, the hand on her back clutching at the cloth of her hoodie. The sheer tenderness of his movements and the way he held her made Roka tremble for a moment, overwhelmed her together with the warmth and affection pouring from his mind into hers, and this time she was certain not to imagine it.

She didn't care. Nothing was important in this very moment. And so fully lost in each other they somehow drifted into a slumber.

  
oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo

River roamed the settlement, restlessly reaching out a helping hand to the inhabitants. Only because she had been raised in this corrupted way didn't mean she had to be a bad person altogether. There were many things in her life she regretted having done, not all of them so out of her control like the... _occurrence_ with the Doctor.

Several hours went by like this and still they hadn't gotten rid of even half the debris, hadn't retrieved all corpses yet, hadn't made sure each and every of the crawlers really was no threat anymore. It irritated River immensely, for some reason, that the Master was nowhere to be seen. Okay, she hadn't awaited for him to actually help... But it still annoyed her. Probably only because of the rough treatment she had to endure earlier.

Gods, she would slap him at least ten more time just for that!

She also was wondering what in the universe he was planning with Roka. That girl seemed spectacularly ordinary in comparison to the Time Lord. Sure she was amazingly fast with her knifes, using her small size to her full advantage, but other than that... River couldn't imagine why she was travelling with the Master, less why he let her. And a lot less why he had been so enraged all of a sudden.

As if one like him would actually _care_ for another person. River huffed to herself and decided to kick his arse a little, just for the fun of it. It was astonishingly easy to rile him up, and forbiddingly much fun.

With a teasing smirk she opened the door to the makeshift house he had vanished into, last time she had seen him. A fire was burning and she had to look twice to realize the room wasn't empty. She hadn't awaited the sight before her. Not at all.

It was the perfect opposite to what she had witnessed down at the crystal. Rage and hatred had hovered around the Master like a dark cloud, then. And now he was lying next to Roka, on his back, one hand under his head, the other holding the girl. She had cuddled up to him, sleeping soundly while having one hand curled over his chest.

The Master was awake. His eyes shot open and he turned his head to cast a dark and foreboding look at River, making clear he would rip her into tiny pieces should she possess the audacity to wake Roka. To her his eyes wandered next, and his expression changed to that of admiration and a weird softness River would have never awaited to see on a man like him.

Hastily she left the building, turned and dropped her back against the cold concrete. The scene had pretty much answered all of her previous questions. Not the one about why he had chosen especially this girl, but still...

She felt a nasty sting in her chest, one of jealousy and maybe some guilt at envying those two for what they shared. One such simple moment together... it was something _she_ would never have with the Doctor. They always met in a storm, a flurry of action and excitement. But never like this, never just calm and...

River sighed and closed her eyes. It was how it was. There was no way to change it. There was no way to change the _Doctor_. But wasn't that one of the reasons she loved him, after all?

Something shifted in the air. River opened her eyes again, wondering if she had imagined it. Around her were people rushing by, searching and scrambling.

Almost all of them stopped in what they were doing, dozens of heads turning upwards to the tiny red particles that slowly started to fill the air.


	10. I - Secrets in the darkness

The small keleperian wept over the still body of his mother. Her eyes stared into eternity, her robes splayed around her in a way that made her look so beautiful; surrounded by debris and the smoking remains of broken crawlers. As a heavy silence started to fill the air the child raised his head, blinked. Dust and smoke clouded the air, intensifying the iridescent shine of millions of red glowing particles that appeared all around them. He could feel the despair of his kind shivering through the aether, the knowing that they wouldn't survive a second attack.

River felt tears of anger in her eyes. She had no idea what was happening, but why did it have to be now? Now when they didn't even had the time to reinforce their home, to bury their dead. It was beyond unfair.

Next to her the broken door swung open, let orange light bleed outside as the Master rushed past her, Roka in tow. The girl looked a little puzzled and also a bit tired.

"You okay?" River asked her, remembering how she had reacted to the red lights previously.

Roka nodded and shook her head at the same time. "It's not as bad as before. Barely hurts." Her eyes wandered to the crater. "I don't think the same thing is happening as before. It feels... different."

"This time he won't escape," the Master growled and reached for his wrist where the Vortex Manipulator was still attached.

"Who?" the girl asked, making the Master turn to her with a deep scowl on his face.

He pointed towards the crater. "That guy down there we saw before? Don't you remember?"

"What guy?" River asked, and her question seemed to hit the Time Lord completely off guard. His face dropped and his gaze wandered between the two women.

"Are you kidding me?" He pointed a finger at River. "You saw them when we went to the crystal!"

"I saw... oh..." As if through a fog River suddenly remembered what he was talking about. "Right... we also saw them shortly before Roka collapsed."

Roka rubbed her eyelids, trying to focus on the situation. Everything still felt so utterly wrong. And maybe she also knew why, now. But if her theory was true, then why...

"I don't think we have to fear another attack, though," she mumbled, "Whatever they were doing at the crystal seemed to harm the robots. Actually... let's have a look at them."

"You feel up to it?" the Master asked, raising an eyebrow and eyed the pit once more, as if he wanted nothing more badly than to jump down and murder the intruder.

"Oh, shut it. I'm not as frail as I might look."

"You just said you're in pain." River followed them as Roka strode to one of the broken robots.

"Mhm..." She knelt down and got out one of her knifes to open the metal case. Sparks were sizzling out of holes and smoke rose up in thin streaks. "Nothing too bad. My migraines usually are worse."

"Just tell if anything changes, alright?" The curly woman sighed and cast a look at the Master. His look indicated he thought as less of Roka's conviction as herself.

"Mhm... help me here, will ya?" She tore at a metal hatch that sat in the middle of the machine, surrounded by cables and sparkling electric parts. "Guess in here could be their energy source."

"Quite the tinkerer, aren't you?" River remarked with a smirk when she saw how precisely the girl had dismantled the machine in that short time.

"Just lots of practice." Roka smiled up at her and pointed at the core, then glanced up at the Master. "Your laser screwdriver might open it. Don't want to go there with my knife. It's not precise enough."

He dropped to his heels next to her and lasered open the small hatch. "What are you hoping to find?"

"A way to stop them. All at once, preferably."

"Want to play the hero?" he remarked with a sly grin. "Not enough anymore to leave your crow symbols everywhere?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "No. Some people simply enjoy helping."

"Not that _you_ would ever understand," River remarked sarcastically.

"Ah, and you're not causing enough trouble on your own? Prisoner?" the Master quipped back, precisely lasering open the metal.

"Stop fighting, you two," Roka groaned and carefully opened the now broken hatch. "If you're lucky the stuff in here might be useful for your TARD... whoa!" Her hand twitched back from the machine.

Both, the Master and River glanced inside to take a look on their own, their eyes widening fascinated as they saw the blue glowing orb inside.

"Is that..." The curly one started and stretched a hand out, but didn't quite dare to touch anything.

Roka nodded and reached inside, instead. "Yeah, I think it's part of the crystal."

Carefully she poked the glowing core with her knife, but nothing happened, so she used a finger to do the same. A weird tingling shot through her immediately and she winced back. "Didn't hurt," she assured hastily and reached with her whole hand inside to enclose the small sphere in it and rip it out.

The tingling got stronger the longer she held the sphere, her head started to get a little dizzy, but nothing more happened. Roka held it nearer to her eyes, saw delicate veins spread all over the surface. In the back the robot collapsed and simply fell apart as is someone had cut the threats of a marionette.

"Now that's interesting," River mused.

"It is, indeed," the Master seconded, glaring hungrily at the orb in Roka's hand. "That's a mighty power source! Let's collect a few more and then vanish from here." He chuckled and glanced around to make out where the next machine was lying around. "Not in any helping mood anyway."

"Tell me when you ever are," River grumbled, "I'd love to mark that moment in my journal."

"Sure, I'll phone you when that happens." The Master poked out his tongue at the woman and marched away, laser screwdriver ready.

The women followed, watching as he quickly dismantled a few crawlers and collected their cores in his infinite pockets. After a while she started to do the same, eager to get a sample for herself.

"That's no crystal, though," he eventually told, eyeing one of the spheres closely. "Guess it could be made of those roots, or maybe... Roka..."

"Huh, what?" She had peeked down into the crater and now glanced back at the Master.

He nodded to her hand that still held the sphere she had gathered. Her eyes followed his movement and she inhaled surprised when she saw what he meant. The veins in her skin had started to glow in a blue light, faint and barely visible, but definitely there.

"Oh, whoops. Shouldn't have carried it around..." Roka pocketed the sphere and glared at her hand. "Still doesn't hurt or anything. Don't worry."

"That's strange," River tossed in and took Roka's hand to inspect it closer. "We were all carrying them, but you're the only one showing a reaction. And if those core's are only from the roots, then..." She let go of Roka and took out something from her jacket. "Take this." The woman held a small, blue glowing crystal towards her. "I took a sample from below."

The Master snatched it out of River's hands before Roka could even react. "Oh no, you don't!" he hissed. "You want to see how strong she'd react to the source, don't you?"

"Well, I don't react. And neither do you, obviously."

"Come on, hand it over," Roka sighed and stretched out her hand. "If anything happens, you're here. Just take it away, then." When the Master didn't budged she nudged him with her elbow and wriggled her fingers towards the small crystal. "Don't make a fuss. I'm tough. I can't even d..."

She stopped herself, blinked perplex, puzzled, confused. Why would she say that? It wasn't even true. If it were, the Master couldn't have...

"Always putting your life in danger. It's horribly annoying, you know that?" he grumbled, but handed her the thing.

"Don't get me started with what's annoying about _you_ , Master," Roka retorted with a sweet smile and grabbed the crystal.

She let it lie in her open hand, watching the blue light pulsate slow and steady, like a heartbeat. No... like _her_ heartbeat. Gradually it adapted to her pulse, then the light seeped into her skin, her veins, crept into her hand and a tiny little bit up her arm. Roka pulled up her sleeve so she and the others could see it.

"It... doesn't hurt," she explained at their worried expressions. "Only tingles a little." Her hand closed around the crystal and it seemed to increased the effect, although only a little. The light in her veins moved up to her shoulder and vanished into her sleeve again.

The Master grabbed the zipper of her jacket and opened it slightly, earning himself a scowl from its owner. "Oh, come on. I know what you look like topless." He grinned from ear to ear and tugged at her hoodie and shirt to take a look at her shoulder.

"I won't even ask," River mumbled from behind.

"I can assure you, she very much enjoyed it," the Master remarked and grinned impishly at Roka.

She tried to roll her eyes at him, she really did. Instead, though, she let out a breathy laugh and looked down at herself. The light had spread to her chest, not much further, the pattern seeping into the round, Gallifreyan symbol that had been cut into her so long ago. Almost all of it was glowing in the same bluish light now and the sight stirred something in her. A quick glance at the Master's face showed that he, too, was amazed by it, his fingers slowly tracing over the old scar. His name.

"I wanted you to be mine," he uttered, only audible to Roka, his eyes burning with a possessive fire.

She moved up her free hand, lay it over the Master's and locked eyes with him. If it was due to the crystal's energy of if he initiated it she would never learn, but suddenly Roka felt his mind slipping into her own. For a short moment the world stopped existing and they were alone in this tiny space only they could occupy, back on the remaining patch of asteroid, all of reality around them gone, erased the moment he had killed her, the paradox that was her existence ripping everything apart, spreading golden cracks into the darkness, swallowing everything. For the first time she saw it from his perspective, saw how everything went black, felt the pain of being torn apart because of the proximity to her dead body, the centre of the dissolving paradox. And she heard... suddenly she heard... drums. As loud as never before, strong and furious, roaring inside his head.

And then they were gone again. Like everything else. Nothing existed anymore, nothing ever had.

_'Tell me... If you never existed, how could you have ever died?'_

A paradox resolving itself, the Master the only living thing that would ever remember the moment. And she had somehow still been alive, and through their connection she felt the disbelieve, the faint hope, the desperation he had felt in that very second, when he had drawn her closer to dance with her in the silence of oblivion, until everything had gone back to normal. Everything but herself, now free from the glitch, without initially knowing it.

The memory faded, Roka found herself back in reality again, sensing that only a second had gone by, unnoticed by River. His hand was still on her chest, hers above it. He smiled possessively, moved his fingers to shake her off and traced the scar on her chest, his mouth forming a silent _'mine'_.

It was _not_ the situation to react to him in _any_ way. Still, his touch sent a shiver through her, making her breath hitch. Maybe it was because of the foreign energy, too. Roka closed her eyes and tried to forget about the Master for a second and instead concentrated on the light in her veins.

"There are... images," she mumbled. "I think it... it's the city above."

No, this weren't images the light _revealed_. It had only _reawakened_ them from deep within her, brought back into her memory from so long ago.

Roka winced and opened her hand, letting the crystal drop to the ground.

That wasn't possible!

"We need to go up!" she demanded and pointed at the Master's wrist. "Give my Vortex Manipulator back. I know where to go."

"What?" River tossed in puzzled. "We can't go anywhere. If those crawlers attack again-"

"Then we won't make a difference anyway," the Master grunted. "It was fun, but I'm not one for pointless activities."

"Pointless?!" River snapped. "We would save lives!"

"Yeah..." He bent down a little and glared into her eyes with a menacing grin. "Pointless."

Roka sighed. "Stop fighting. They can't come in."

"How do you know?" River asked. "Did the crystal show you?"

Roka slowly shook her head and her eyes wandered down to her chest and her arm where the rest of the light was still pulsating through her. The crystal lay on the ground, tempting her to pick it up and reawaken the rest of the memories in her head. But she didn't want them. There had to be a reason to forget them. A good one.

"The... person down there. They are... connecting to the crystal." Could it be? It made no sense. "And the crystal... it seems to generate some kind of field around this place. The crawlers get confused, so they won't come here." What had been the point? Again she eyed the small crystal, afraid of what it might reveal, scared of whatever she had decided to forget. She looked up at her companions, seeing the unspoken questions in their eyes. "There is a generator above. It creates a field, and... and..." And it had to be active? Inactive?

Again she shook her head.

"What's this about?" the Master wanted to know, his voice almost commanding, but still soft, as if he could sense her distress.

"I... I'm not sure," Roka admitted and then whispered, "I'm not sure I want to know."

He grunted, but finally handed her the Vortex Manipulator. With a thankful nod she put in on her wrist and concentrated on the image she had seen previously. And really, a second later the device spit out coordinates. Roka wasn't sure whether to be scared or to be relieved about this.

A hand slid into hers, making her look up at the Master. He clearly wasn't happy with her reticence, but by no means would he let her go alone. From the corners of her eyes she could see River raising an eyebrow. It must be strange seeing a man like him, who had committed the unspeakable, caring so much for another person.

"Three people, one Vortex Manipulator. Not a good idea," River mumbled, stemmed her fists into her hips and eyed the two.

"No one wants you around anyway," the Master said sweetly.

"I'm more torn between hoping you won't harm Roka and being afraid what leaving you alone here would cause."

"Stop fighting," Roka grumbled again, feeling like having to deal with children here. "River, I can trust _him_ a lot more than you. At least I know who he is and that he won't harm me. We'll be back soon."

With that, and especially without waiting for a response, she hit the button on her Vortex Manipulator and teleported them away to the surface.

The sudden change in temperature hit her a little unprepared, making her shiver. Snow was falling down lightly, covering the ground and the crumbling buildings around them. Compared to the ruins below this place seemed so tranquil, with all the gigantic carcasses of buildings rising into the air around them. A silent grave, last witness of a lost civilisation.

Contrasting the atmosphere a flash of amusement went through her like a small electric shock. Roka blinked perplex before she realized it hadn't come from herself. And when she turned, the Master wore a toothless wide smile on his face.

"I like that you trust me so much," he stated and let his teeth show.

"Don't get yourself high on it," Roka grumbled back and released his hand. "It's only because I know where I stand with you. Doesn't mean there is more trust than necessary." She shot him a quick squinting look. "Especially not since you won't tell me why the heck I sometimes sense what you're feeling."

"Do you?" The smile didn't drop.

"Oh, don't pretend!" She turned and wandered towards one building which should have the generator inside.

There was no response, not that she would have awaited one, not really. And right now it didn't matter anyway. Inside the building was darkness, produced by tons of snow covering all cracks in the concrete, but Roka found her way almost instantly, leading them deep into a labyrinth of what once were rooms and corridors, now broken down and sometimes hard to manoeuvre. Finally they reached a pile of rubble that they had to tidy up a little before they could enter the black room behind. Roka shone her flashlight around, satisfied to find a huge machine in here, with hundreds of buttons and levers and dials.

"Okay... that might take a few minutes." She handed the flashlight to the Master and took a closer look at the machine. Her hands moved almost on their own, finding the right buttons to power on the huge device and letting it fill the air with a gentle hum.

"You shouldn't scold me for having secrets," the Master mumbled, shining the light in different directions.

"I didn't." Another few buttons, a lever. The displays changed numbers, needles went this and that direction. "Doesn't mean I don't want to know."

"How about you tell me first?"

"'bout what?"

She suddenly got grabbed at her shoulder and spun around, the flashlight blinded her and she had to cover her eyes with one hand for a second. Then the light moved and she followed it until a small piece of wall got illuminated, showing the etched-in figure of... a crow.


	11. I - Forgotten past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny how I wrote the first draft for this somewhere around new year... But now that I post it, it's so frighteningly up to date with my current mood... Sadly I have no Master with me to chase away the dark clouds... But you're not here to hear me rambling. ;P  
> Have fun with the chapter and stay safe!

"You've been here already," the Master stated matter-of-factly.

Roka gulped and slowly nodded.

"Why didn't you tell when we arrived?"

"I... didn't remember," she uttered and turned her head away. "That piece of crystal River just handed me... it... uh... you could say, triggered some memory snippets. And... doesn't matter. Let me activate this. It might keep them save."

" _Might_..." He chuckled and released her shoulder. "You have no idea if this will do anything, right?"

"Kind of... no." She returned to the machine and flicked some more switches. "I did activate this thing a few times. But I don't know _why_ anymore. It was... a test, I think. No... no... I... I _de_ activated it." Her hands stilled and fell to her sides eventually.

"Doesn't bother me what becomes of those creatures down there, really," the Master remarked dryly and folded his arms over his chest, the look on his face serious. "But with the bots in your head it's peculiar that you don't remember this place... _at all_. Means, your own mind is blocking the memory. And that's never a good thing."

"No shit," she grumbled irritated and puzzled over the exact function of the machine in front of her. "I think, I _chose_ to forget. I... it's faint, but... doesn't matter. It's not the case anymore."

"What isn't?" he demanded, but got no answer.

When she hit another set of buttons something finally got activated. The machine let out a low pitched noise, then stilled before a deep rumbling wave went through the ground like the roar of an ancient beast, shook the building violently and let dust and debris rain down on their heads. Red particles started to appear, dancing forebodingly in the air and from right outside they could hear the sounds of machines coming to life, metal legs clinking and rushing over more metal and concrete and snow. One glowing eye peeked inside the room they were in, the legs holding the robot steady within the crack so it hovered there like an ugly spider. It retreated with disgustingly rapid movements, followed by what sounded like thousands of its kind.

There was a shift in the air, a tearing in Roka's mind and body. She gasped and held onto the control table, her breath slowly stabilizing. There was no pain... yet, so she turned around and hurried to get the machine working.

"We can't leave," the Master stated from behind, sounding worried and also surprised. "The crystal is active again. And that thing is a mix of atron energy and kefral matter, probably with a few other things as well... couldn't get any better readings. No idea where that glowing is coming from..."

"Atron energy? Does that interfere with my VM?"

"Yeah. I felt it when I faced the intruder below. Time behaved differently than it should have."

Roka finally pushed the last button and a loud roar went through the whole building, shaking it once again, more violently than the first time, the particles in the air all at once flared to an eye blinding glow, increasing in number by the second now, violently pulsating in and out of different shades of red. A shrieking sound as if out of a million machines at once pierced the air outside, followed by an uncanny moment of utter silence.

Broken by the noises of all crawlers suddenly changing direction towards the settlement.

" _No!_ " She hurled around and frantically searched the control table. "Dammit, that wasn't what it should do!"

"Sure?"

"Yeah! No... no, I'm not." She glared at the controls, turned to the Master and her eyes wandered between his face and the particles. Outside the clinking and shuffling of metal legs got louder, increased in numbers by the second.

"Shit..." she mumbled and added a few more curses.

"You screwed up, didn't you?" The Master chuckled, not even thinking about lending her a hand. "Isn't it useless to tinker around here without having all your memories?"

"I... I was so sure it would activate a barrier to keep the crawlers out." Roka glared at the huge machine, but from here on she was clueless what to do. She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I made it worse. If I'm right... then it's worse than anything we expected."

"Well..." The Master clapped his hands together and grinned. "The robots don't see us anyway. Let's wait until they're all down there and then get back to..."

"That's not the problem!" She felt them. The memories of a time long gone. "I did it wrong back then," she mumbled. "It shouldn't have worked. Why did it even work? It wasn't... Oh..."

"What? Would you mind filling me in?" the Master drawled. "We've got some time to kill, after all."

"The machine," Roka pointed behind her, "it drains the energy from the barrier around the settlement. And the crawlers have a core made from the roots of the crystal. They are drawn to the centre, so they can power themselves up again. They must be starving... in a way."

For a moment silence stretched between them, then a nasty grin formed on the Master's lips, followed by a mean chuckle. "You just doomed them all."

"Yeah... I did..." She looked away, feeling guilty and also worried. River was still down there. Probably save from the robots, but still... "And I can't deactivate the machine anymore. It drained too much power already. I... I think the whole city would collapse, would I turn it off again. It's all connected in here, you know?"

There were faint memories, bleak images of what once was. She had been here. For a very specific reason. And it had worked. It had been herself who had made it work, she realized now. It shouldn't have. But it had. Somehow. Obviously.

Or the Master wouldn't have been able to kill her.

"We're far away from the settlement," Roka mumbled resigned. "We can't travel." Her fingers ran over the buttons of the machine, without pressing them. "Seems like all we can do is wait."

"Until it's over?"

"Yeah."

"Not trying to play hero anymore?" he teased and bent towards her with a smirk.

She shot him a mean look and leaned against the wall, hands buried in her pockets. The cold temperatures started to gnaw on her, now that the excitement had settled. Luckily it wasn't as icy in here as outside and it was mostly the eerie atmosphere that made her shiver.

"Is there anything we can make a fire with?" she asked while looking around.

"I can warm you up," the Master immediately quipped with a grin and spread his arms.

Roka huffed and grinned back, but then decided to be bold and simply trod in front of him, just to see what he would do. His face dropped in puzzlement when she took another step forward and wrapped her own arms around his exposed torso. A second passed, then another, then she heard his giggle, felt it vibrating through his chest as he enclosed her in his arms and held her tight.

The Master still wasn't sure what to make of it, or if he had interpreted her words from hours ago right. It wasn't easy to understand this little human, torn and undecided as her mind was. But it was obvious that she wanted to be close to him, right now. That much he got. And for as long as she would let him he would enjoy it, although hating himself for being so soft and _weak_ in her presence. It wasn't right, it wasn't who he had always been.

But so many things had changed, had drifted from their known course. Maybe being a little different could yield something good for him, too. He held Roka a little tighter, wanted to preserve this moment, every moment with her, actually.

He hated how badly he wanted her to feel the same.

He hated how utterly lost he was.

He hated how much he hoped for a little peace in his hearts.

And he hated how _they_ wouldn't let him have it.

Again and again it was perplexing how safe Roka felt in his arms, although she could also feel his confusion through their weird, still unexplained mental connection. When he hugged her tighter she did the same, wanting to be warm and secure after over a century of existing as less than a ghost. Roka didn't care how much blood was on his hands and how much more he would add without even blinking. It wasn't important to her. It didn't scare her.

What did was the sudden shift in his emotions, switching from calm to almost frightened in an instant before he let go of her and the sensation vanished, blocked off in the hopes she hadn't noticed. But she had.

There was no time to think about it. Immense pain suddenly surged through her, started in her chest, slid to her shoulder and down her arm to her fingertips. A bright bluish glow made her look down at herself and realize it came from under her clothes. The crystal's energy was still inside her. She gasped when another wave of burning heat shot through her body and she felt the Master grabbing her tightly.

"Okay, this is enough!" he called out. "I'm going to kill this intruder and then we're off!"

"No!" Roka ground out and grabbed his sleeve. They couldn't interfere. Not yet. "Master, listen. Just wait until she's are gone and..."

"I'm _not_ letting anyone hurt you! I'll stop this, now!" he hissed, knitting his brows together, his eyes darting from one side to the other as if frantically searching for a solution. No, it was more like a slight twitching...

"You can't." Her voice was barely a whisper now.

"Of cause I-"

" _No!_ No, it's not possible." The pain intensified, sending her to her knees. Hot waves burned their way through her shoulder and heart, shooting up to her head where the crystal's energy bore into her mind, scraping and breaking her walls until it sparked more images, memories. She tried to keep them away, tried to block them from unlocking one by one.

"I _wanted_ to forget! Don't... I don't want them!" she cried out, clutching her head as if it would do anything.

The Master was with her in an instant, sat on his haunches, his fingers on her temples, forehead dropped against hers. "Let me see," he whispered.

" _No_." Roka shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I never wanted this. I..."

"What? What is it?" he demanded. " _Tell me!_ "

She clutched at his wrists, trying to tear his hands away. He wasn't supposed to see. She didn't want to remember, pleaded the Master with her eyes to leave it alone, but he stayed put, his eyes never leaving hers, his fingers firm against her temples. But then he loosened them and grabbed her elbow, helped her stand up, only to push her against the huge machine behind them.

"It's ripping you apart," he growled. "If I don't interfere, it will kill you."

"H... how do you...?"

"Because I _feel_ it! And you have to let me know what is going on so I can shield your mind properly! It's linked to you on a psychic level. If I can cut the connection it won't be able to harm your body."

Roka whimpered as more pain let her knees become weak once again, but the Master held her upright, pushed her against the machine to secure her and cradled her head in his palms.

"I won't harm you," he said in a soft voice, almost pleadingly. "I could never. Please, trust me."

"Master..." She winced at the pain and tried to fight back the emerging memories. It was no use. They came streaming back into her head, forcefully, making her sob and whimper once more. "Help me," she pleaded weakly. "I don't... not anymore. It's not true anymore."

" _What_ isn't?" His thumbs tenderly stroked over her cheeks, his nose almost touching hers. "Tell me, little crow. I'm here for you."

More pain, more images. He would see them, all of them. She didn't want to remember, but it was too late.

_Now that she knew about it, now that she had proof, now that she had wandered time and space for a century, without hope, without ever being remembered, without anywhere to go or to stay and no one to chase away the loneliness in her heart..._

_There was nothing left. No reason to fight, no way to go. No goal to chase._

_She sat there on her knees, not feeling the cold snow falling on her skin and head, not feeling the wind that tore at her clothes, not tasting the ice in her lungs that made every breath seem like swallowing glass._

There had been nothing. Simply nothing.

"Tell me," he almost whispered.

Roka glared at him, remembering how it had been, thinking he would never return, believing she would never see those warm eyes again. Even after a century it had hurt, so unbearably much.

"I wanted to die," she breathed out, leaning closer to him without really having control over it.

His eyes went dark at her words, the air around him radiating a dangerous tingling all of a sudden. She felt his rage bubbling up, not towards her, but towards himself. Because it had taken him so long to find her, because she wouldn't have been so broken, had the link properly worked.

His hands moved up, still cradling her head, but his thumbs pressed against her temples now, their faces so close to one another Roka could hardly think anymore. The rhythm of her heart was maddening, drumming in her ears, pounding through the tips of her fingers that slowly closed around his upper arms, digging into the cloth of his jacket. The pain made her sight blur, but her mind ignored it, was too distracted, too mesmerized by those depths of almost no iris, the blackness that could hold the stars of the universe. She leaned still closer, their noses touched ever so slightly.

His thumbs stroked lightly against her temples, reassuring her before he drove inside her head, gently and carefully and still making her inhale sharply at the sensation of their minds touching. It was different than before. _He_ was. And herself too. Something had changed, may it only be her perception, but it was enough to shove the pain away into some corner of her being she could ignore for a while.

Roka reached up, fisting both hands into his shirt to sturdy herself and also to draw him nearer to her. She felt his presence in her mind flicker for a moment, his eyes snapped open and to hers.

"I have you, don't worry," he mumbled.

"I know," she whispered and tugged at his shirt some more, inched her head closer, felt his breath on her lips and his hearts against her chest.

His presence flickered once more, but then flared back to life like a fire and in the same moment Roka closed the gap between them, gently kissing his slightly opened mouth. There was a sharp inhale on his side, his response immediate as he started to move his lips against hers, carefully, as if to test if she would back away, bolder when she didn't. Their eyes fell shut, the Master drove deeper into her mind, building up a barrier there that would shield her. He tasted of time, of a promise they had shared so endlessly long ago. She felt him brushing the broken memories, dragging them to the forefront for him to observe, while she deepened the kiss even further, pushing against him more urgently. Her tongue moved against his, eliciting a quiet groan from him that made her head light, almost tipsy.

The pain was forgotten, although she faintly was still aware of it, something in her mind clicked into place. It was done. She was safe. The Master fully pushed himself against her, kissing her thoroughly and almost desperately as if he had never done so before, and she was no less urgent in her response, having waited with this for far too long. And it steadied her, kept her conscious while the lost memories fully resurfaced, filling her head, without overwhelming her, thanks to him.

_She was wandering through a warzone, hidden and invisible like always. There was one way to prevent this, one person that had to die for all of this to end, for this planet to find peace again before it could be annihilated by one stupid decision. The future she had seen here was just so... useless. She was no Time Lord, she was not obliged to non-interference, so she did as she pleased._

Roka felt him smile against her lips, so widely it almost interrupted the kiss, but she grabbed his shirt tighter, pulled him closer, slid one hand upwards into his hair...

_The night was cool, the air motionless. She strode towards the camp where the leader of this disaster was residing, guarded, but utterly helpless against a ghost. They would never know. Soldiers were running around, some shouting orders, others aiming at an enemy only they could see._

_The sound of gunshots filled the air, the whistling of bullets flying past and around her when she realized she had gotten caught in an attack and hastily searched for a hiding place. They didn't need to see her for a stray bullet to..._

_She felt the pain before the sound reached her ears. Her body was in shock from the sudden wound, unable to cope with it. It was hard to breathe, hurt unbelievably and was accompanied by coughed up blood. Somehow she managed to stumble behind one of the barriers, dragged herself further and to the trees that were right behind. Only then fell her gaze down to her chest, saw the hole in her clothes, knew the bullet had perforated her lungs._

_She coughed up more blood, drew in painful breaths that got shallower by the second. She curled herself together, shaking and almost laughing. She wouldn't survive this. The wound was lethal._

_So it would end._

_A century of travelling, one hundred years of being a ghost. No, not even that. Ghosts could be remembered, but no one would ever know she had existed._

_It hurt. She cried silent tears, unable to laugh. It were not tears of pain, but of hopelessness, of being defeated. Of knowing she would die without ever meeting him again._

A sudden sensation of warmth and comfort flooded Roka's mind, making her aware of the tears on her face and the agony those memories brought back. But he was here. His lips now gently moving against hers, reassuringly instead of urgent. Slow and warm and making her know she was safe to remember and would never be so lonely again.

_So lonely it hurt more than this wound ever could. It was ridiculous. It was unfair! Not like this... not such a useless ending to her long life. But there was no escape, no way... She coughed up more blood, her breaths ragged and wheezing, hurting unbelievably. Her vision blackened, the world fading. She no longer heard the gunshots, no longer felt the pain or the tears or anything at all._

_And then it burned in her chest, like fire or acid, burned her from the inside, hollowed her out. She hurled around onto her back and screamed, and when she looked down at herself she was sure to hallucinate as her body started to dissolve into billions and billions of tiny particles, into a swirling mush of colour. Each time she moved, more of her chest vanished, making her faintly wonder how she could still be alive like that._

_And then it stopped, as if time halted each and every movement of those atoms ceased for a tiny fraction of eternity, only to then move back into her body, leaving her shaking and sobbing and clueless as to what had happened._

_But when she looked down at her chest... there was no wound anymore._


	12. I - Slipping into madness

"What the..." he muttered against her lips, slowly winding himself out of Roka's memories.

Her breath was heavy, adrenalin still rushed through her veins from both, the painful memories and the heated kiss. Like ice and fire, intertwined and keeping her from being consumed by either one. She leaned forward again, pressed her lips against his, wanted to get lost in the feeling and taste of him, wanted to forget what lay behind her. Forgotten were the snowbound ruins of old, the sound of millions of robots rushing to the death of the last remains of a lost kind.

The Master let his fingers hover over her temples, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. Only faintly did she notice something odd about the way he felt through their mental connection, but right now wasn't the time to pay attention to this. Suddenly he was back in her mind, however evading her memories, this time. Or did he? Sometimes a snipped popped to the forefront, revealed the gruesome things she had tried out after she had recovered from that shot.

A faint heartbeat was in her head, steadily pounding, repeating, like a clockwork, neither slowing, nor speeding. She wondered how his hearts could stay so still while her own was thrumming in her chest so wildly. Somehow the kiss tapered off, the initial heat leaving them, but the connection stayed. She wanted more, wanted to completely vanish, instead of remembering. And for some moments she thought he was wanting the same, until she finally realized her mistake.

There was a sudden tug in her mind and the Master tore out a whole bunch of her newly regained memories at once.

_A coincidence. She had imagined it from the shock. The shot hadn't actually hit her, that she was certain of. It couldn't be. What she had seen had only been images, born from a delirium of fear. She lay panting on the ground, hiding in the trees and listened to the fight going on nearby. It didn't bother her any longer what would become of this planet. It wasn't her bloody busyness after all._

_She had been wandering this stony desert for way too long. Hunger, thirst and exhaustion made her careless, made her overlook the usually so obvious signs of the creatures living in the stones. Before she could react properly, a large thorn was darting out from a hexagonal hole, pierced right through her middle. She didn't even feel the pain as the poison immediately paralyzed her nerves and sent her into unconsciousness. When she woke up again she found herself in a circle of dried blood. So much of it, it made her sick. It couldn't be hers, there was no wound. She had dreamed this all._

_Lightning struck a tree nearby, the purple bolt splitting the trunk right in the middle. Roka tried to hide, find a cave or someplace else to get cover. She ran, stayed in constant movement to evade the electricity that sometimes struck so close that she felt her skin crawl. It wasn't the lightning though, but a falling rock. She only saw how it fell, realized she wouldn't be able to evade. The storm was over when she regained her consciousness, the huge stone right next to her. Luck, she thought to herself. Just luck._

_There was a fight. Today she was visible. She had forgotten to check when it would happen next and suddenly found herself in front of a lanky figure, clad in thin clothes that made them quick with their thin sword. She sprang out of the way, dodged the next attack and parried with her knives, danced around the figure and almost landed a hit. Quickly she ducked below one strike, bent out of the way of the next. But her opponent was too fast, caught her off guard eventually and shoved her against the stones, a nasty grin on his lips, his sword moving fast, crashing right through her ribcage and piercing her heart. He ripped the weapon out of her chest, wiped it clean in the grass and strode away._

_This time she could not blame it on anything. She saw how it happened, how her body dissolved at the wound and put itself back together again. When it was done she lay in the grass, surrounded by her own blood, tears running down her cheeks as she curled herself to a ball and cried for what felt like hours._

_There was no escape. There was a knife on her wrist and she watched, waited. It hurt, but eventually her atoms started to rearrange themselves again. There were several poisons, some of which she could remember. She got careless, found herself on battlefields, in front of creatures and all sorts of dangerous places. She had no idea how exactly it worked, but she always woke up sometime later._

The memories twisted her insides as they flooded her mind. So much pain. Roka had only wanted it to finally be over, her journey to end. There was no point in continuing, all alone and forgotten as she had been, without any hope of this fact ever changing.

The Master stroked his thumps tenderly over her temples, but it strangely didn't calm her this time, his essence feeling just too strange in her mind.

"My, my, you did quite horrible things to yourself," he stated, his voice laced with an unfitting fascination. "And none of it killed you... Not even a scratch..." He chuckled and pressed deeper into her mind, making her gasp at the sudden intrusion. It felt as if he was everywhere at once, frantically searching for something specific.

"Master... what are you..."

It was off. It wasn't _right_. He chuckled again and this time she heard the slight tinge of madness in it, heard his steady heartbeat... was it a heartbeat? Her head got dizzy, her sight blurred. Roka grabbed his wrists and tried to push him away from her, but his thumbs only pressed harder against her temples, almost painfully now.

"Stop," she whimpered. "You're hurting me."

"Oh, don't worry," he said happily. "It won't _kill_ you, after all, right?"

She groaned and had to close her eyes to endure the sensation of his energy coursing through her head like a sharp knife.

"This is good. This is fantastic!" he muttered to himself. "Oh, you nasty little human. Hiding something like that from me..."

"I didn't hide anything. What the hell are you..."

A sudden sharp pain jolted through her head, would have make her double over if the Master wouldn't still be pressing her against the machine. He was digging deeper, far deeper than she could really endure. It hurt. For the first time it actually hurt, physically, and she cried out, clutching his hands, whimpering his name.

"The things I've done to keep myself alive. You have no idea to _what lengths_ I went!" Another chuckle escaped him as he dropped his forehead against hers. "And here you are, holding this little secret."

Roka wanted to protest, wanted to tell him he was wrong, but whatever he did paralyzed her too much to speak and he ignored what she was thinking, if he even paid attention to it.

"Let me have it," he demanded, a mad grin spreading on his face. "Come on, little crow, _let me have it!_ "

Her knees became weak, she even had trouble breathing now. It felt as if he was dissecting her brain, dismantling her very being into bits. She had to stop him, had to tell him. But all she could do was letting out another whimper and finally he let go of her, abruptly slipping out of her mind and leaving her behind as a shaky mess.

Without his hold she slithered down to her knees, feeling sick to the stomach, her head aching worse than ever before in her life. Panting she managed to raise her head, seeing the Master standing above her with a thoughtful, but cold look. He squatted down in front of her, put a finger under her chin to make her look up.

It was then that she saw what was so wrong about him. She had seen it before, so many times, so long ago. The madness clouding his gaze, the barely noticeable twitching of his eyes here and there. Roka glared at him, panic rising in her throat.

It wasn't possible.

She refused to accept even the thought of it, but the longer this moment lasted, the surer she got.

"Master," she whispered and stretched out her hand.

He took it into his own, pressed a kiss to her palm and grinned. "I _need_ it," he uttered. "I need to know how it works. Don't you get it, Roka? I'd be unstoppable!" A mad grin split his lips. "And I'm sure it would fix it! It would finally, _finally_ fix it!" He chuckled again, then lowered his head and dug his fingers into his hair, the laugh dying down to a whimper.

" _You_ killed me," Roka breathed out. "It doesn't work anymore."

"No!" His head snapped up again. "I didn't! You're still _here_! Like in all your memories! You just came back!"

"But the glitch... reality ripping open and all that. This never happened all those times before." She scuttled towards him a little, lay her hands on his shoulders. "Master, listen to me. You _stopped_ it! You-"

" _No!_ " he shouted, slapped her hands away and sprang to his feet. His finger pointed down at her, eyes boring into Roka's. "The paradox got resolved because I was _supposed_ to do it! It never fixed your _body_!" He reached down, grabbed her wrists and tore her up to him, while pulling off her gloves to reveal her hands, showing the floating matter around her fingers, too loose to stay in place any longer. Without his interference it would have spread to her whole body one day. "I only stopped it from getting _worse_."

Roka gulped, glaring at her hands. It couldn't be true. It simply couldn't. It made no sense.

Or did it?

Tears sprang to her eyes as she continued to glare at her hands, then at the Master's nasty grin. He tapped against her head, tilting his own a little.

"I can't find it in your mind. The secret to your immortality."

"I... I'm not..."

He ignored her, cradled her head in his hands. "It must be hidden still. Somewhere in that precious mind of yours. I just need to wait for it to wake up, like the rest of it. Or... awaken it myself..."

"Wha-"

"Ohh... yes, of course!" He let go and tugged down Roka's shirt to reveal the still slightly glowing veins there. "The crystal's energy did it. And it was only _such_ a tiny piece. I need to bring you down, right to the _source_!"

Roka took a step back, wide eyed and suddenly scared. Something was missing, something important. It _had_ to do with the crystal, but she was certain it wasn't what the Master was expecting. And it was obvious he wouldn't listen right now. He was all wrong, mad and obsessed, but somehow still too clear. Much clearer than he had been in the past and still so out of his mind.

"We'll jump back. I need to get you there, before the crystal deactivates again."

"B... but you said, we can't!" She didn't like the wicket grin on his face. At all.

" _You_ can't." He pointed at her. "But it doesn't matter. Might hurt a little. That's all."

He chuckled to himself and already pulled up her sleeve to grab the Vortex Manipulator from it. Roka tried to struggle, tried to keep him away, but a Time Lord's strength was too much for her. Already he had it strapped to his own wrist, had grabbed her hand and threw them right into the Time Vortex to be tossed around and spit out at the desired location.

Roka knew how it felt - how it was _supposed_ to feel - to travel via Vortex Manipulator. This was different, all wrong and twisted, as if she was at several places and times at once, fluttering in and out of possibility. Somehow she opened her eyes, saw herself standing in the keleperians' dwelling again, but also not. Each time she moved it was as if she existed a hundred times at once, each of her selves moving just a tiny little bit out of synch to the others, creating a sickening afterimage effect. In front of her was the Master, only one step away, but right now it was a chasm of eternity. Roka moved, set one foot before the other, dragged herself towards him.

And then it stopped.

All the afterimages collapsed into a single reality, time resumed in its normal way and Roka stumbled forwards, felt something twist inside of her and crashed to her knees, unable to keep herself standing. She could hardly breathe, retched and coughed. Blood, there was blood on the ground, gagged out and splayed below her.

"Sorry for the pain," the Master said in such a casual tone that it would have made her feel sick if she wouldn't already. "I'll make up for it later."

"You..." She coughed again, tried to ignore the pain that twisted her insides. "... bloody, stupid bastard of an arsehole," she ground out, not having the mind for more elaborate curses right now.

"Roka!" It was River's voice, ripping into her perception. The woman ran towards them and knelt down. "Oh my god, what happened to you?"

"She'll _survive_." The Master giggled madly and fumbled around with the Vortex Manipulator. "But why didn't it bring us all the way down? I need to get there."

"What have you done to her?!" River called out and sprang up, closing in on him and stabbing a finger at his chest. "I knew it! I knew you're a bastard! Pretending to be all soft and nice around this girl. But you only _used_ her!"

A little perplex he blinked at her, then slapped her hand away and stated matter-of-factly, "Of course I did. It's not as if she wouldn't know that."

Oh, Roka knew indeed. She hadn't awaited him to harm her in this way, though. Not after being so annoyingly overprotective with her all the time. Carefully she got into a sitting position, breathing slow and controlled.

"River," she called out meekly.

The curly woman spun around, not without shooting a last venomous glance at the Master, who was striding away now. She crouched down next to Roka, her look turning concerned and a little softer.

"You have a scanner, don't you?" Roka enquired and groaned when something in her chest stung. "Can you take a look at me? I think something's a little messed up."

"A _little_ messed up," River repeated with a snort and took out her scanner to wave it over Roka. "Well, there's some minor internal bleedings. Guess it hurts a lot, but if you don't move around too much, it won't kill you. Nothing broken. Geeze, what the hell did he do to you?"

"River, you have to get out of here," Roka stated, totally ignoring the question. "The crawlers are on their way here and the barrier around this settlement is gone."

"What? How do you...? And absolutely no!" She shot to her feet and glanced around the still smoking remains of the previous attack. "I can't leave them on their own."

Extremely carefully Roka stood up, swayed a little and finally got grabbed by River, who held her arm. "It's no use. Leave."

"Oh, just because _you_ give up on them-"

"River, listen!" Roka demanded, not even entirely sure why she felt the need to warn her at all. It just felt right. "You can't help them. There's millions, maybe even billions of those robots heading this way. It can't take too long and they will completely overrun this place." She coughed up more blood and cursed at the Master, while holding tight to River's arm. "I saw and heard them. There are so many..." River's eyes widened in terror as she spoke and Roka shook her head, let her eyes wander over the settlement, almost whispering, "They are all dead already."

_Because of me._

But that she kept to herself.

The Master came back into sight, fiddling with the Vortex Manipulator and his tablet, scanning the surroundings for whatever was on his mind. His gaze fell on her and she saw in his eyes that he was still held captive by the frenzy that had overtook him. There he was again, the Master she had met so many years ago, the one that was driven to constant action, so eager to finally make her afraid of him.

Well, now he managed. Although her fear was of a different nature than what he would enjoy.

"We have to leave," Roka pleaded and stumbled towards him, hoping she was wrong and it was only this place that messed with his head.

"Leave?" The Master laughed out and closed the remaining distance. "I'm holding the key to a never ending life in my hands now." He put his hand under her chin to make her look up. "You know, oh you know how badly I want it! _Always_ wanted it!" The grin got madder, his voice a little high pitched. His eyes twitched again. "Don't complain, little crow. It means you won't ever be lonely again. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Not like this," she uttered back.

"She's got internal bleedings," River tossed in. "If Roka doesn't get medical attention, and _fast_ , I'm not sure she will..."

"She _will_. Now I need to murder a certain intruder, if you excuse me." He snickered, took a step back and dramatically widened his arms. "If that's out of the way I can bring you down and wake up your memories. Doesn't that sound nice?"

His hand was already at the button of the Vortex Manipulator when Roka lunched herself forwards, grabbing the Master's arm as tightly as she could. The last thing she saw was his perplex expression, then the Vortex swallowed them once more, again feeling wrong, again ripping her body to shreds, leaving her as endless possibilities and endless times, only to finally collapse and spit them out near the crystal.


	13. I - A little hope

The effect was worse than the first time. A vague thought told Roka it had to be because of the proximity to the crystal, but in the end it didn't matter. For the fraction of a moment time was frozen, afterimages mimicked all of their movements, the air was thick and didn't let her breath. She wanted to grab tighter onto the Master's arm, but couldn't move.

It stopped in an instant, a jolt shooting through Roka as if it were lightning. She collapsed to the ground and rolled onto her back, a muffled scream choking out from her lungs at the sudden pain. She couldn't even pinpoint where it came from, it was just everywhere at once. But now she also remembered, recalled the last bit of missing memory and knew, would she not stop him here, this future would never happen.

Even if it meant for her to probably die here, now.

"Master," she whimpered, managed to roll to the side and curl herself together.

The sight of Roka was too much, ripped its way through the fog of frenzy and madness and the noise. He halted in his steps, turned around and rushed back to kneel down beside her.

"Seems to need a really serious amount of damage to trigger your healing," he remarked, curiosity and a little worry fighting within him.

"It's not true anymore," she ground out. "It stopped. Master, you mustn't..." Roka winced in pain and curled herself to an even smaller ball, hands clutched around herself.

"Don't tell me what I must and mustn't," he growled and tilted his head with a slight smile. "Can't you see it? All the possibilities? Can't you _hear_ it calling?!" He giggled again to himself, feeling the rush of anticipation, the adrenalin of what might be. He heard it, heard it call for him, drumming in his ears like...

Roka grabbed his arm and tore herself up at him, wiping away coughed-up blood and tears with her sleeve in the process. "You have to stop," she pleaded. "I don't want to lose this. I lost you once, I got you back, and I don't want to miss a second of it. Even if it all ends here."

His heartbeat was so loud in his ears, so bloody loud he couldn't think clearly. Ever since he had seen her memories they beat that loud. It drove him mad, forced him to action, urged him forward.

His _heart_ beat... he refused to accept, still denied himself reality.

It wasn't _possible_. It wasn't _allowed_ to be possible.

But Roka could fix it. If only he could get a hold of those regenerative powers, so different to a Time Lord's, yet so much more helpful in his particular case.

What was it she had just said? She wouldn't die anyway, what... He felt her small body against his, how she dragged herself to her knees and leaned against him, both hands on his chest, then cradling his face, her eyes boring into his.

There wasn't much life left in them. The last jump must have broken her body badly.

"Master, listen." Her voice was the only thing beside his heartbeat he could actually hear. "You're not yourself. I don't know what..."

Something rushed past the two, a shadow in dark clothes. Now Roka could see it too, without being reminded first. Because she already remembered. The Master shot to his feet, was so eager to run after the intruder, but she held onto him with all her remaining - steadily fading - strength.

" _You mustn't harm her!_ " she called out. "Just _leave_!"

"Don't tell me what I... _her_?"

He fell silent. So suddenly and final that time seemed to stumble again. His head turned, first to the person stretching out her hand to the crystal, then to Roka.

_What did you do to yourself?_

_You have been here before._

Everything snapped into place for him, forcefully, driving away the... no, his hearts beat as frantically as they had before, but now he couldn't hear them any longer. He never had. It weren't his hearts.

_I wanted to die._

Roka's words rang in his head over and over again, his gaze fell on her shaking form, clinging desperately to him, his mind remembered that he had sworn to protect this silly human, not to _hurt_ her! Not again! Not ever... ever...

It roared in his head, everything drowned and blurred, became a mush of impressions and emotions he didn't want. With a whimper the Master clutched his head, sunk to his knees and felt Roka's hands on him, her forehead leaned against his as she stroked over his hands. He felt her fingers brush over his skin in movements that lacked control, they slipped down, somewhat touching his temples.

And then...

Silence.

There was only silence, forcing his mind to snap back into place, back to where it belonged in the absence of the beating rhythm of four. He glanced up surprised, saw the light slowly fading out of Roka's eyes, her fingers still resting on his temples for a moment.

Then she collapsed in his arms. He barely caught her body in his surprise and carefully went on his knees with her. His hand brushed away some stray hair from her forehead, caressed her feverish cheeks. Now his hearts started to race for an entirely different reason, fearfully hammering against his ribs.

"No... no, _no, no, no_! What have I... It can't be! Tell me, it can't be!" He shook her slightly, sighing in relieve at her opening eyes, swallowing a lump of dread in his throat when he could barely feel her pulse any longer. His head shot towards the person at the crystal, back to Roka and fell on the small spot of glowing blue that still sat on her chest. "You absorbed all of that energy," he muttered in disbelieve.

"Yeah, I did," she breathed out weakly.

And in that moment her younger self in front of the crystal started to glow and vanish completely in blindingly blue light. The ground shook, all the energy vibrated violently through the air, let it hum and bristle and crackle. Someone absorbing all of this... it would tear them to pieces, would do unimaginable things to them. But someone, who was a glitch, a paradox, a dissolving mass of impossibility...

"You... _can_ die," he realized dryly, "The crystal made you mortal again."

Not forever. One day she would have still become a ghost without him. But it had given her time. Lots of it.

"Morron," she grumbled in his arms. "Look at what you did again."

The Master did. Although he could feel the energy closing in, although he wasn't sure what it would or could do to him. "No," he muttered again, dropping his head. "I didn't want this. I didn't... I don't know why I... it was so _loud_. It was just so... It wouldn't let me _think_."

There was no answer, no movement. He raised his head to find Roka's eyes closed, to feel no movement in her body that indicated any breath, he couldn't feel her single heartbeat, couldn't hear her mind inside of his own.

So many things he had wanted her to know, had wanted to tell. He reached out with his mind, hoped to find her presence that had become so familiar over the past weeks.

But there was only silence.

It couldn't be true. The crystal's energy crept closer, threatened to swallow them both. But the Master no longer cared. Not for any future, nor for immortality any longer. All he could do was to stare at the lifeless body in his arms, to utter her name over and over again, rocking back and forth. It was not true... He had not killed her in his mindless chase. It could not be, it could not... Not after he had searched for her for so long, not after all they had been through, not when they had finally found together and were travelling the stars like he had always wished to do with her. Not when she had endured so much pain and loneliness on her long journey, not when her very soul had been so torn that death was the only thing she had wished for. Not when she had decided to _live_ nonetheless, even when he had offered her an end.

Something nudged against his mind. Weak and almost not even there, but he could still feel it. She was alive! He glared down at Roka, gingerly pushed two fingers of his right hand to her temple and listened. There was her voice, calling to him from within her unconscious sleep, and a second voice, also hers, crying out from within the energy of the crystal that now entirely surrounded them.

 _I found you,_ her inner voice whispered, and he was not sure which of her it was. _I couldn't bear to live with this loneliness, but you are here._

Only now did he notice the tears dripping down from his eyes onto her face and wiped them away before leaning down and breathing a kiss to her cold lips. "I am," he uttered, "and I get it now. It makes sense... I wish it wouldn't. Wait for me, I'll be right back. You know I always return." He looked up to her younger version. "Let me give you some hope to take a long."

Carefully he lay Roka down and faced the figure in the light. She was slightly hovering above the ground, one hand hanging limb against her side, the other stretched out towards the crystal, without really touching it. It wasn't necessary. The last times she had been here, she had steadied the connection, each time a little more, had lost herself and every memory of this process along the way, only for this one final moment to take place.

But it was too much. No matter how prepared, no matter the glitch, a mere human body was not able to hold so much energy for long. The Master could sense it through the vibrations in the air and moved faster until he had reached the centre and could grab Roka's stretched out wrist.

Like lightning the energy shot from her through his body. The Master gasped and ground his teeth together, while pulling Roka into his arms to hold her firm and kiss her glowing forehead under the hood.

"It's enough," he breathed. "You can let go. I'm here. And I will _always_ be, even though you won't remember. But I am. I _will_ find you." He pushed his head against hers, pinched his eyes shut and held her tighter. "You will sense it inside you when you lose hope, when you stray from your path and think this is the end." Tenderly he lowered her hood, brushed her blond hair away, cupped her face with both hands and pressed his thumbs against her temples. "I'm right inside here. Remember? You were too inexperienced, so it never fully broke. I'm still there. You can always feel it. I'm always, _always_ with you, little crow."

Roka's lids opened, light shone out of them, letting her eyes glow in the most beautiful green he had ever seen. Her mouth moved ever so slightly, forming a single word he could only see, but not hear.

"Master..."

He nodded, moved in closer and kissed her tenderly, absorbed the excessive energy until he was sure the rest wouldn't harm her. Around them the light slowly dimmed, time faded back into its normal ways and all sounds and vibrations returned to their normal state of being. Carefully he lay her down between some crystal roots. Her eyes were closed now, her breath even. He knew she would live and so he left without turning around and strode back to the present.

"I'm not letting you die, little crow," the Master growled and breathed out the energy he had consumed. It tingled through his veins and probably would knock him out for a few days, but it wasn't harmful. "Be right back."

He wasn't eager to risk anything by teleporting her with him, so he carried Roka out of sight of her past self and into a small corridor, where she was hidden behind some debris. Then he jumped to his TARDIS with the Vortex Manipulator and collected everything he could think of to at least stabilize her body enough to bring her here, jumping back in time to return only a second after he had left her.

The Master hid and watched as the younger Roka slowly heaved herself off the ground, glared at her hands and down her body as if she could see what the crystal had done to her. A last time she looked back, turned hear head upwards to the chaotic noises that came from above. The crawlers had finally arrived to wipe out the whole place.

The figure swayed, held her head for a moment and then scuffled away into another corridor to continue her journey until they would meet again.

There was nothing he could do anymore for her, so the Master turned his attention to where he was still able to fix things, even though he was sure Roka would never forgive him for this. He would never forgive himself. But at least he wanted her to be alive, and safe.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_  
  


Roka dreamed of a light, of the power coursing through her veins, tearing at her atoms and her very being, until she felt strong arms around her and heard a soft voice whispering soothing words. For the first time in over a century she felt save and warm and a new courage seeped into her heart she had thought to be impossible.

The feeling fully engulfed her mind and finally woke her up. Perplex she blinked a few times, turned her head on the soft pillow to take a look at the room she was in. The walls were completely lined with filled book shelves, only leaving a single spot for a wide window that showed a nebulae outside. In front of one half of the window stood a desk with lots of papers and mechanical parts.

Her attention went back to the bed, finding it extraordinarily comfy. Not too soft and not too hard, with nice, dark grey pillows and blankets.

It smelled like him.

This must be the Master's room, she concluded and wrapped herself tighter into the blankets. Only then did Roka realize that she was still alive, although her head and muscles ached horribly. The last thing she remembered was the paralyzing pain from the jump and her desire to keep the Master from killing her past self.

It must have worked. Obviously. And he seemed to have brought her back and somehow mostly healed the damage the jump through the Atron energy had caused her body. Carefully she moved her limbs. It hurt a little, but not as if something inside her was still broken, so she climbed out of bed and realized suddenly she wore only a T-shirt and her boxers.

_Great._

Undecided what to do next she stood in the middle of the room, looking left and right, contemplating whether or not to let her curiosity win and take a peek at his stuff. At least at the book shelves. But before she did, she pulled open a closet and luckily found some of his beloved black dress shirts in it, of which she donned one, leaving the buttons open though. The sleeves were too long, but she actually liked how they covered her glitching hands.

After that she found a door to a small, but well equipped bathroom with both, a shower and a bathtub. Roka contemplated whether or not to let herself be soaked in some hot water for a while, but decided against it, not being in the mood to maybe lose consciousness and drown. That really would be a shame, after she came back alive. Since she had no idea if her organs were damaged, it was too much of a risk, so she only took a quick shower.

Hair still damp and feeling immensely better, being clean again, she continued her spying and wasn't surprised to find a device here that was able to produce food and cold drinks. The Master knew how to get comfortable, and Roka happily made herself some sandwiches and downed a few glasses of juice, before she took a look at the rest.

His books were an interesting collection from all over time and space, as she had expected. After a while she pulled out one of them and sat down in front of the free half of the window, cross legged and quickly sunken into the pages. She wouldn't get helpful answers on her own, after all, and finding the Master within his own TARDIS could also become quite the hassle. He'd return to his room sooner or later, she concluded, if only to look after her state.

"Geeze, you're not making this easy, you know that?" his voice grumbled from the door, who knows how much later.

Roka slowly drifted out from the story and blinked a few times to find back to reality. The Master stood a bit away, hands buried in his pant pockets, gaze fixated on her.

"Why's that?" she asked eventually. "I didn't want to sleep anymore and thought waiting for you here _would_ be easiest."

He rolled his eyes to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Not what I meant... It's just having my three favourite things in such close proximity." Roka raised a questioning brow at him and he smiled impishly. "Well... the universe," he waved at the window, "books... and you, half naked." At the last part he poked out his tongue, the smile widening a little. "Is that one of _my_ shirts?"

"It is," she huffed and closed the book to lift herself from the ground. She didn't move from where she stood, though, and only crossed her arms. "I think, you have a lot of explaining to do. And no excuses, for once. Please."

His smile dropped and he nodded, but then shrugged and raised his hands, palms facing upwards. "I don't know where to start. Ask."

"Very well..." Roka leaned back at the window and thought about what she wanted to know most urgently. "How does it come we even landed at that place?"

"I'm actually still figuring it out." The Master rubbed his neck and shrugged once more. "I programmed my TARDIS to follow the link on your chest... but she shouldn't follow the signal on her own... normally."

"Okay... malfunctions, I get it." She had already suspected it.

Her presence in here also might disturb some functions, but that was only speculation not at all helpful right now.

There was something a lot more urgent she had to know, although she hardly dared to speak it out. It was the root of the problem, though. The one thing that made him hide from her and prevented him from sleeping. The thing that had made him snap and lose his mind. Again.

Roka took a deep breath and glanced back up at the Master.

"The drums are back, aren't they?"


	14. I - Connecting (E)

"Yes... and no."

The answer made Roka raise a brow and she saw how much he struggled with his next words. "The Time Lords removed the link. The drums can never be... there again."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roka asked softly, knowing how much the topic affected him. "I think I heard them. Thought it was your hearts, but... it wasn't, right?"

He shook his head and pushed his hands back into his pockets, only to pull them out a second later. Roka had to swallow. He seemed so utterly lost, right now.

"It's because of... time," he tried, but shook his head. "When I took you life, when reality cracked open and put itself back together again... stuff from the past and the future got a little mixed up, because I was in the centre of it all." He started to pace up and down, eyes glued to the floor. "They aren't back. I just sometimes hear... an echo of the past? Maybe it's that, I don't know."

There was no answer she could think of, right now. Her worst fear had come true in a way, and she couldn't even begin to comprehend how it must be for him to hear the drums again after so much time. He stopped his pacing, eventually, stayed in front of her, but still a good distance away.

"Is that why you're not sleeping, lately?" she finally dared to ask.

He slowly nodded. "Not sure why, but they are always there when I'm asleep. Funny actually," he huffed, "it used to be the exact other way around."

"And it also happens when your emotions are a little out of control?" she teased and only got back a scowl. She knew it to be right, without him answering.

Something in his demeanour changed suddenly, his face showing signs of sadness and also determination. As if he had made a decision he now wanted to act upon.

"Where do you want me to drop you off?"

Puzzled she looked up and blinked at him. "Wha'?"

"You know... place, time. Doesn't matter."

"Uh..." She rubbed her neck, trying to get her mind to click with the sudden unfolding of events. "Did I miss something? Do you have plans? I mean, sure... I can leave, 's just... uh... lemme think that through first. And where will we meet up again?"

"Meet..." For a second the Master looked dumbstruck. He pinched his eyes shut and made a movement as if to shake something off his head, then trod in front of Roka and placed a hand right next to her head, leaning down a little. "Why would you want to meet me again? I _hurt_ you!" His face contorted in anger and pain and maybe a little sadness. "I was so careless, I almost killed you for good."

Roka unfolded her arms and pushed them against his torso, feeling his double hearts beating frantically under his shirt. It seemed he took it as a sign to back off, so she clutched the cloth to hold him in place, although his face took on an even more perplex expression.

"Yeah, that was dumb. And I really want to punch your face for it... But I don't want to leave," she breathed.

A dry laugh escaped him. "I'm dangerous. I have no control over the drums or when they will reappear. This was only a warning, one single incident. I could do so much worse things to you, when I lose myself. It's so easy... I'm not used to them anymore." His voice got quieter, almost desperate. "How are you not scared? Why don't you run already, you idiot?"

His gaze bore into hers, confusion and anger seeping into her from him, but also sincere regret and even a little shame. Roka glared back, remembering the pain she had endured just some hours ago, the fear of maybe dying and losing everything she had fought for. She clutched his shirt tighter, closed her eyes and took some slow breaths, before opening them halfway up again.

"Because I'm insane," she offered with a small smile and tugged him closer. He took a surprised step towards her, his torso almost touching hers, her hands the only thing between them. Her eyes never left his, one hand moving to his tie to pull a little at it. After a moment he gave in and leaned closer down to her, their foreheads almost connecting.

"You have to be," he uttered, perplex but also amazed. "Why else would you take such a risk?"

Roka tugged at his tie a little more, their noses brushed along each other and she felt his breath on her mouth. He hesitated to move closer, obviously uncertain what she was up to, so Roka leaned forward, carefully moved her lips against his, her heart acting up, not from the touch, but from the words that so eagerly, yet so tentatively needed to be spoken.

"Because I love you."

With that she kissed him fully, not having to wait long till he responded, as urgently as herself. His hands were on her face, cradling her head in his palms as he tilted his head to have better access. She slid the tip of her tongue against his lips and he yielded immediately, granted her access, pressed himself firmer against her, only to suddenly break the kiss and glare into her eyes, their mouths still so close they barely stopped touching.

"You _are_ insane," he uttered, his hands still cradling her head.

Roka huffed and it became a chuckle. But she actually had no intention to talk, right now, so her only answer was to take his bottom lip between hers, biting tenderly down on it, what elicited a delicious groan from him. His hand slid down, one to her side, the other to the small of her back, both pressing her against him. They resumed the kiss, more passionately, heated and urgent, wanting to forget everything that lay behind them. Her own hands started to roam. found his tie again and loosened the knot until she could grab both ends to draw him still nearer, not willing to stop until she had to gasp for air.

He used her distraction to move his mouth to her neck, kissing and nipping his way down to her most sensitive spot and suck lightly at it. She could feel him grin against her skin as she let out a groan and the tie dropped to the floor. Her hands flew to the buttons of his shirt, but he grabbed both her wrists to pin them against the window and kiss her some more, and with a passion that overwhelmed her so completely, she got lost in it, carried away, no longer caring how far this would go. She wanted him, _needed_ him.

Her hands got freed, his fingers were on her temples, gingerly stroking along her skin, before he slipped into her mind and let the already existent connection flare to life, letting her forget where she started and he ended. A light flashed behind her closed lids, dizziness let her sway and suddenly made her feel sick a little.

She groaned, trying to find out where she even was and pushed him away, before she tumbled and almost collapsed against him.

"Sorry," the Master muttered and swept her into his arms. "Was that too much?"

"Too sudden," Roka mumbled back and held her head, while the Master carried her to the bed and let her down there.

He sat next to her, patiently waiting for her to recover. The sudden interruption had somewhat cooled them both down a little, but Roka needed the closeness right now. On the bed she sat on her knees, leaned forward and touched the Master's head with her fingertips.

"What is it? Why are we connected like that?"

He eyed her, let his gaze wander over her underdressed self, a smirk forming on his lips and he brushed the black shirt from her shoulders. "I'll tell you. For a price."

"What, I have to strip for some info I'm obliged to have?" She chuckled. "You have nerves."

"Not quite." He turned fully, sitting cross-legged opposite to her, now, and waved her over with both hands. "I need skin contact," he explained and then grinned salaciously. " _And_ I want to undress you."

God, she hated him right now. Not for his behaviour, but for his smile that she couldn't resist, that made her not even think properly as she willingly inched closer on her knees, letting the Master brush down the dress-shirt from her shoulders and pull at the sleeves to get it off completely. His eyes rested on her hands for a moment, observed the swirling particles, before he raised them both to his mouth and pressed light kisses into her palms.

"Remember, before my resurrection, when we were in that cave and I created this bond between us?"

"Yeah, I do, but... I broke it to get the alien out of your head."

He nodded and raised his hands to her head. Roka leaned a little closer and opened up to let him in, his energy immediately rushing through her. She gasped at the sensation, her body responding to him, her pulse quickening. He guided her awareness to a place that was warm and inviting, and there she saw, no, _felt_ it. A weak line of golden light, connecting her mind with his.

"It regains a little of its strength each time our minds connect."

Slowly she opened her eyes, barely able to comprehend the meaning of this.

"You... never left me," she uttered.

His eyes opened, too, and a sad smile curved his lips. "No. You were never fully alone."

Roka shivered lightly at the realisation, and also because she now remembered the words he had spoken to her at the crystal, when she had been consumed by that energy, had almost gotten lost in it. She got abruptly torn out of the memory when he tugged at her T-Shirt and started to pull it up.

"Hey, you already showed me. What do you need more skin contact for?" she asked suspiciously.

"Who says I need it to show you something in your head?" His lips turned to a playful smile as he lifted himself to his knees, sitting on his haunches and leaning a little towards her, his hand stroking along her face. His own slowly morphed into a seriousness that completely belied his playful attitude from a moment before. "I meant what I said. I'll stop, if you want me to. I won't ever touch or tease you again, if that is what you wish."

"N... no, that's not..." Roka sighed and leaned into his touch. "It's just... a human thing, I guess. Letting someone so close. Not sure you can relate..."

"Oh, I can." He smiled a little. "Sharing a mind with another person has a similar significance. But for you it doesn't have the same meaning."

Perplex she blinked at him, remembering how intimate it had felt to have him in her head and playing with his essence. "Why didn't you stop me, then?" she asked shyly.

"Why would I? I travelled so long just to find you again. The closer I can have you the better. But I know you're scared and still broken, so you can have all the space you need. I only want you to _see_."

Roka swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. Sometimes she forgot how insightful the Master could be. Slowly he put his forehead against hers, his thumbs caressing her face.

"See what?" she muttered and saw and admiring smile crossing his eyes.

"That you were brave enough to _live_ , although you regained your ability to die. That you are brave enough to _stay_ with me, although I could destroy you." He breathed a feather light kiss to her lips, making her shiver slightly. "That you do have the courage to _take_ whatever you want, no matter how much you want to deny it."

With a deep sigh she closed her eyes, pushed more of her weight against his forehead and into his hands. "I want you to hold me," she breathed out against his lips. "I want to stop running. I want you close." Her eyes crept open, glared into his, her words now clear, although still quiet. "I want you to claim me, _Master_."

"Claim you?" He chuckled slightly. "There's nothing to claim, little crow. You already are my possession."

His eyes turned darker when she shivered under his touch and also because she didn't back away when his hands idly slid under her shirt, up and down over the bare skin of her hips. She remembered that she wasn't even wearing a bra when he pulled the T-Shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor, his eyes hungrily wandering over her almost naked form, stopping when they passed some of the scars she had collected over the years.

She had awaited to feel vulnerable, being so bare, but the way he looked at her only reassured her, made her feel wanted and welcomed, let her relax and simply enjoy being treated like this. Whatever hesitation there had been left in her simply melted away. He was right, she had no reason to deny herself what she desired. And it was then that she got fully aware of just how much _he_ was still wearing, in opposite to her.

"Quid pro quo?" she offered and poked out her tongue. "'S hardly fair that you're still wearing so much."

He hummed amused, his nimble fingers caressing his name on her chest. The other grabbed the tossed-aside black dress shirt and held it up, a grin splitting his lips. "Wear it," he demanded.

"That's not quite what I was referring to," she sighed.

"You want something from me. And _I_ definitely want you in that shirt."

She smirked a little at that. "Okay, I play along."

The Master lifted the shirt up and then behind Roka to make it easier for her to slip her arms inside. The cloth brushing over her skin sent a wave of delicate heat down between her legs, intensifying as the Master hooked his fingers into the lapels to draw her upper body against his. She openly groaned when her breasts brushed against him and it was impossible for her to keep her fingers still. Roka just had to pop open the first button on his own shirt, while his eyes followed her every movement.

A moment later he swiftly grabbed her and swiped her into his lap, leaving her no choice but to straddle his legs, although she still kept herself upright on her knees and above him as she continued with the buttons and also started to kiss him again, slow and intense at the same time, tasting him exploring him, getting lost.

When the last button was undone she brushed the shirt from him, tossed it to the floor, next to her discarded T-Shirt. Only then did she slid herself down against him, until she sat in his lap, feeling just _how_ much he wanted her. He swallowed a groan from her lips and couldn't hold back one of his own when she started to move against his groin, creating some delicious friction between them. With each of her movements he dug his fingers deeper into her sides, the kiss getting more passionate, and heated.

Roka couldn't bare it, let her hands wander down between them to fiddle with the button of his pants. Eventually she rose to her knees once more, so he could kick off the clothing himself and pull her back down immediately after, his freed length pressing against her through the cloth of her shorts, letting her lose her mind for a second. Or maybe a few more. Roka was sure to breath out his name at some point, certainly when he started to caress her breasts and certainly no longer when he devoured her mouth in another searing kiss.

His hand slipped between them and into her shorts, gliding through her folds to feel just how ready she was for him. He smiled impishly against her lips, then pushed two fingers inside her and stifled her groan with his tongue, his thumb circling against her clit and driving her crazy, while she automatically rocked against him.

Somehow she managed to moan out his name once more, clutching his shoulders and not sure at all how long she would be able to stand his ministrations. But already he slipped out of her, leaving her needing and desperate for him.

"Say my name," he demanded, his hand sliding along the hem of her shorts, teasing to finally let her take them off. For a price.

"Master," she breathed out and felt him twitch against her, his eyes almost black from the lack of iris.

He let go of Roka and she hurried to get rid of her shorts, tossing them aside, without her eyes ever leaving his. Swiftly he grabbed her again, pushed her back down into his lap, where she moved herself against him until she felt him at her entrance. His hands wandered to her bum, encouraging and guiding her. She lifted herself up a little, steadied herself with her hands against his chest and slid down on him slowly, until his length filled her out completely.

Roka groaned against his neck, shivering from her own need and the overwhelming sensation of having him inside her.

"You're alright?" he asked, a hint of amusement glinting out somewhere behind the passion that clouded his gaze, his slightly ragged breath belying the demeanour.

She nodded and started to rock against him, the hands on her bum pressing her closer again and again, helping her to build a rhythm. Her own fingers crept to his neck, into his hair and their lips crashed against each other again in a sloppy kiss, interrupted by frequent moans and the need to breathe.

The Master was at her temples once more, but his touch was light, their connection strengthened only a little. Their minds intertwined ever so slightly, adding to the passion enough to let Roka lose all perception of time. The Master lowered his head, started to suck lightly at her nipple, while his hands massaged her bum, keeping her rocking against him, spiralling them both in and out of control.

She felt his pleasure almost as much as her own, breathed out his name and knew they were both close, just hovering near the edge and enjoying this moment of being one together. Her orgasm built quickly and she wrapped her hands around his neck, while he left a searing trail of kisses down her chest, then found his way to her lips again.

Roka wasn't entirely sure who came first, she moved slower, drawing out the moment, there on the edge of no return. Her release finally knocked her mind out completely as she swallowed his groans of pleasure, while she clenched around him, shuddering, while he pulsated inside her, fingers dug into her skin, both entirely lost, foreheads connected.

Her breath was still heavy, her body slightly trembling, when she managed to open her eyes. The hand on her back moved slightly, pushing her against him some more to hold her in place, as the Master moved to lay on his back, sliding out of her in the process, but keeping her on top of him.

She had no idea for how long they simply lay there, indulged in the presence of the other one.

"Why'd you never ask?" the Master eventually muttered and brushed away some hair from her forehead. "About the bond. Must have felt it the whole time, didn't you?"

Roka lifted her head from his chest and finally rolled down to his site, where she snuggled against him. "I... I feared you would take it away," she confessed quietly.

He turned to her, snaking an arm over her middle and pulling her against him. "I have to... eventually. This type of connection isn't meant to be permanent, y'know." Tenderly he played with her hair and breathed a kiss to her forehead. "Especially not when it's so active."

She sighed and tried to hide her disappointment, which made the Master chuckle. "You wouldn't want that, believe me."

"I can very much decide that on my own, thank you," she quipped back.

"There are ways..." he started, but didn't continue for some seconds. "Doesn't matter. We can keep it active for a little longer. Just tell me when you start to feel weird."

Roka sighed and snuggled herself closer. "Okay. 'S just nice to have you inside."

"I noticed," he replied impishly and Roka playfully slapped his side.

The Master snickered, tugged a blanket over them both and nuzzled into her hair. "I need sleep. Will you stay with me?"

She only hummed confirming, unwilling to speak or to move for at least the next hour or so.


	15. II - Stuck

**Act** **2 - Stuck**

_In which people meet in the wrong order - again. And in which Roka and the Master have to cope with something truly new.  
_

* * *

She hadn't awaited to actually fall asleep again after she had probably rested for quite some hours before. But when Roka woke up she was alone, instantly getting aware of the Master's missing presence next to her. She tried to reach out for him with her mind, curious as to how far this bond was actually reaching. However, she either wasn't capable of controlling it or they needed to be close for it to work. After all, she also had never felt any of his emotions while he wasn't in reach.

Roka pouted into the pillow and groggily got out from under the warm covers to take a quick shower. Only then did she remember that she didn't have any clothes in here and that she would have to go to her own room to get some. But when she opened the bathroom door and went back into the Master's room, she found a bunch of neatly folded clothes, plus underwear, right in front of the door.

A little perplex she picked the bundle up and carried it to the bed. It were some dark blue jeans, a simple black T-shirt and, much to her delight, a red checked hoody. Roka quickly donned everything, wondering who had put it here. Probably not the Master, or he surely would have at least said hello or leave a snarky remark.

She looked up, asking aloud, "Was that you?"

There was a slight humming in the air. The sound the TARDIS was emanating constantly in the console room, only with a different pitch, and it vanished quickly.

"Uh... thank you." Roka smiled. She wasn't used to a TARDIS reacting to her at all. The Doctor's had never particularly liked or despised her, so they hadn't interacted that much over the years. Or maybe she hadn't been able to notice Roka at all, due to the glitch, albeit it was questionable whether or not a machine like that would even be affected by it.

She was decidedly still too tired to think about it any further and strode to the kitchen. The one in the Master's TARDIS looked a lot like one would expect the cantina of a Star Trek series to look, and sometimes Roka got the feeling the Master had watched those series. Not that he would _ever_ admit it. The floor was grey, the walls had different shades of greyish blues and the counter was made of marble. There were several ovens and hobs and a machine that could produce food from air. Literally. It took the atoms out of the ventilation system and rearranged them.

But Roka wasn't interested in any of it, she headed straight to the coffee machine, stuffed a cup beneath it and pushed the button, satisfyingly sniffing the air as it got filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

"That's... ordinary," a female voice remarked from behind her.

Roka spun around in surprise and came face to face with...

"River. Y... you're here?"

She smirked and tilted her head a little. "Seems like it. Guess the Master was afraid you'd be mad at him for leaving me behind, so he came back and took me with you. Not in a very gentle manner, I might add." She sighed and quirked a brow. "I'm also heavily restricted in how freely I can move around in here."

Roka blinked perplex at the information, then once more... and let out an involuntary yawn. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth and she turned to grab her coffee.

"Good to see you're safe," she mumbled and yawned again, before taking a first sip.

River chuckled. "It's almost uncanny, you know. Seeing you fight the way you do, having you jump into your almost certain death, although you were injured. And now you're just an ordinary girl, being groggy and unresponsive before her first coffee."

"Pfffff," Roka huffed and couldn't hide her grin. "And there I went without that stuff for almost half a century. No idea how I managed."

"Half a century... interesting." River strode past her and let the machine produce a cup for herself. Tea, though. "But you _are_ human, aren't you?"

"Huh?" Roka blinked sleepily at the woman before it dawned on her. "Ohhh, right, yeah... my age."

River giggled at her reaction and cradled the hot cup between her palms. "You look no older than... mhm... eighteen maybe?"

"Twenty-four," Roka mumbled and emptied her mug, getting it refilled immediately after. "Well, I was when I met the Doctor. His TARDIS froze my timestream to slow down the glitch." At River's questioning glance she added, "Right... you also don't know about that."

And, in a short version, she explained it. How her matter had been slipping in and out of reality, making people forget her entire existence within minutes, making her invisible, until she physically made herself noticed. How her atoms dissolved faster and faster over the years, until she would have disintegrated completely, hadn't it been for the freezing.

She paused, pondering over her newly regained memories from the incident on the snowy planet. It had only slowed down the process. She knew that, in an alternate timeline, the Master had met her future self, almost completely disintegrated, almost nothing but a ghost, unable to touch anything, or to die.

But this version of her had been at least a thousand years old, and the one that had activated the crystal had been younger than she was now. Meaning the disintegration had started way earlier than expected and only he tremendous amount of energy from the crystal had managed to stabilize her for another while.

With a small shock Roka realized that, if she hadn't activated the crystal, the Master would have never been able to kill her back then, and therefore to dissolve the paradox of her existence and getting rid of her glitch once and for all.

"So, what happened down there?" River's voice tore into her thoughts.

Roka glanced up, downed her coffee and got herself a third one, contemplating how much she actually wanted to tell. "We stopped it," was all she offered, in the end. "What happened to the settlement? Did... anyone survive?"

"Yes. There was a huge wave coming from that crystal, at one point. It eliminated all the crawlers. No one knows if there are any left, but at least there are enough people still alive to tell the tale."

Relief washed over Roka at hearing that. It had been her fault, after all, that the robots had been called towards the crystal in the first place, that the barrier had been gone. Maybe she couldn't make any of it undone, but now the remaining inhabitants had a chance to live in peace, if only for a while.

She smiled and let out a relieved sigh. "I'm really glad to hear that. At least not all is lost. They deserve another chance."

"So, you _do_ care, after all, huh?"

Roka looked up from her mug and into River's eyes. They had a nice blue, she realized, hiding lots and lots of secrets, a good portion of mischief and humour, and also hinting at a dangerous person, if the need arose. Underneath it all, though, was a visible layer of kindness and the will to protect.

Roka wondered what River might see in return. What was in her own eyes after being lonely for so long, after having decided that death was the only alternative, after having found a spark of new hope in her heart after awakening in front of the crystal, feeling the warmth of a bygone, still lingering kiss on her lips, hearing the Master's words in her mind, albeit not consciously. The years after that had flown by like in a trance. Like nothing mattered anymore. Without even the memory of her previous death wish and everything that had to do with it. After she had regained her ability to smile and could now embrace life again, and, maybe for the first time, to its fullest.

Could all of this be visibly in a person's eyes?

"You're old, aren't you?" River asked softly, still not knowing her actual age.

"I lost track of time," she mumbled in return. "But I count at least two hundred earthen years. Probably a few more." Roka shrugged. "Doesn't make much of a difference."

"I see." For a while there was silence, before she spoke up again. "Sorry... I mean, that I called you cold-hearted back there."

Roka shook her head. "You were right. Compared to most people I am."

"Yeah, true." River smiled a little. "But you still care. There is still some good in your heart." She chuckled at Roka's surprised face. "Makes me wonder even more what the Master sees in you."

"I told you already," his snide voice promptly resounded from the doors. "She's my companion. Everything else is none of your damn business, woman."

River shot straight, banged her mug on the counter and strode over to the Master, making herself as big as possible and wearing an aura of threat around her like a cloak. Angrily she stabbed a finger at his chest, hissing, "Then you can finally let me go, already!"

He appeared completely unfazed by her demeanour, only a soft smirk curved his lips, promising more danger than any words ever could. "I'm still contemplating how to get an advantage out of you," he nonchalantly admitted, bending down a little. "You're dangerous enough to be locked away in Stormcage... that has to be worth something."

"Spoilers," River warned, holding a finger up. "I'm not a prisoner... yet. And I doubt my university will pay you a single coin for some random student."

The Master raised a brow at her, then straightened and moved past her to the counter, where he poured himself a cup of tea. Roka silently watched the scene unfold.

"Fine, keep me," River told.

Taking a careful sip from his hot beverage the Master turned slowly, his gaze sceptically wandering over the curly woman. "Why?"

River shrugged. "You've got a TARDIS, so you can drop me off right where I left when you get bored of me. No time lost there." She pointed up a finger. "Besides, you might lead me to the Doctor. And I guess _someone_ has to make sure you won't bite the girl."

"Bite her?" The Master snorted and glanced next to him, a wolfish smile appearing on his face as he leaned down to Roka. "Only if you want me to."

She lifted her eyes to him. "Mhm... maybe... Just a little," she teased and hooked a finger into his collar.

He chuckled and let her drag him down to her, but stopped just a breath away from her lips, wearing a roguish grin that instantly made her knees week. Just when Roka thought he would retreat already, did the Master push a little forward and captured her lips in a short but intense kiss that left her flushed and yearning for more.

Only then did she remember River and blushed even more, hiding her face behind the coffee mug.

"Geeze, you two are messed up," the other woman mumbled almost to herself, then halfway threw up her hands to underline her disbelieve. "Like yeah, hell, why not snogging the guy that nearly killed you."

"You know," Roka mumbled towards the Master, impishly smiling. "She does have a point."

"Then don't tell her about last night," he remarked sweetly and deliberately loud enough for everyone to hear.

Roka slapped his arm playfully and eyed their involuntary visitor. "C'mon, let her go. I still want to look for Josh, and you want to fix your TARDIS. And there is still the problem with the dru... well... you know..."

A deep growl came from the Master, his brows knitted together tightly and there was no answer before he had finished his tea. River, meanwhile, sat down on a chair and busied herself with her own mug.

For a moment Roka closed her eyes and leaned her head at the Master's side, not bothering what River might think about it.

"Stop being so snugly, you annoying little human," he grumbled amusedly and raised a hand to ruffle through her hair, then turned to the food machine and let it produce a plate with sandwiches that he pushed into her hands. "Knowing your sloppy self care, I bet you haven't eaten anything, yet. Don't dare following me, before you have."

Leaving a perplex Roka behind the Master rushed out of the room. She eyed the plate and chuckled to herself, enjoying the small meal.

"Want some, too?" she asked River.

"Nah, I already found out how the machine works." She smiled amused. "Sure you'll be alright?"

It took Roka second to comprehend that question, then she let out a laugh and nodded. "Honestly, I think, I've never been more alright than at the moment."

River's gaze was priceless, her eyes turning sad, though and her next words were meant as a fact, not a question. "He will harm you again."

Roka glanced up at the ceiling, letting the words sink in. "Yeah, he will," she eventually uttered and looked the other woman in the eyes. "But that's a small price to pay for what I get in return." She smiled and waved towards the door. "Come, let's get you out, before he gets any ideas."

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

"Good news, human," the Master cheered and clapped his hands as the two women entered. "I found some use for you."

"Of course you wouldn't just let me go." River let out an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes.

The Master chuckled and waved his hand to the door they had just entered through. "Don't whinge. It won't take too long and, right now, we have the same intention."

"Do we now?" she raised a doubtful brow.

"Yes. Come, you two."

He strode past them and they followed, Roka only shrugging clueless when River's gaze met hers. The Master seemed in control of himself at the moment and he probably didn't save River just to harm her now. At least she hoped so.

After a short walk through the TARDIS corridors they entered what clearly was a medbay, fully equipped with alien devices of all sorts and a few beds.

"Told you I wanted to conduct a few tests on you," the Master told Roka with an innocent smile.

Her shoulders slumped a little and a groan escaped her. "I'm _not_ immortal, god dammit!"

"I know, I know." He chuckled and raised his hands in mock-surrender, before he waved her over to a small glass chamber. "Always thinking the worst of me, aren't you?"

"Don't tell me that's surprising."

"Immortal?" River interrupted from behind.

The Master exchanged a quick look with Roka and it wouldn't have needed his mind's nudge against hers to agree on not telling the other woman about what exactly had happened at the crystal. So she only coughed and shrugged.

"Just, err... some running-gag," she evaded. "Would take too long to explain." To the Master she enquired, "And what exactly am I to expect?"

"Tests," he quipped back with a grin that he, however, dropped immediately. "The crystal's energy surged through the very fabric of your existence, if you so will. And there it doesn't matter how long ago that was, it could still have damaged you in some way."

"Do I even _want_ know what exactly you did down there?" River chimed in and crossed her arms. "And what do you need me for, here? I'm not helping you harming her."

Narrowing his eyes to slits the Master trod in front of the woman, bent down - not much, since she was almost as big as him - and gave her a hateful glare. "You will help me making sure Roka isn't harmed, nor will be because of this." He flicked her forehead and immediately rushed back a step when River's hand twitched a little.

From behind Roka giggled at the action, criminally happy about how apparently scared he was of being slapped again.

He hastily straightened and took another few precautionary steps towards a small control table. "Some of those tests might be a little straining to a human body." The impish smile was back in an instant. "Nothing permanently harmful, promise. Just want to make sure, and I'm also a little curious what effects the glitch has left back."

Roka glanced at her hands and took off the thin gloves, earning a sharp hiss from River's direction. It was a disturbing sight, even for Roka herself, even though she knew it wouldn't spread to her whole body anymore.

"Did the crystal do that to you?" the curly woman asked and carefully took one of Roka's hands into her own to observe the floating matter around her fingers.

"No. That's a remnant of the glitch I told you about earlier. My matter lost more and more of its density over the years and, as you can see, it already started to disintegrate my body. The Master stopped it, but he couldn't make undone what already started."

"Which also means your entire atomic structure is probably less stable than it should be," he mused.

"And what does that have to do with the crystal?" River's scepticism was clearly audible.

Roka and the Master exchanged another look, after which he lied, "It's the reason she reacted so strongly to the crystal's energy. I need to know why exactly and how to make sure it won't happen again." Well, at least it was partially the truth. However, Roka was quite sure he also wouldn't mind if he'd find anything useful for himself within her data. "Your job," he continued, "is to press a few buttons for me, so I can read the output in the meantime. You'll also take care Roka won't collapse or anything the like. Can't rely on herself to tell me in time if she doesn't feel well."

His penetrating, accusing stare spoke more than words. Roka cringed a little and poked his side. "I can take a lot more than you give me credit for, you know."

"Yeah, sure," he sneered and bent down to her. "And later I can scratch you from the ground again. Or do you just abuse that to snuggle up on me?"

"Maybe." She poked out her tongue and grabbed his tie to draw him to her. "And it's cute to see how protective you sometimes are."

"Cute?!" he exclaimed and tore himself away with an incredulous look. "Are you kidding me? Take care, little crow, or I'll throw you out together with the other ape."

Roka only giggled at that and obediently let him conduct his tests.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

It took several hours - and a great deal of additional bickering - before they were done with all the tests. By now Roka was happy about the sandwiches she had, her stomach growling in protest from time to time until the Master was finally satisfied with what they had gathered, for now.

River had kept her eyes open the whole time, both to make sure Roka wouldn't get harmed and also because some of the results were extraordinarily interesting, as she claimed.

"Especially your brain scans," she remarked at one point. "It's like your whole brain is wired slightly off. But that's not from any glitch." Curiously she bent left and right to take a proper look at the images and numbers and compared them with some from standard human brains. "Seems more like you were born with it."

"Yeah, the Master noticed that before. Could explain why I'm slightly more sensitive to light and sound, and a little less to pain than other people." Roka shrugged. "Other than that I haven't noticed anything weird. And even the things I named are only very subtle."

The Master trod next to them, head slightly tilted. "I once compared your old scans to those of the human population. Similar patterns occur in your species, although it's not that common. But also not concerningly rare." A mean grin split his lips and he purred, "Can't hardly make you any stranger than you already are."

Roka slapped his arm, but he evaded and, with a quick move, got her in a friendly headlock, ruffling through her short hair with a snicker. She playfully lunged at him, but couldn't reach him in that position and instead tried to kick his shins.

"Okay, okay, I surrender," she eventually giggled, giving up her struggles.

The Master released his hold on her, poking his tongue out. Roka observed him, made sure he seemed unprepared and casually stepped closer, before she swiftly grabbed his collar and his arm and flung him to the ground so fast it even surprised herself a little. Judging by the look she found on River's face, the other woman had awaited this move as less as the Master had. He had landed with a dull 'oof' on his back, blinking a few times surprised before bursting into a childish laugh.

"Totally forgot you can do that," he brought out and sat up, still chuckling to himself.

Roka gave him a smug look, staying guarded as he rose to his feet.

"Geeze, are you done behaving like kids?" River tossed in.

"Oh, I don't know." The Master took his time rolling his head to make his neck crack sickeningly loud. He then cast a roguish look at Roka. "Are we?"

She shrugged. "I had my fun."

Snickering he moved towards her, seemingly on his way back to the monitors, when he stopped midway to grab Roka's collar and pull her flush against him. His teeth blinked through his amused grin and he leaned down to quickly press a kiss to her lips. She winced back in surprise, but then pushed herself against him, savouring the intensity of the moment, the delicious tingling that went through her body.

There was a cough from behind, finally tearing the two apart. River rolled her eyes at them and nodded to the door. "Seeing you two have other things in mind, I guess I'm dismissed?"

Growling the Master retreated a little, although his eyes promised they would resume this. "Yeah, alright. Can't stand your face any longer anyway."

They left to the console room and River gave him some coordinates to drop her off. When the familiar sounds of the TARDIS landing resounded Roka was already at the doors, eager to take a peek outside to see where the mysterious woman would reside. At once her empty stomach was forgotten and only her sense for adventure remained, urging her outside as soon as the doors were willing to open.

The Master wanted to hold her back and grab her collar in the neck, but she was too fast and he had to follow outside, both perplex at the place. Somehow they had ended up on a patch of grass in some small park in London and certainly not in any distant future, by the looks of it.

"Mhm, that's not the right place," the Master grumbled annoyed. "Stupid machine is misbehaving again. Come."

He grabbed Roka's arm to drag her back inside the small wood storage hut the TARDIS had chosen as disguise, but the doors suddenly slammed shut in front of their faces, just as River was about to exit. Then the sound of the engines filled the air again, letting shock and threat surge through the Master and Roka at once as the TARDIS quickly disintegrated into thin air, leaving them both stranded and River still inside.

With a disbelieving look he let go of Roka and only glanced down at her with a dumbfounded expression.

"That... did not just happen, right?" he almost pleaded.

But Roka only could stare at the patch of grass where the TARDIS had stood moments ago, the only thought in her mind wandering to the Vortex Manipulator that still recharged in the console room. There was no way to call the time ship back, no way to jump anywhere else, and no possibility to contact River.

They were trapped on earth.


	16. II - Coincidences and decisions

"Come back, you bloody piece of junk!" the Master suddenly exclaimed and jumped to the patch of grass that had been occupied by his vanished TARDIS. " _You can't do that to me!_ "

He let out a scream, kicked a stick away and let another batch of nasty curses follow, his anger quickly building up to rage. Roka tried to calm him, but none of her words seemed to reach his consciousness, every attempt to reach out to him failed. Eventually he dropped to his knees with his hands clawed into his hair.

"Quiet, quiet," he muttered and crumpled down even more, teeth gritted, eyes pressed shut. "Shut the fuck up!"

Roka squatted down next to him and lay a hand on his arm. "Calm down, please," she pleaded, barely able to cope with his distressed that flooded her mind.

When the Master looked up his eyes slightly twitched, his breath was rapid and for a moment it seemed as if he wasn't entirely aware of where he was. But then he slowly steadied himself, locked eyes with Roka and managed to calm himself just enough. His gaze snapped to the hand on his arm and his expression got puzzled, almost curious.

Roka took her hand away, unsure how to read his glare. "Is... it quiet again?" she instead asked.

"Almost... yeah."

"The remote control still doesn't work, I suppose?"

He shook his head and let out a ragged sigh. "She will come back," he stated almost pleadingly, "she has to! Especially with that bloody woman inside!"

"I don't think River will cause much harm. Last time it seemed she can handle a TARDIS. Maybe she'll get her back?"

"She better will," he growled. "Let's just wait."

Roka huffed. "We can't sit around here forever."

A murderous glare hit her and he sneered, "And what, in your all mighty human wisdom, do you reckon we do?"

"Well," Roka got up and reached a hand down. "First we get some food, because I'm almost starving because of your damn tests. Then we look for a place to stay. And after that I think it would be fun to just mindlessly get drunk somewhere. For a start."

The Master stared at her offered hand, decided to ignore it and rose to his feet, too. "Time Lords don't get drunk so easily," he simply stated and produced a tiny green cube from his pockets that he stuck into the ground. "Will inform us, when she gets back," he explained and nodded towards the buildings nearby. "Go on, then. It's your primitive planet, so lead the way."

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

Roka had been to London several times during her travels. It always was an exciting place to hang around and so she knew a few corners. The first thing on her mind, though, was food, and now they were sitting on red padded benches and stuffed themselves with burgers.

Around them the busy noises of a normal day filled the environment, the people blissfully unaware of the danger sitting amongst them, casually poking a fry into a spot of ketchup. Next to him sat an impressive stack of empty burger boxes and a halfway finished vanilla milkshake.

"Would I eat even half as much, I'd be an elephant by now," Roka uttered and had trouble getting her third cheeseburger down.

The Master stopped poking the ketchup and stuffed the fry into his mouth before he eyed her with a wicket grin. " _You_ barely ever eat enough to sustain yourself."

"'m just not hungry a lot," she grumbled back and managed to down the rest with some cola. "Oof, I'm full."

"You barely ate."

"Hey! That was one Big Mac and three cheeseburgers. Not to mention the fries." She sunk together on the padded bench and sighed content, but then pouted a little. "We should have gone to Burger King instead. They have those amazing fried onions."

A moment later Roka quietly chuckled to herself as she eyed the Master. Even with her age and all her weird experiences, seeing one like him casually sitting inside McDonalds was just _this_ tiny little bit too weird not to be funny.

"At least one of us is having fun," he growled irritated. "Not that I couldn't handle being stuck on this dumpster of a planet, but it's such a bother without a TARDIS."

"You didn't have one the first time we met."

She remembered how he had settled in an old facility, which's basement had once been some kind of alien factory, although the former inhabitants had converted it to a huge junkyard for all sorts of alien tech. Probably collected from raids. It had been fun rummaging through all the stuff, finding the weirdest little gadgets. She also remembered how angry the Master had been when she had tried out a few of them on herself, unbothered by any potential danger.

"Yah, and it was a horrible time." He rolled his eyes, but then cast a glance in Roka's direction and grinned. "You made it so much more bearable."

"Yeeeah, so much so that you stayed much longer than necessary."

"Not my fault that you were so entertaining."

She huffed. "You mean with threatening my life every few minutes? Oh, and the poisoning thing also wasn't nice."

"You'll never forgive me that one, will you?"

"Nope." Roka poked out her tongue through her teeth, a roguish smile glinting in her eyes, that, however, vanished quickly. "So, any preferences where to stay?"

"Preferably not on earth," he growled.

"Well... seems like this isn't an option, right now. We could stay in a hotel a few nights. Or rent a small apartment. I've got more than enough money."

"As if that would happen so fast," the Master grumbled. "All that shitty bureaucracy your species is so proud off makes those things so annoyingly complicated. Believe me, I know it."

"Yeah... you're right..."

Roka grabbed her remaining cola and loudly sucked the content through the straw. They really were in quite the hopeless situation.

"Uh, sorry to bother you," a female voice sounded from behind Roka. She turned around to face a young woman with short, tousled brown hair. "I just came in, but heard you're looking for a place to stay, right?" There was wide, cheeky grin on her lips.

"Err... seems so, yeah," answered Roka and rose a curious brow. "Probably not for too long. At least I hope so."

"And you said you have money." The smile turned into something that could clearly be described as mischief.

Roka took a closer look at the woman. She must be in her early twenties and looked quite boyish with the short hair, no makeup, but therefore a few piercings on her ears and eyebrows. She wore a loose black button up and some dark jeans. Not a Punk, Roka decided, definitely not Goth either, although the dark clothes suited her. The smile was genuine, cheeky, but not in a bad way, so Roka shifted in the seat to sit on her knees and leaned over.

"I'm all ears."

The Master got up and stood next to the two, hands shoved into his pockets and his unwilling eyes fixated on the woman.

"Well... My brother moved out recently. We shared a small house together. Really not big. But now the upstairs room is empty. You'd even have your own bathroom. And uh... Well, I'm just a student. I could need some extra money." The grin was back.

Roka tossed a look in the Master's direction, then scrambled to her feet to stand next to him. The other woman did the same, eyes glistening with hope.

"What do you say?" Roka asked him. "Sounds good to me."

He squinted at the young woman, but not in a way that was meant to scare her. Still she faltered a little in his presence, becoming visibly unnerved by him.

"I... know it's rude to be so direct. People always tell me that." She glanced away and smiled sheepishly back at Roka. "It's really just that. I could need a little extra. And you wouldn't bother me, really."

"Alright," the Master decided, suddenly putting on his politician smile. "Can't get any worse anyway."

The woman giggled, obviously a little uncertain if that was meant as a joke. But his charming smile seemed to reassure her. "Oh, I'm Cassandra, by the way. Everyone calls me Cassy, though." She stretched out her hand. "And you two are?"

"Roka," she introduced herself, taking the hand. "And he is th..."

"Matt," the Master answered quickly, but denied the handshake.

"Alright!" Cassy clapped her hands. "Guess I'll get my food as takeaway then. Don't want you two uselessly sitting around while I stuff my face with junk."

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

Cassy was a chatty person. On the short, probably ten minute walk, she told about how she was studying psychology, that her mom hated her for it, but her best friend loved it all the more.

"She's at my place a lot," Cassy told with a wide smile. "Don't be bothered by her. She's a nice and quiet person. Not much like myself, actually." She giggled.

Roka listened all the way, strangely fascinated by the ordinary life Cassy was describing. How she wanted to become a psychology teacher, how she hoped to visit Paris one day, how she thought about getting a cat. All these things were so meaningless to Roka, but hearing about it - as if they were the most important thing in a person's life - it stirred something unpleasant in her.

Her bubble popped when a hand slid into hers, and when she glanced up, she knew she would never want to give up what she had for another life. It wouldn't make her as happy as travelling with him. Which was weird and irresponsible, considering he had vowed to never hurt her, only to then almost causing her death. Even when it had been due to the drums and his old resurfacing madness, there was no way of telling if he wouldn't do her harm for the _right_ wrong reasons.

But what if the TARDIS wouldn't reappear? What if they were stuck on earth forever? Would they have to cope with this normality? Would he go insane from it? Would _she_? Would her money be enough to get by for the next twenty years? The next hundred? How often would they have to move away and start from zero so no one would notice that they didn't age like the rest?

"What's bothering you?" the Master asked in a calm tone, however interrupting whatever the other woman had been rambling on about.

"Oh, you don't look too good," Cassy remarked concerned.

Only then did Roka notice how her breath had quickened, how her pulse was slightly racing her eyes twitched from one person to the other before resting on the Master.

"I don't want to be stuck," she breathed, fighting away the stubborn tears in her eyes. "I... I can't do that, Ma... tt." Luckily she remembered his fake name in time, suddenly realizing why he had chosen it. Her chest felt like someone had put a knot in her lungs. "This can't work. How do we even..."

"And there you were scolding _me_ for overreacting," he grumbled with a teasing look. "Took you quite a while to catch up. I mean, hey, it's only been two hours or so."

"Hey, don't be mean," Cassy interrupted. "Some people just take a little longer." She held up an explaining finger. "It's called delayed emotional reaction. I read about it. Whereas people usually feel something instantaneously, others postpone their reaction, so to speak."

They both glared perplex at the young woman. Especially Roka, now suddenly looking back at so many occasions where this had happened. A hand on her shoulder tore her out of the surprise, wandered down to her side and drew her against the Master. She glanced up at him, saw reassurance in his warm hazel eyes as he enveloped her in his arms.

"Be strong, little crow. I need you on this, okay?"

Immediately Roka felt her pulse slowing, the previous panic ebbing away. She closed her eyes and snuggled against his side, his warmth seeping into her and also a little into her mind.

She wasn't alone.

Reality hit back only seconds later as there was a hardly suppressed squeal from Cassy. "Oh my gosh, you two are adorable," she blurted out and snapped both hands in front of her mouth, her gaze wandering carefully up to the Master, awaiting his death glare.

She probably received it, judging by how small and silent she was for the remaining minutes. Roka nudged the Master's side, nodding her eyes in Cassy's direction as if to tell him, to not harm her. The only answer was a boyish smirk.

Roka calmed down from her small sudden panic attack and tried her best to move her mind away from all the mean and equally horrifying scenarios her imagination was all too willingly putting together for her to _enjoy_.

Before they arrived at their destination, though, Cassy turned around once more, a little shyer than before. "I..." she dragged out the letter, her eyes darting back and forth between the two, deliberately avoiding the Master's glare though, "I'm in no place to ask what exactly happened to you. Buuut... You have nothing. I mean, nothing at all, not even luggage, and I'm actually about to invite two complete strangers into my home." Another look towards the Time Lord silently added, _one of them which probably is going to eat me_.

"Fret not, we come in peace," Roka shot out with a stern face and promptly stretched her hand out to show the greeting sign of Star Trek's Vulcans.

A silent second stretched, then Cassy let out another squeal and her eyes lit up like candles. "Can you mind read?" she enquired with a grin. "Oh my god, I love those series so much!"

"Errr, no. Just noticed the star fleet pin on your bag." Roka smiled back and nodded. "Guess you want to know if we can actually pay, right?"

Cassy nodded slowly, another quick look shooting towards the Master.

"Okay, let's get to a bank then. Busyness first and all, right? Oh and..." She thumped at the Master. "He might look scary, but if he does so much as harm a hair on you, I'll let him regret it forever."

"Oi!" he protested, pursed his lips and knitted his brows together. "I'm not stupid. Never eat the human that lets you sleep in their house."

"It's more like, _never bite the hand that feeds you_ ," Roka quipped, "but I'll let that count." Her tongue shot out, followed by a teasing smile.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

The Master let out an appreciative whistle when he glanced over Roka's shoulder at the ATM's screen.

"Someone did some heavy cheating there, haven't we?"

"Maaaybe hopped a little around and abused a few... fluctuations, yes," she admitted with a smirk and stepped away to get the money from the banker instead. The amount was just too high for the machine. "How comes you have a clue how much this is worth?" Roka teased.

The Master folded his arms and grinned, bending a little down to her. "I was your Prime Minister not too long ago. I know how things work."

"Riiigh... almost forgot."

Cassy was waiting outside for them, impatiently fidgeting from one leg to the other. Her eyes went wide and round as coins when Roka pushed an envelope into her hands that contained a few thousand bucks.

"Should be enough for a start," she said sweetly, enjoying the disbelieving look.

"B... but... Holy shit!" Cassy exclaimed, snapping her mouth shut immediately. Quickly she stuffed the envelope into her pant pocket. "Why do you want to stay with me? I mean... you could just go everywhere probably. Maybe... In case that weren't your last savings."

The Master grunted as if that was the stupidest question he had heard in a long time. "You could say we got dumped. And in case she gets back I don't want to be at the other end of the world. Although," he threw a disgusted look at the city around, "wouldn't have minded if she had dropped us someplace else."

"I'm not much of a fan of hotels and such," Roka shrugged.

Another reason was that she liked meeting new people, now that she finally had the opportunity for it. Some days it surprised her how much she had gotten used to being visible, already, others she was completely startled when someone suddenly spoke to her out of nowhere. There was still a long way ahead and Roka wanted to grab every opportunity she could get.

"Besides," she held a finger up, "Never underestimate coincidence."

Cassy chuckled. "Yeah, I came right in time, didn't I? Okay, we can just see how it works out for a while. Does that sound good? I mean... I'll give you back the rest of the money if you want to leave, of course."

"Deal." Roka grinned back.

It wasn't as if she had planned to take any of the money back, regardless of what would happen. But sounding too generous could cause trouble on the long run, so she stayed careful. People couldn't be trusted, after all.

They finally reached Cassy's house. The young woman let them inside and rummaged around in a small bowl on the dresser that stood in the narrow hallway. Roka slid past her and took some curious glances around. Directly next to her was the door to the kitchen, plus living space. It was a single, big room, divided by a counter. There was a comfy, blue sofa, a few book shelves, a TV and some decoration. A lonely plant sat next to the door to a small garden.

Back in the hallway Cassy shoved keys into Roka's hands. "Good thing I have two spares left. Come, I show you the upstairs."

She quickly moved past the door to the living area. Directly next to it sat the staircase, leading upwards. Next to that were two more doors that probably lead to the lower bathroom and Cassy's bedroom. They climbed the steps and found themselves in another narrow hallway that looked almost identical to the one below.

"Here's the bathroom. Shower plus bathtub, you're lucky." Chuckling she opened a door to her left, allowing them a quick glance, before she waved them over to the second door. "It's not the biggest place, I admit, but it's roughly as big as my living room. You shouldn't have any problems."

It was indeed spacious, the floor softened by a bluish grey carpet. Directly under the roof slope sat a wide bed without sheets or blankets, yet. Next to it a small nightstand with an old lamp. Then there was a big leather couch, some empty shelves for books and other stuff, a TV stand that even had a device still on it. In the middle stood a rectangular coffee table. Lastly, in front of the window, they found a desk and an office chair, probably the remnants of a gamer corner.

The Master didn't say a word. He only strode in, hands in his pockets and observing every nook and cranny.

"Uhh..." Cassy eyed the room cautiously, awaiting their judgement. "I'll get you some blankets and sheets and everything. I... uh... Well, there is only that one bed. But shouldn't be a problem, right?" She chuckled a little nervously. "I mean, he's your boyfriend after all, so..."

Roka winced subtly at her words, stopping dead in her tracks from observing the room. Her eyes darted towards the Master, who strode over, his broad grin indicating he had overheard everything.

"W...w... well... I mean... uh..." Roka stuttered, completely at a loss for words. "Tha... that's... I... never thought about it."

The Master bumped against her back, wrapping his arms over her shoulder and resting his chin on her head. She could practically _feel_ his childish grin through their connection and it made her flush bright red, her heartbeat quickening even more than her small panic attack from before had managed.

"Oh!" Cassy called out. "I really thought you were together. It seemed like it."

The Master hummed happily and purred, "You thought right. My little crow just doesn't want to admit it.

"That's not true!" Roka squeaked.

"Iiiii...'ll get the blankets, okay?" The other woman quickly left the room.

Roka squirmed in the Master's arms until he let her turn around, the boyish grin still grazing his face. His lips curled in a mocking pout. "I thought you wanted me."

"I do!" The words came out so quick it surprised even herself, made her chuckle. "It's just... I never thought about it, you know. I mean... how to call this."

"Mhm... Well, we're stuck on earth, we can as well use human terms." He grinned even wider, the tip of his tongue poking out between his teeth.

"That's not the point." Roka glanced down and idly played with a button on his shirt. "It just sounds so... weird. Final."

His fingers gingerly slid under her chin, pushed a little to make her look up. Her uncertain eyes met his that were filled with a mixture of possessiveness, warmth and still this boyish joy. "You are _mine_ ," he uttered determinedly. "No matter what you think or do." Leaning down to her he brushed her nose, eyes boring into hers, his voice dropping an octave. "And I can be yours, if you wish."

She swallowed, unable to speak as she got consumed by the intensity of his stare. A man like him, a creature superior to herself in almost every possible way, a man who travelled time and space for far longer than she had even lived, who did not halt or falter, no matter what he had done or wanted to do. And here he was, offering himself to her, a mere human.

Her hands reached up to cradle his face and she moved in a little closer. "I want you to be mine, Master," she whispered and closed the distance, initiating a tender kiss.

He broke it after a moment, eyes glinting as he spoke, "Out of the question."

"Wha'? You just said...!"

"Oh, come on. You know my hearts belong to the stars," he teased. "You said it yourself, once."

Roka squinted her eyes impishly at him and swiftly grabbed his blood red tie. "I'm not giving you a choice." She tapped against his chest. "So you better make some space for me in there."

"Mhm... maybe. In a century or so."

His chuckle got interrupted as Roka tugged at the tie to draw him near enough for another kiss. He grinned against her lips, responded in a way that could only be interpreted as possessiveness, determined to not let her breathe until she had to push him away to gasp for air. His forehead dropped against hers and he glared at her with half closed lids.

"You think I can do that?" he uttered.

Roka looked up at him, a warm smile spreading on her face that made his hearts annoyingly jumpy and warm. "It scares you, doesn't it?" Her fingers finally released the tie and spread over his chest. "I can feel it."

The Master scowled. He really should get rid of that connection. Instead he hummed affirmatively and enclosed her hand in his own.

"I have no idea how to deal with this, honestly," Roka admitted. "I'm probably a lot more clueless than you are." She chuckled lightly. "But I think you can... if you want to." A mischievous glint wandered to her eyes. "So, you want to be my Master?"

The grin stole itself on his lips on its own.

"I do."


	17. II - A drink or ten (E)

"You said something about getting drunk," the Master remarked, stuffing one end of the bedsheet under the mattress.

Roka threw a freshly sheeted pillow in his direction and grabbed the next one. It was a little strange doing this ordinary thing for the first time since... well... She had to think about it for a moment, but was rather sure she hadn't have to sheet a bed since she had left her parents at the age of eighteen.

Come to think of it... she wondered if the Master had _ever_ done something as mundane. From what she knew he had grown up in a noble family, and the Time Lord academy surely didn't let students make their own beds. And then? After he left the planet? Aside from the Doctor's tellings and a few vague remarks on the Master's side she still knew almost nothing about his life.

Weird actually, considering how old he was. Which brought her back to his question. Maybe she could coax a few stories out of him.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, it was more of a joke, but why not?"

"Because I don't get drunk." He chuckled and caught the next pillow from Roka.

"Then why do you even ask?"

"You need some fun. Human kind of fun," he decided and neatly folded the blankets over the bed.

So neatly, in fact, that Roka was certain he didn't do this for the first time. The Master noticed her stare, or maybe even felt her puzzled emotions. He glanced up at her, lifting a brow.

"What?"

Roka winced a little and opened her mouth to respond, but closed it as she got aware of how stupid her thoughts must sound to him. But, since the Master was done with the bed, he simply strolled over and towered above Roka with a slightly curious smirk.

"C'mon, tell me."

"Uh... it's..." Roka looked at her shoes, unsure how to put it into words, then decided to bluntly say what she thought before. "That must sound so weird, but I didn't think you... ever had to make a bed. But you do it like it's second nature..."

A chuckle made her look up again and she saw his eyes crinkle with honest amusement. "I've been stuck in lots of places. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not." The smile slowly faded, got replaced by an expression somewhere between nostalgic and sad, his voice adopted a softer tone and he glanced away as if to hide his face from Roka. "I lived a thousand lives already, called countless places home and too many people friends."

Roka waited for him to continue, unsure what to answer. She knew the Doctor had never stayed for longer than necessary in one place, whereas the Master had. However, he rarely, if ever, talked about those times, or the people involved.

"It all ends, sooner or later," he uttered, almost more to himself. "Places whither or get destroyed, people die or turn themselves against you." There was a pause, his face contorted in pain that was so strong Roka could feel it herself. He looked back at her. She saw the gnawing loneliness in his eyes, that had been there as long as she knew him. "Or I destroy them myself."

Roka inched closer to the Master, carefully splayed her fingers over his hearts, wishing she was able to slip into his mind like he could, to soothe his pain. All she could do was to eventually wrap her arms around him and resting her head on his chest.

"You can't destroy me," she mumbled.

A deep sigh went through his whole body as he snaked his arms around her, one hand stroking her hair, his chin resting on her head for a while.

"I can. I probably will. I already hurt you. You know it will happen again."

There was so much pain and regret in his voice it made Roka's heart clench hurtfully. And for a second she felt it, all of it. The accumulated loneliness and anguish of centuries, sorrow and grief and longing for what he could never reach, a bottomless pit of swirling darkness in the depths of his very being. Her eyes filled with tears and only then did she get aware that his emotions were suddenly flooding into her as if he had lost all control over their connection.

Roka started to shake, a sob escaped her and she clutched him tighter. Or at least tried to, as he suddenly shoved her away.

"What's wrong?" he asked perplex, obviously unaware of what was happening.

"H... how can you..." Another sob shook her. "How can you bare this? I... I feel it. All of it. All of _you_."

Slowly his eyes widened in surprise, turning to shock. His hands shot up to her temples, thumps pushing firmly against them. "It got too strong. You're not supposed to feel any of this."

"But how... Master. How can you...?"

A sad smile stole itself on his face and he kissed her forehead gingerly. "I don't. I'm insane, remember?"

That made her huff, the short laugh almost breaking through the stream of emotions. The Master leaned down and captured her lips in a short, sweet kiss, before he drew her against his chest. "I have to disband our connection, little crow."

"What?! No, don't!" She clutched his wrists and wanted to shove him away.

"It's necessary. Seems like I can't control any longer what goes where. And that's too much of a risk." A humourless chuckle went through his chest. "You feel right here and now what happens then. It will only get worse."

"But I don't want to lose you."

"Silly, you won't." His thumbs pushed a little firmer against her head. "Heh, you know, we could just b..." There was a pause. A long one. Roka felt his hesitation, his desire, his doubt and also his fear. Eventually he shook his head. "No. Bad idea. Close your eyes, Roka. Relax."

She knew he was right, but everything in her rebelled against the thought of losing their connection. A new sob sent a shiver through her body, this time not stemming from his emotions but from her own. However, she calmed herself and did how she was told, feeling the familiar energy of his presence slip into her mind easily. The Master found his way around quickly and once more she saw before her mental eye the golden band of light between them, glowing bright and strong now, almost blindingly. But then the light faded, slowly dimmed, together with everything she felt from him, until there was nothing left but herself. The Master was there, too, for a short moment, before he carefully retreated, leaving her with a strange emptiness in her mind.

Roka felt numb, the world seemed to have lost the brightness of its colour, the vibrancy of its sounds. She felt relived and lighter without the flood of emotions, and at the same time heavy and cold by the sudden loneliness that now occupied the space in her mind. She felt his lips on her own, slow and warm and drawing her out of the darkness.

"I'm sorry," the Master uttered. "I liked it too. But I need you alive and well for as long as I can have you."

"I think... having a drink or ten sounds like a good idea."

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

"You don't look too good," Cassy remarked worriedly. "Sure you want to go partying of all things?"

"I only wanted to get drunk. The club thing was Matt's idea." Roka thumbed at the Master and squinted at him.

"Don't look at me like that." He laughed and tousled her hair. "You need some fun. I too."

"Well, in that case, and since you don't seem to be too short on money... there are a few places I have at least heard of. Probably a better choice than those teeny-overflown clubs."

They ended up in a place Roka didn't bother to remember its name. The interior was dark and flickered with lights, pulsating to the loud music. Lots of people were around, dancing or standing around tables to chat - however they managed to do that over the music. In the middle was a large bar, with alcohol-filled shelves and stools in front of it. And on the edges of the club, a little away from the dance floors, were a bunch of actual seats, padded benches around tables; some of those hidden behind soft, satin curtains.

The Master talked to a guy in uniform nearby and he led them to one of those private corners, leaving them with a card and an inviting smile.

Roka was glad to be a bit separated from the ruckus of the club. All the lights and movements and the loudness overwhelmed her slightly, making her wonder why people visited places like this, in the first place. But maybe that was the whole deal, getting lost in a flush of colours and letting your mind be overrun by impressions until you weren't able to do much more than to become part of the pulsating mass.

A snickering next to her tore her out of those musings.

"Don't tell me you never went dancing," the Master teased.

"Uh... Well... Not so really. It feels pointless alone." Luckily it was just quieter enough here so she wouldn't have to scream.

Her eyes fell on the thin curtain, watching the pulsating lights dancing on the cloth. She had to imagine drug deals and similar things going on in alcoves like these. Very suited for a villain and his companion.

"What's so funny?" the Master asked smiling at her sight.

"'S just... I had to think about how you want to pull some kind of Mafia stunt in this corner. It's so... cliché." She giggled and nudged him with her elbow.

His grin broadened, but he shook his head. "No. I just thought a slightly quieter corner might help. Since your senses are so delicate sometimes and you're not used to so much stuff going on."

"Oh... thanks," Roka made surprised and slid a little closer to him.

The Master, though, shoved her away and took her hand. "No snuggling!" he demanded laughing. "We're here to have some fun. Come on, don't be shy."

Roka pursed her lips and slid from the seat to follow him into the crowd. They made their way over to the bar, where the Master ordered a few cocktails for them. Meanwhile she glared at the dancing people, swaying and hopping to the music. She barely noticed a young guy treading next to her.

"Hey there," he greeted smiling, "want a drink?"

"Eh... no," Roka hurried to decline. "I'm already getting some."

"Haha, okay, but you surely can have a little dance with me, right?" The bloke stretched out his hand to take her arm, the playful smile hinting at no ill intend.

For a split second she contemplated just throwing him to the floor, but that might be a little harsh. Instead she only shook her head, symbolizing disinterest until he shrugged and left her alone. She eyed the bar and saw the tender hadn't even started pouring their drinks.

"Not your type, eh?" another voice asked loudly over the music.

"Wut?" She turned her head to see a smaller guy with glasses next to her. He seemed not so comfortable in this environment, but still enough to give her a playful wink.

"Not dancing with you either," Roka called back, but couldn't help a small smile.

"Aaaaw, not even once?"

"No, get lost." She chuckled shyly, happy to see the Master returning. "My company is back anyway."

One look from the approaching Time Lord was enough to let the guy rush away and Roka found herself with a drink in hands shortly after. It was sweet and fruity and colourful.

"Geeze, can't they just dance on their own?" she groaned, but then enjoyed the taste of her cocktail.

"Get used to it, now that they can all see you."

"As if there weren't enough other people around."

The Master raised a brow, then started to grin. "You're not getting it, do you?"

"Getting what?"

He chuckled and stroked his thumb over her cheek. "You're a pretty one. They want you."

The drink was forgotten as she stared at him in disbelieve, feeling a blush creeping up her neck already. It made him laugh even harder.

"You always claimed I weren't," she mumbled, only loud enough for his fine ears to hear.

"It's fun teasing you, love." He raised his glass to her, then downed it in one go.

Roka took it a little slower, although not much, her mind still busy with the fact that he found her pretty. It hadn't even occurred to her, since she really made no effort looking particularly good. At least for human standards. And with her boyish haircut and her love for hoodies she really hadn't thought anyone would find her attractive in any way.

There was a tapping against her head. Roka blinked upwards, meeting the Master's amused grin, before she realized her drink was emptied. He picked it out of her hands and then shoved her into the dancing crowd without another word.

Admittedly she was at a loss here. The way people moved seemed like they had all gone into some kind of trance, induced by alcohol and maybe drugs and way too much mindlessness. She couldn't imagine ever letting go of herself so much to hop and sway around like this. The Master nudged her, poked her side to make her jump a little and grinned widely as she tried to punch him for it. She let him take her hands and guide her a little, moving to the music not in anything that could be called a proper dance, but in a way that felt weirdly natural. He, though, performed a bunch of silly moves around her, making Roka giggle and try some of her own.

She probably would never find the same kind of joy in this like other humans did, but here and together with the Master it made her forget about everything for a while. here and there she found a new drink that he shoved into her fingers. Mostly shots, sometimes a cocktail when they took a pause together in their alcove.

Roka loosened up a little over time, her movements becoming a little bolder. It probably was the alcohol, or maybe just the fact that they were mostly goofing around, but she found the time flying by rapidly.

The next thing she found in her hands, though, was a glass of water. She only recognized it after a few sips and blinked confused at it, then at the Master. He only laughed.

"I know you're far from being drunk. But I don't want you to collapse on me."

Roka let out a huff and downed the whole glass in a few big gulps, before putting it on one of the tables and turning back to the Master. "I'd rather do something else on you," she mumbled sarcastically, absolutely unsure if he even heard it.

The alcohol in her blood definitely had an effect already, letting her mind wander to places she'd rather have her hands, right now. Maybe it wouldn't be so unwise to stick to water for the rest of the evening. But then again, where would be the fun in that?

The Master also wouldn't let her, having way too much fun downing one shot after the other together with her.

"It's so unfair that you don't get drunk!" she eventually exclaimed, laughing and playfully slapping his side.

He chuckled and grinned broadly. "I do. Believe it or not. But it takes a lot longer and I need to _let_ it happen."

Roka leaned forwards, took the shot glass out of his hands and downed it herself, while nestling against him. "Do you, right now?" Her face lit up in a daring grin.

"Just a little. Someone needs to take care of you, after all."

"Mhm... yah, Master. Take care of me." She chuckled.

The current song was a tad bit slower and she draped both her hands on his chest, right above his hearts, while swaying in tact to the music. Moments later her fingers glided down a little, slid over muscles beneath cloth. Their gazes met, letting an amused twinkle appear in his eyes. His hands grabbed her sides firmly, resting on her hips and drawing her flush against him with a smirk, his look daring her. And she played along, boldly moving her body against his, their eyes locked, his fingers digging into her sides. He hissed when she ground her hips against his, when her hands slid down from his chest to rest on his arms.

The Master bent down, captured her lips in a sudden, searing kiss without ever stopping their motions. "You're playing dangerous here, little crow," he chuckled into her ear.

"Don't think so," she retorted sarcastically. "You can control yourself, after all."

He mock-scowled at her, stubbornness fighting with the darkness in his eyes. Roka rubbed against him some more, almost more out of curiosity at how much he actually would endure before snapping. Because whatever control he always claimed to have clearly had already went south. Literally. She dropped her forehead against his chest and giggled to herself, tipsy and also proud that she could do that to him.

The mix of music and alcohol and hormones clouded her perception once more, as they both continued to tease and mock each other. Their game only got interrupted as he intended to devour her mouth, pulling her so hard against him that she couldn't move any longer; his tongue doing things to her that clearly should be forbidden. She groaned into his mouth, pressing herself just a little more against his evident erection, fully aware that everyone could watch them.

Then she was pushed backwards. Cloth glided over her head and fell down behind them as they manoeuvred into their alcove. The music and sounds dimmed only a little, lights flickered through the closed curtains. Roka's back hit the wall and she groaned once more as the Master pushed his weight against her, the kiss intensifying. Her restless hands stroked over his chest. It rapidly rose up and down beneath her fingers, his heartbeat drumming as wildly as her own, pulsating with the music.

Somehow she managed to throw a quick glance at the velvet cloth, making sure it properly hid them from sight.

"Afraid someone could walk in?" the Master teased and nipped at her neck.

"Dunno." She gripped his shoulders, trying to hold back a shudder - and failing miserably. "Just kill everyone who dares, yeah?"

He snorted and giggled childishly against her skin. His eyes were dark and hungry and amused when he looked up, his lips teasingly hovering above hers, lightly touching when he spoke. "You must be really drunk to say that."

"'S Your fault," she let out breathy, panting and trying to catch his lips. "Shuddup now."

His eyes twinkled dangerously and also highly amused at her unusually demanding behaviour. He yielded, gently bit down on her lower lip. He kissed her slow and sensually. Each touch made her a little more desperate. Roka let her hands slide down, tracing over his arms and his fingers that dug into her own skin, then further down to his pants where she cupped his bulge and made him gasp. His mouth left hers, instead devoting itself to leaving a burning trail along her throat and more than one mark on her skin. She massaged him firmly, satisfied smirking when she felt him grow to his full size.

He grabbed her hands, tore them away from him, held them both over her head with only one of his own. His gaze met hers for a long moment, his eyes now being almost black from the lack of visible iris. "Told you to be careful," he breathed out. His free hand fiddled with the button of her jeans.

She only grinned back, a tingling slithering down her spine at the sense of delicious danger he was radiating right now. "Careful isn't fun," was all she managed to tease back. Another groan left her lips as his fingers slid into her pants, then into herself. He almost drove her crazy for a few moments, but then stopped. Patience seemed to be short on his end, too.

The Master let go of her hands, yanking her jeans along with her underwear down to her ankles. Roka used her newly gained freedom to unbutton his own pants and freed his erection from the restrains of his boxers.

There was no time for any more, as she suddenly got grabbed under her butt and lifted up to be pushed up against the wall. She automatically wrapped her legs around him, slightly biting into the crook of his neck in the same motion. Someone brushed the curtain from outside, loud chattering ringing through to them for a moment, reminding her where they still were. But Roka was too far gone to care.

The Master immediately distracted Roka, sucked at her collar bone, nipped at her skin there while simultaneously burying himself completely inside her with one smooth motion. She let out an unheard moan, clawed her nails into his skin, urging him to move. His lips found hers again. He kissed her fiercely as he build up a fast rhythm, all of their noises being swallowed by the loud music. He held her against the wall with only one arm, his other hand resting next to her head to steady himself.

Two people stopped close to them, started to chat so loud they could almost make out their words. The Master slowed his pace, only a little, but adding a weirdly addictive intensity to it. Roka clenched her hands around his upper arms, tore her eyes away from the curtain, unaware they had even wandered there. She let out a short yelp, when the Master pushed into her hard and sudden, a grin on his lips when she gave him a warning look.

His sight made her forget about the world around, though, the blond hair clinging to his forehead, eyes completely black, closing slowly. She got hyper aware of his strong arms holding them in place, of the hard wall in her back, only offering enough space for them to stand there. Her lids fluttered shut, the chattering vanished, and his lips found hers again, his skin hot and damp against hers.

The kiss got sloppy, stopped completely when his forehead dropped against Roka's, his eyes closed and his breath getting more ragged with every time he pushed into her. The sight made Roka spiral up even faster, the friction in this position too perfect. Her fingers dug harder into his shirt and his skin beneath it and she shattered around him in a wave of pleasure that drowned out the music for more than just a few seconds. She felt the Master grunt into the crook of her neck as he pushed a few last times into her, shivering pleasantly as his own release washed over him, making her wonder how he managed to keep them both upright any longer.

Roka stroked through his hair, pulled his head up for another tender kiss after some moments. They stayed like this for a short while, then the Master sat her down to the ground.

Suddenly he grinned and peered at her with boyish mischief. "I really don't _want_ to control myself," he stated. "Not with you."

Only then did he retreat to tug himself away. Roka picked up her pants from the ground, trying to remember where the toilet had been. She still was a little shaky, now felt the effects of the alcohol even more.

The Master slid his arm around her hip, drew her against his side with a smirk. "I honestly thought you'd bolt."

Giggling she dropped her head against his shoulder, facing up to him. "Seems you have to learn a few things about me. Just..." she poked him playfully, "...let's not get more public than this, okay."


	18. II - Searching for patterns

_It hurt. It was pain in its rawest form, pain he had never before felt in his life and never would again. Time was burning in his mind, drilling into his soul and his very being. He flinched, somehow still aware of his surroundings and the watching Time Lords. He wouldn't falter, wouldn't run._

_So he stood, and he watched._

_And he heard it._

_He shut his eyes to listen, to determine what it was, but it wasn't necessary. The sound washed over him in a sudden, all consuming wave, swallowed him hole and let him scream in painful agony._

_Drumming._

_It was the sound of drums, tearing him apart from the inside, repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating. Four times. Always four times._

_Fingers were on his small shoulders, on his hands, ripping them away from his tears smeared face. Gravel was digging into his knees. He glared into the curious watching faces of robed figures, unable to remember their names or purposes. They dragged him to his feet, said something._

_"I think that one broke."_

_Perplex he blinked, realizing he could hear the voice clearly, despite the drumming in his head. The thought was like an anchor, a lifeline he clung to._

_And the noise faded._

_For a moment he thought it was gone completely, but when he closed his eyes and listened, it was still there, lingering in the back of his head, waiting, lurking, like a predator._

_The Time Lords pushed him away from the Untempered Schism. For another long moment he refused to move, an unexplainable urge almost forcing him to look back. To take just another peek inside._

_There had been so much power!_

_It could all be his if he only let it happen._

_But the adults already pushed him away, dragged and shoved him towards the one Time Lord that would decide his fate. He was clad in the richest red robes, his posture showing absolute power and control. And contempt._

_"Ah," Rassilon made and clicked his tongue with a disgusted look on his face. "The little spawn of Lord Oakdown. It's not a surprise you failed the trial,_ womb-born _." He spat out the last word as if it were a poison. Then a gloating grin spread on his lips. "Maybe your father will finally get rid of you now."_

_"He screamed something about drums in his head, Sir," one of the Time Lords said._

_They wouldn't let him visit the academy. He knew it. They would doom him to be an outcast, to live among the common people. A mere peasant, instead of a mighty Time Lord._

_If he would survive his father's wrath._

_"Bring him home!" Rassilon boomed with a smile. "We won't taint our pupils with this mad stain."_

_"I'm not mad!" Anger rushed through his veins like hot acid, making his eyes spark with their blue fire. "And I'm not a stain! I'm better than all of you!"_

_Silence spread among the adults, Rassilon cast a cold gaze at the boy in front of him, then he stepped closer, towered above the child with nothing but hatred in his eyes._

_"You dare to-"_

_"There's no drumming!" the boy continued hastily before anyone would be able to shut him up. "It was only... my heartbeat that I heard."_

_His small body was shaking, from anger, from fear. He tried to get it under control, succeeded even. But he was still so, so afraid. Rassilon spoke forth again, his voice almost a whisper and like a snarl at the same time._

_"Then tell me... what is it the Vortex gave to you if not madness?"_

_The shaking stopped. The drums hammered in the back of his mind, calling him, tempting, screeching, roaring, promising. Promising... power. He could feel it, the strength they were giving him. The mastering of minds, the command over thoughts and psyche._

_"Control," the boy whispered back, never averting his gaze._

_Rassilon's laugh echoed in his head, almost overshadowing the drumming. He heard the laugh all his way back to his father's mansion, heard it throughout the night when the beats of four wouldn't let him sleep, heard it long after he had entered the academy even._

_One day he would make it stop._

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

Roka blinked her tired eyes open, her gaze wandering into the darkness of the room. She remembered where they were, stuck on earth. She remembered the past evening and how much fun it had been, although now her head hurt badly. Then she remembered the dream and finally realized what was wrong with it.

Their connection was gone.

So why had she seen another of the Master's memories? And she was pretty sure it had been one, since the whole scene was completely unfamiliar to her. It must have been his initiation, the moment the drums had started to torment his mind, only to do so for the rest of his life. Even now, when they actually should be gone, but somehow weren't.

Roka sighed and snuggled into the Master's arms, slipping under his blanket to get even a little closer. He lay still, breathing regularly. She hoped the drums would let him rest, since he had told they were haunting him in his sleep.

"No, they're quiet," he mumbled sleepily, without opening his eyes. Only his arms snaked around her and pulled her flush against him.

"I... didn't say that out loud," Roka uttered back, completely perplexed.

The Master stiffened immediately, his arms squeezing her for a second.

"What?" Now his voice sounded wide awake.

"You... just answered something I only thought. And I think I dreamed another memory of yours, before. But how? I thought..."

He stopped squeezing her and instead slid to her head to cradle it in his palms, thumbs already on her temples, but he hesitated to access her mind. They lay there like this for a moment, staring into each other's eyes as if anyone would have an answer. Or maybe just to be sure they were still together. Roka shuffled a little closer, wanted to rest her head against his, wanted to simply snuggle up a bit more.

At last they lay chest to chest, feet entangled a little. The Master inched his head forward, captured her lips gently and slowly, waiting for her response that came without hesitation. He then took her hands and held them up to his own head, near his temples. Roka retreated and looked at him, puzzled. Her hands twitched back, but the Master held them in place.

"You can initiate that, too, you know," he muttered against her lips.

"Bu... but I'm only human," she protested meekly. "We're barely psychic and I'm untrained and..."

"Please," he breathed softly. "Try."

"Phew... okay."

Carefully she curled her fingers, lightly pushed her thumbs against his temples as he usually did with her. Somehow she awaited to feel something, a spark, or a sting maybe. But there was just nothing. She breathed out a disappointed sigh, but still tried to focus her mind on his, on her own, imagined how her consciousness flew from her head through her veins, into her hands and fingers and from there into his mind.

Something clicked. As if what she did was simply and utterly _right_. A part of her connected with a part of him, got woven together like two strands of light, swirling around the other, gently touching, caressing. She sighed again, this time because it felt so amazing, although in ways she couldn't even begin to describe. Her lips found his again and each touch was amplified a thousand times, igniting a spark inside her body, but more so in her mind, that urged her to continue, to deepen the connection more. It was like being sucked into a tornado of emotions and memories and impressions and thoughts, intermingling with her own, making it impossible for her to discern what belonged to whom.

A tender warmth engulfed her mind eventually, or maybe it had only been a second. The Master caught her gently, shielded her from the flood of impressions and brought her back to herself, where she could at least remember that she was a separate being. Only then could she feel his thumbs on her own temples, his chest rising and falling rapidly, hearts hammering fast against his ribs.

"That feels amazing," she breathed out shakily.

She felt a rush of raw happiness in her chest, not stemming from herself. He smiled softly.

"It does. I almost feared it would be different for you."

A sudden, deep longing spread in her, to dive right back in, to explore the depths of his being, getting lost in his energy, being consumed by the swirl of emotions and images, becoming one with it. But he wouldn't let her, kept them both far enough apart. The question slipped into her consciousness why he had insisted on her starting it, but it dawned fast on her.

"This is important to you, isn't it?"

He hummed confirming.

Another flush of happiness rushed through her veins, making her smile. "It's not... a thing you do often, right?"

"It has the same significance as us lying here so snuggled up," he calmly explained, brushing her lips. "Or like a deep kiss you just can't stop. A connection, a merging of two separate entities."

She huffed. "I see. But... it's different."

"Than what?"

"Uh..." Roka flushed slightly. "You know..."

He smirked amusedly at her, his next words only leaving him to tease her even further. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"As if!"

The Master chuckled and kissed her nose, his lips splitting to a full grin. "Nope. You have to tell me."

"You know what I mean."

"What?"

"Sex."

There was silence and she flushed a deep red during the moment. A slight chuckle slowly build up in the Master's chest, rising to a full snickering as he drew her closer. Roka wanted to punch him, but wasn't able to move in any significant way.

"'M glad you're having fun," she grumbled.

"Och, come on," he mocked, "you behave as if you'd never done it."

"Shuddup."

He only continued to chuckle at her and it was annoyingly contagious, so she tried to kick him a little, without success. Instead the Master grabbed her around the torso and dragged her on top of him, until she lay with her full length on his chest. Roka only wore some underwear and a T-Shirt, so she distinctly felt his body through the cloth, reminding her of how strong he was, and still so tender with her at the same time. Right now he obviously had himself under control, only wanting to tease her, judging by the smug and amused look on his face.

"What's there to be embarrassed about?" He stroked a finger along her cheek.

"I... don't know."

"Then don't be." He bent his torso up to peck a kiss on her lips.

Roka huffed. "Why aren't you?" she mumbled, folding her arms on him to rest her chin on them. "Isn't it proscribed by Time Lords?"

"Mhm..." The smirk left his lips and his face became thoughtful. "Because they don't want... people like me to happen. Womb-borns. Looms are much more valuable, because they are pure and... programmed."

She knew a little about Looms and all that. About how most Time Lords were sterile and that they created new people in chambers, with a carefully crafted set of DNA. On earth it would be frowned upon, but for them it was the exact opposite. It was rare for two fertile Time Lords to even find together, let alone having them even be interested in any physical contact. Considering all of that it was almost an impossibility for him to even exist.

"Well," she mumbled and smiled, "I'm glad you happened."

The subtle surprise on his face was honest, his eyes suddenly adapting a look of such fondness towards her it made her heart ache. If people had been nice to him, if anyone had ever given him some love and compassion, would he still be the same today?

His arms closed around her middle and he rolled them both to the side, bringing their faces close together, his eyes boring into hers as if he wanted to explore her very soul through them.

"It's not the same," he answered her question from before. "Sharing minds goes so much... deeper."

"It certainly felt that way, yes." Roka closed her eyes, relishing his presence for a moment, before she finally asked, "Why did I see another of your memories? Why did you answer a question I only thought?"

When she opened her lids she met a thoughtful look. "I don't know," the Master admitted. "The connection is gone, completely. It... could be..." His brows knitted together and something crossed his gaze Roka couldn't name. Was it anger? Concern?

"Don't be so secretive again," she sighed.

"I'm not," he deflected almost automatically, then sighed. "It's only a possibility, but I don't know how it could have happened. And if... then it should by no means ever be completed. It won't. Not unwillingly, not unconsciously."

Roka huffed. "Just tell me if it gets important. Or dangerous. Or both. I'm part of it, too, you know? I have the right to be informed."

The Master smiled. "It's nothing you should be worried about. And I promise, if it ever gets a problem, I will tell you everything."

"Really?"

"Yes." He smiled softly, playing with her hair, his other hand resting on her waist. "Speaking of it. What memory did you see, anyway?"

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

To say it felt uncanny to go shopping with the Master was the understatement of her entire life.

Sure, they had been skimming through alien markets and stores from time to time, to get special supplies, tools or other stuff to repair his TARDIS, or simply to steal random stuff for the fun of it. But now they were actually buying necessary things for their everyday life. Starting from clothes to groceries and a few technical instruments of that time. A laptop, two smartphones, and Roka had insisted on getting them a PS4, although the Master refused to even go near that thing, remembering the last few games she had made him play with the widest - and meanest - grin on her face.

They ordered a guy to bring all the stuff home for them, so they wouldn't have to carry it around. As evening drew closer, Roka started to feel immensely tired. A week of running away from aliens wasn't as exhausting as getting new suits for the Master. He refused to wear something else but his black shirts an waist coats. And while Roka found him extraordinarily sexy in those, it was a horrible bother to find a proper tailor.

"Guess we do have to make some additional money someday," she grumbled, leaning against the wall, while a tall guy took measurement of the Time Lord. "Like this we'll only make it ten years or so... maximum."

"Don't worry." A wide grin wandered in her direction. "I'll get us more than we can ever spend. And that even without... travelling."

Well, Roka had little doubt he could do that, but his methods might not help with staying out of sight much.

Later on they were casually strolling down some streets, eating ice cream and watching people. At least Roka was doing that. The Master, on the other hand, seemed to be on the lookout for something else. His eyes darted around every corner, into every shadow, nook or cranny.

But what he was looking for, stayed in the dark.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

This behaviour continued for the next few days. They didn't spend too much time indoors, booth not very able to sit still for too long, both missing adventures and travelling badly, being robbed of it so suddenly. Despite his initial outburst, the Master took the whole situation quite calmly.

Well, mostly.

Once he vanished into the local library for hours, skimming through old articles about the region, glasses perched up high on his nose, ignoring every questions as to what he was looking for.

The next few days he started to collect pebbles and thrown away bottle caps, and as much as Roka tried to find out if they were special in any way, they all were too different to make out a pattern - and her questions, again, fell on deaf ears.

For about half a day the Master abused Roka's thievery skill to let her steal random objects out of people's pockets. Key-chains, jewellery, cheap watches and other, seemingly useless nick-knacks.

One morning she found him in the kitchen, casually studying some newspapers.

"Mornin'," Roka mumbled sleepily in his direction, then nodded towards Cassy, who sat on the other side of the table, nose buried in a textbook.

"Hey, morning!" she cheered, looking up for only a second. The girl was occupied with her studies a lot and they didn't see much of her, most of the time.

The Master treated her with some distancing, being not too friendly, nor too mean around her. In the end he was no idiot and knew it was a stupid idea to get on the bad side of their host.

"Anything interesting in the news?" Roka wanted to know while preparing herself a cup of coffee.

"No idea."

"You're reading the newspaper..."

"Mhm..."

Roka trod to him and peeked over the paper. "Vacancies?" she asked perplex. "What're _you_ up to?"

"Not searching for a job, that's for sure," he mumbled back, never even raising his eyes. "Just skimming this stuff for... patterns."

Roka just shrugged and left him to whatever he was up to. She realized they had been stranded for roughly over a week now, and it already started to gnaw on her badly. In opposite to her, the Master at least managed to keep himself busy somehow.

"If you're bored, you could go mystery hunting," Cassy suggested grinning. "I heard rumours about streetlamps just vanishing and strange sounds being heard in the night, groaning, wheezing. I bet there are aliens involved again." She chuckled and ducked her head back into her books.

The Master looked up, then at Roka, giving her a look as if to ask: _You think the same as I do, right?_

Somehow she was at a loss here. It sounded like typical small town ghost stories to her. But sure... before they went dying of boredom, they could as well investigate. Only when Cassy left the room did the Master elaborate further.

"Sounds like a TARDIS to me," he remarked. "The noises, not the street lights."

"You think she returns from time to time?" Roka asked hopefully. "Or maybe River managed to get on her good side and now tries to bring her to us?"

"Doubt it," he grumbled. "I'd say she stole the TARDIS, but the way she was misbehaving the whole time, it's more likely another malfunction. Not that I wouldn't think the ape is capable of betraying us like that."

"Honestly... I don't think River-"

"Doesn't matter." He interrupted, folding the news paper together. "It's not my TARDIS people tell of. The device I left would inform me, if it were." Suddenly a wide grin stole itself on his face. "That can only be the Doctor. Was only a matter of time until I would find a trace of him, here."

Then it dawned on Roka what he had been doing these days, what he had been looking for everywhere. She sighed, taking a sip from her coffee.

"You really are obsessed with him, aren't you?"

He chuckled and poked out his tongue. "Nothing better to chase away boredom than to annoy the Doctor. And who knows... If I can sneak into his TARDIS, maybe I can get a trace of my own. Or... you know... steal his again."

Roka giggled into her mug, remembering the last time too well. "Okay, but let's take some food along this time. I'm not going to stalk around all day outside with an empty stomach."


	19. II - Same old future

The next few weeks went by in a similar manner. Breakfast, then packing lunch - Roka made sure they always had at least some sandwiches and a thermos bottle of coffee (tea for the Master) - then they went out and searched the area for any signs of the Doctor. In the evenings they returned, although Roka was sure the Master went out at night, as well.

Since they shared the kitchen with Cassy it also turned out to be more convenient to prepare meals for everyone at once. Again, the Master proofed to be an exceptional cook, a fact that had astonished Roka immensely when she had first learned about this - it also had turned out the Doctor had been clueless about this skill.

"How are your studies going?" Roka asked curiously one evening, while the Master prepared something in the back that made her stomach twist and turn in anticipation.

"Eh, well, I guess... can't concentrate much, these days," Cassy sighed and lowered a textbook she had been reading.

"Anything wrong? We're not bothering you, are we?"

"No! No, you don't!" the girl exclaimed, but calmed down fast. "It's actually nice having people here. It got a bit lonely since Caleb moved out. And Anna isn't visiting so often, since she's studying herself and... uuuuugh...." She let out a long drawn sigh. "She wants to visit tomorrow."

"Isn't that good?" Roka pondered. "You talk about her a lot, after all."

"D... do I?" Cassy squeaked and hid her blushing face behind her book. "I mean, yeah, it's a good thing. I... I'm just a little nervous."

"Because of us?"

Cassy slowly shook her head, although her eyes briefly darted towards the Master.

"Mhm... alright. Just tell if we can help, yeah?"

"No! Don't!" the other girl protested, her voice high pitched. "Just... uh... don't. Everything is alright. Really. Totally. I'm fine."

Roka blinked perplex. That behaviour certainly was off.

"I'm missing something, don't I?" she mumbled more to herself.

"You do," the Master remarked mockingly, putting a big pot on the table. "It's so obvious, even I get it." His eyes glinted with glee as he leaned down to her, pecking a quick kiss to her cheek.

"Wh... what was that for?" Said cheeks started to glow red. Roka sunk together in her chair and saw Cassy chuckle quietly to herself.

"For being an adorable idiot." The comment was followed by a downright evil snickering.

He sat down with the two and gestured over the food to signal them to suit themselves. Cassy wasn't able to hold in a groan.

"Letting you stay here was the best idea ever." She closed her eyes and took a bite. "Gosh, Matt, where did you learn to cook like that?"

The Master smirked smugly. "Och, here and there. I travelled a lot, tried out even more. You learn stuff when you look at the world with open eyes, when you seek after the most hidden secrets, when you feel the age of the stories a place has to tell."

There he was again, the man who loved the stars more than anything else. Roka didn't need any kind of connection to feel his longing to go back out there. Each time he had told her stories of his travels he had that look on his face, one that didn't tell of the bad things he did, but of the times he was a mere explorer, doing as he pleased, but never without admiring and appreciating what he saw and learned. And however much he denied it, Roka was certain he did most of his exploring to experience all the strange wonders of the universe instead of using them for nefarious deeds, even if those might be his set goal.

Right now, though, it seemed he was able to settle into a _normal_ live with astonishing ease. Of course, it wasn't the first time he had to pretend to belong to this planet, but Roka had awaited for him to be a lot more... obvious. Instead he showed his charming side and he didn't even threaten Cassy. Probably because she admired his cooking skills so much, but that hardly mattered.

It was only when Roka caught him in a moment when he thought no one was watching, that she saw the dark look in his eye, could almost sense his unease and the will to finally vanish from this place and to drop the bothersome mask he only wore to make things easier for them.

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"Tell me about your travels," Roka demanded when they retreated to their room.

As usual the Master occupied himself with his collection of human tech he had gathered, dismantled whatever he deemed useful and put it together to new devices and gadgets that made no sense at all to Roka, even though she was quite skilled in those things as well. Now he looked up and turned his head towards her.

Roka put down the Playstation controller and gave him a pleading look.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"It's so dull here." She shrugged and patted the sofa next to her. "And you're a remarkable storyteller, if I might say so."

The Master huffed and put his gadget away before he came over and slumped down next to Roka. "Of course I am," came his smug retort. "But you'll just get itchy feet, idiot. So will I." He folded his arms behind his head and leaned back, eyes closed, mind wandering into some far away distance and time. "It's best not to dwell on travelling while being stuck, believe me."

Roka let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, you're right. I would have never thought it would be so hard to live like this." Her hand waved through the room. "It's everything I ever used to want." So, so many decades ago. "And now, all I can think about is how to get away."

"Tell you what?" The Master grabbed the controller and navigated through the menus on the screen until he found Netflix. "I still think human horror movies are hilarious. And you still love them. Let's watch some."

"You got scared, the first time you saw one," Roka remarked dryly, remembering it all too well.

"I wasn't! You snuck up on me!"

"Like that?" She quickly spread her arms and flung them around his middle, landing halfway on his lap, halfway against his site.

As if it were instinct - and probably it was - the Master roughly tried to shove her away, his dark scowl softening fast, though. Sometimes he almost behaved like a wild animal, flinching away from any sort of physical contact, if it wasn't himself who initiated it.

Now he relaxed and let Roka stay where she was, her head in his lap, smiling up to him, impishly. "Don't worry. If there's any ghosts under the bed, I'll protect you from them."

He snorted out a laugh. "In case I ever need a human to protect me from anything, I've gone truly mad."

"Then you already have." Roka tapped against his chest. "I protect you from yourself, after all."

"Do you, now?"

"Sure. And I don't care if you want it or not."

"Cheeky."

"Deal with it." She stuck out her tongue.

There was a warm smile appearing on his lips, spreading like rays of sun over his whole face. His fingers gently skimmed along her cheek, sending a pleasant tingling through her skin.

"Precious little human," he uttered.

It were small moments, like these, Roka liked the most. She loved to tickle out sides of him the Master probably didn't even know he possessed. And there was so much warmth in him, not many would believe it, and probably even less had ever allowed him to show it.

"Come, sit up," he enquired smiling and picked some movie for them to watch.

It seemed he loved ghost stories, seeing he almost always chose titles with supernatural content in them. Roka grinned back and eventually sat up, leaning against his side, though, and slipping a hand through the crook of his arm.

"Don't you dare protesting," she warned. "I _know_ you like me so snuggled up."

"Pffff... as if."

But he let her, drew her even a little closer and pressed a kiss to her temple. Roka smiled to herself, enjoying the small victory and his presence. Most nights he was tinkering away her hours of sleep, and when she woke up he was ready and about to go hunting for the Doctor outside. So she had come to miss his presence a lot.

It also meant he wasn't sleeping at all, again.

The movie was bad. Just the way she liked them, enjoying to predict each and every cheap jumpscare and unravelling the flat plot long before it was supposed to become obvious to the viewer. She giggled at a particularly bad scene and caught a glimpse of how the Master glanced at her from the side, his look showing content and a smile twitching in the corner of his mouth.

After the second movie Roka started to get tired and wondered how the Master was able to cope with sitting around for so long, without occupying himself with something useful. But he stayed with her and she was glad about having him here. Eventually, Roka snuggled up on him some more and allowed herself to drift away into a sleep far deeper than she had planned.

When she woke up again it took her a moment to comprehend where she was. The room was dark now, devoid of all lights, except for the telly. She also was lying in a different angle, and only after a few confused moments did she realize she was lying with her head on the Master's lap. One of his hands was gently curled over her chest and she heard him chuckle lightly.

Curiosity winning over, she turned her head to the screen, a wide smile spreading on her face at the sight. She cupped his hand with her own, stroking her thumb over his skin.

"Wake again?" he asked, quietly laughing at another scene.

"And you're watching kids shows," Roka noted amusedly. It was an episode of Pinky and Brain, a show she used to love as a child. "It's so ridiculous. Brain's plans never work anyway." She poked out her tongue when the Master looked down at her. "That why you watch it?"

"Oi! My plans _do_ work!" he protested with a grin. "It's only the Doctor ever messing around with them."

"Mhm... I'm sure the others all worked." Her sarcastic tone was hard to overhear.

The Master grabbed the remote and turned off the telly, leaving them both in sudden darkness. Roka only felt his hand grabbing her collar as he leaned down to her. In another time it would have been a threatening move, one he would have hoped would scare her. But now there was a weird gentleness in the very same action.

"You'll see for yourself how well they work, little crow." His breath ghosted her lips, telling her how close he actually was. "I will show you all those stars out there. I will hand the universe to you, wrapped in a silver ribbon, if you wish for it."

"As if you would let me have it," she retorted smirking.

The Master chuckled. "No, probably not."

And he closed the small gap between them, gently moulded their lips together, making Roka's heart rate spike pleasantly. Her hand moved up to caress his cheek, stroking over some stubbles of his beard, urging him closer to her.

He carefully, slowly, broke the kiss. "We won't be stuck here forever. I promise."

"I know. You'll find out how to get us way."

"Do you trust me on that?"

"I do." She smiled into the darkness, sad that, due to their now lacking connection, he wasn't able to feel it. Then she remembered something. "But that won't work too well if you keep avoiding rest. You're awake since forever again, aren't you?"

There was low growl rumbling in his chest, confirming Roka's suspicion. His lips found hers again, for a short moment. Gently he brushed some hair from her forehead.

"Sleep with me," he asked quietly.

"Too tired," Roka deadpanned.

"No, idiot." A chuckle resounded through the dark. "Just sleeping. I want to test out a theory."

"Alright. Wanted to crawl into bed anyway."

She hooked her fingers into his collar to draw him into another kiss, enjoying their closeness for just a little while longer. The Master eventually moved his hands, swiftly swiped her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed.

"I could have definitely walked that few meters," she protested giggling, but grabbing onto his shirt to nuzzle herself against his chest.

"Do I care?"

He sat her down, pulled back the covers and waited until she had crawled under them before he followed, allowing Roka to cuddle herself against his chest once again. He breathed a soft kiss to her forehead, his arm snaking around her middle to hold her tight. It was such a rare occasion to be so close to the Master during night time, Roka sighed content and couldn't feel happier as in this very moment. How she had missed this during her own, lonely travels. Feeling so safe and warm and secure, slowly drifting into sleep, guided by the soothing double beat of his hearts.

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

Another day went by with them strolling through London. Somehow the Master was convinced to eventually find the Doctor here, which wasn't the worst bet, considering how often he visited this town.

Luckily it was warm outside and they didn't have to bother with wind or rain. Well... Roka didn't. The Master wouldn't mind anyway with his annoying superior biology. Roka scowled at him from the side, which let her almost bump into a child.

Hastily she evaded and turned around just in time to see the back and feet disappear behind a corner. Small kid. Probably not older than ten. She paid it no more attention and instead pondered about what to get for diner for the evening. Although the Master enjoyed being praised for his meals, Roka delightedly gave him new ideas to try out. Sometimes they took alien recipes and tried to find earthen equivalents of the ingredients, although that didn't always work out. There was nothing on earth that could even remotely resemble the delicate taste of Larmenda roots.

Roka scowled once again, suddenly certain she would gain lots of weight if the only interesting thing in her life, from now on, would remain food.

She sighed and glanced around, halfway daydreaming, halfway hoping to finally find this bloody blue box so they could get away.

Instead she noticed another child peeking around a corner, its face hidden under a too big bucket hat. It quickly disappeared and Roka did her best to pretend she hadn't seen anything. Confirming her suspicion, she again saw the same hat a few corners ahead. Once more she ignored it, but tugged at the Master's sleeve to get his attention.

"What is it?"

She wriggled her finger to indicate him to come closer, and he did, although raising a questioning eyebrow in the process.

"We're followed," she explained quietly. "A kid."

"So?" His look turned to a mixture of amused and annoyed.

"I'm not sure... You remember the one that attacked us on that junkyard planet, not long ago?"

Now she had his attention. Almost unnoticeably his eyes wandered around, skimming the place for any signs of the persecutor. There weren't many people around, as they were in a sleepy part of town, but here and there was a parent with children, or little ones on their own. None of them behaving strange in any way, though. It had only been that one.

"If it is the same," the Master started slowly, "then don't expect me not to kill it before it can harm you."

Roka frowned. "I know. It would, however, be wiser to capture the kid and find out what it wants. Or who is messing with it. Didn't seem as if it were in full control of its actions, back then."

A low growl rumbled through his chest, his eyes narrowing to thin slits.

"Fine. But if necessity arises... I really don't care if it's an actual child or only disguises as one."

"Don't be so overprotective." She smirked and took his hand. "I can take care of myself quite well."

Again he only growled, interlacing their fingers and holding tightly onto her as they resumed their way, now double vigilant of their surroundings.

The child appeared a few more times, always just lurking behind some corner, never showing its face. Still, Roka had the impression it had to be a boy, probably somewhat around the age of maybe seven to ten.

There he was again. She nudged the Master inconspicuously. He didn't budge, but Roka knew his eyes were now fixated on the corner ahead. She kept her own there, although avoiding turning her head in the direction. They were still a good distance away and Roka had a somewhat clear view of...

"What's that creature behind the kid?" she uttered through her teeth, never taking her eyes off of it. "Looks creepy."

"No idea. I think, I've seen it before, though."

Roka frowned. Maybe the kid was controlled by that thing. But what the hell was it? Clearly alien, almost _too_ alien, as it looked a lot like most humans would imagine them from movies. It stood tall, with a slender humanoid body. The grey skinned and bald head was oval, getting pointier towards the chin. It seemed to have no mouth or nose at all and the eyes were almost nothing but large black holes, at least from this distance. And, strangest of it all, it wore a black suit.

From somewhere they heard steps all of a sudden, running steps that approached fast. The Master looked around to see where they came from. A few seconds later the strange creature lifted its long fingered hand and pointed in their direction. Roka froze.

"The alien saw us!" she hissed.

"What alien?"

"The creepy Men in Black thing, of course."

The Master looked back towards the child, letting out a sharp breath. "What the heck is that thing?"

"I just asked you the same."

By now it had lowered the hand again, but continued to stare in their direction, only stepping backwards slowly. It was downright unnerving.

"Yeah, looks familiar, but..." The Master stopped.

The child moved. By now they were only a few meters away and, as if someone had flicked a switch, the child started to rush towards them, holding some sharp object in its small hands. This time Roka was prepared and evaded, letting him rush past her.

"Don't!" Roka held out a hand as the Master pointed his laser screwdriver at the kid.

Immediately it hurled around and started another attack. Roka wanted to capture the child, not hurt him, so she waited until he was close, then swiftly stepped aside, but let one foot in place to let the small one stumble over it and to his knees.

The knife slithered away, the Master jumping towards it to pick it up. Something seemed to have caught his attention there, for he disappeared around the corner. Meanwhile Roka carefully approached the attacker. The kid sat with its back to her, the hat had fallen to the ground, revealing a short, light brown, tousled haircut.

"I don't want that," the boy brought out, sobbing. He clutched his head with both small hands, shaking it. "Leave me be. Please."

"Hey, I won't hurt you," Roka tried. "Someone is forcing you to do this, right?"

The child almost curled itself together, bending down so deep his clutched head almost touched the ground. The running steps from before came closer and when Roka dared a quick look back she saw a blond woman appear.

"Get away from the child!" she called out, waving her arms exaggeratedly.

By the time Roka looked back, the small one had lifted himself up from the ground again, still holding his head as if it hurt badly. He stood with his back to them, sobbing and hesitantly taking a step away. Roka held her hand out, wanted to grab the boy by his shoulder, but he quickly bent himself out of the way, arms falling to his side.

"Get away," he sobbed. "I have to... it calls... I'm sorry, Gin."

And with that he ran away so fast, Roka could barely react, especially since the woman had now arrived with them, bending over to brace her hands on her upper legs, the blond hair falling in front of her face.

"Oh, good. He's gone. Don't worry. Don't..."

Roka fought with herself to run after the child, but the same moment she decided to do so, a figure, clad in all black appeared in the distance, forcefully grabbed the boy's wrist and teleported them away. It went all so fast, Roka hadn't been able to get a proper look at the other person. They wore a suit and seemed to have too long limbs, though, and a weirdly shaped head.

Hadn't she seen someone like that before?

And more important even, had the boy really called her _Gin_ , or had it been her imagination? This had been her nickname as a child... how would he know?

"I can't tell you much," the woman's voice cut through Roka's thoughts. "Not supposed to. Could change the past. And that's always bad." She made a face at her own words and straightened up. Her eyes darted towards Roka and lit up with a warm spark. "Oh Roka, I'm so glad you're still..." The smile dropped and she shook her head. "Forget it. But if you see that kid again, run. Promise me as much, okay?"

"How do you know my name?" Roka wanted to know.

"Because you met her already," the Master's sarcastic voice resounded as he returned around the corner.

The woman shot around, eyes widening in disbelief, almost shock. She let out a short squeak and ran at the Time Lord, her arms wrapping around him so fast and hard enough to visibly throttle his air supply.

"It's before!" she called out, burying her face in his shirt. "You're still... still... Oh I'm so happy to see you well, Master." A sob let her shoulders tremble, her voice faltering with every word. "I... I should have come looking for you. I really should have." Another sob and only a whisper remained. "I'm so sorry. So... so..."

Utterly perplex he stood there, frozen in place. But then, hesitantly as if he didn't even know how to do that, he carefully wrapped his arms around the slender form and held the woman until she stopped shivering from tears. All the while his face wore a mixture of annoyance and... carefully masked care.

Roka felt a huge pang of jealousy at the sight, resisting the urge to purse her lips. Instead she looked away, busying herself with pushing a pebble around with her foot.

Eventually the Master dropped his arms and the blond stepped away, rubbed a sleeve over her eyes and smiled at the other one's eye-roll.

"Sorry, shouldn't have gotten so emotional. I know you can't stand seeing me cry."

He snorted disparagingly and poked a finger at her head. "You wish. I'm the one _making_ you cry, remember? And don't you ever forget it, Doctor."

"Wh... what?" Roka's mouth gaped open, her eyes darting back and forth between the two.

"Oh, I thought you'd recognize me, dear!" the woman called out, giving her a mock-pout. "We travelled so long together." She spread her arms with a wide grin.

Roka closed her open hanging mouth, having the feeling as if her brain was about to simply shut down. It didn't help. Her mouth fell open again on its own.

"No... fucking... way..."


	20. II - Unexpected possibilities

The Doctor dropped her arms, her expression once again weirdly sad at Roka's sight. Only for a moment though, before the grin reappeared. "Come on, I looked a lot worse already."

Roka took in a deep breath. "You look good, really. It's just... I had no idea."

"Yeeeah, I know!" she exclaimed. "Such amazing hair and they are still not ginger! Can you imagine?"

"I think," the Master tossed in, giving Roka an amused smirk, "she means that you're a woman."

"Oh, that!" The Doctor's face lit up like a candle. "Yeah, had an upgrade." She stuck out her breasts and poked her fingers at both. "Hey, what do you think. Roka? Bit small, aren't they? But more comfortable with all the running." She reached a hand up to her head, as if to compare their heights. "The size is more bothersome. So unfamiliar." Her lips pursed. "Ah well, I'm still taller than you."

"That's not very hard," Roka grumbled, still trying to wrap her head around the sight. "So... regeneration also can change your gender?"

"Yeaaah," the Doctor drawled, "doesn't happen too often. Sometimes. First time for me, actually. New cycle, maybe it's that. Maybe coincidence."

"Maybe you always skipped classes and have no idea how to control your regenerations?" the Master offered with a sweet, teasing smile.

"Oi! It's a lot more _fun_ like this! You never know what you'll end up with. Isn't that exciting?" The last words were directed at Roka.

"Eh..." She blinked, still a little confused, or rather unnerved. Her eyes darted towards the Master. "Probably."

Luckily the other Time Lord had himself a little better under control and remembered why they had actually been searching for the Doctor. His smile dropped to a no-nonsense expression as he took a step forward and... knocked the Doctor out with a quick blow against her head.

Roka yelped in surprise and rushed forwards, but the Master had already grabbed the unconscious woman at one arm and was dragging her over his shoulder.

"What the...?"

He grinned. "Here's the plan: Drop her somewhere, tie her up, steal the TARDIS. What do you think?"

Roka sighed deeply. "I bet she would have helped had we just asked."

"Yeeeah, I knoooow!" he whined. "Wouldn't that be boring? So, where might this stupid blue box be hidden?"

"Maybe you should have asked at least that before," Roka groaned. Then she suddenly chuckled, earning herself a questioning look. "Is this the usual way you two meet? First getting emotional, then playing games?"

The Master snorted. "I have not the slightest idea what the hell came over her. It was definitely _not_ the usual meeting. Usually," he went on happily, "it's me having some huge advantage and presenting some nice challenge."

"To then get beaten in the final end." Roka snickered at his dark scowl. "Okay, but where do you want to look for the TARDIS?"

Maybe she should be concerned about what he had just done to the Doctor, but so far she was basically unharmed.

"Actually... no idea. No, wait. Easy." He stopped in his tracks and sat the Doctor down, leaned her against a wall - luckily no one was around to witness the scene - and then started to rummage through her pockets until he produced a key. "There we are. Should bring us right to... mhmm... odd..."

"What is it?" Roka immediately was curious when she saw his concerned expression.

"It's not glowing. Every TARDIS key is supposed to lead the way." His brows furrowed.

"Then why did you rely on me to get the location, when you had me as prisoner?" Roka mused, thinking back at how he had hypnotized her, back then, to not only get her key, but also the location of the Doctor's TARDIS.

"It was hidden. Besides..." he smirked up at her, "I had too much fun."

Roka chuckled. It was so him.

"So, it is hidden again?"

"Probably." The Master, still on his haunches, frowned at the unconscious Time Lord and sighed deeply.

Slowly a smile spread over the Doctor's face and her eyes crept open. It seemed as if she had overheard a good portion of their conversation. The Master noticed it, but made no attempt to knock her out once again. Instead he only smirked and wriggled his fingers in a mock-greeting.

"Last few times we met I was far too nice with you. Thought you might need a reminder."

The Doctor groaned and held her head. "That you can be a true dick sometimes?"

"That I can and will play with you whenever I'm in the mood," he explained sweetly. "Tell me, Doctor," he continued in a tone that sounded as if he had spoken those words a thousand times already, "Where's your TARDIS?"

Her smile was back, giving Roka the instant feeling that the woman was about to reveal something the Master wouldn't like. At all.

"Yours took off, didn't it?" she asked with a way too happy smirk.

"What do you know about that?!" the Master growled, all playfulness vanishing from his face as the Doctor heaved herself off the ground and rolled her shoulders. "Did you conspire with this River person?" he spat.

The Doctor froze, her surprised gaze wandering to Roka, awaiting her confirming nod. "She was with you?" she breathed and her eyes closed for a few moments as if she revelled in a memory. Seldom had Roka seen the Doctor so sad and wondered what this was about, as she continued, "No. No... I haven't seen her in forever. But I was following a weird signal, Reeeally weird. Is because I left the fam at home. Better that way. Safer. Anyway..." She gestured about with her hands. "As soon as I landed and went out, my TARDIS dematerialized."

The Master groaned, rubbed a hand over his face. "You've got to be kidding me," he begged, almost whined, then suddenly shouted, "Come _on_ , Doctor, tell me you're fucking with me!"

She didn't even wince, her lips only jerking upwards a little as she gave him a look of almost pity. "Would never do _that_. Well, didn't since... you know... especially not..." her eyes darted to Roka and she coughed slightly, then winced as if someone had hit her. "Oh, wait! You didn't mean... oooohhh... ah, ehem. No, I'm serious. Bet your TARDIS did the same. Must be the same interference."

"Great!" the Master howled, ignoring the ramblings otherwise. He pointed accusingly at the Doctor. "Are you telling me, we're trapped now? _With you here?!_ "

The blond shrugged and smiled widely. "Seems quite so."

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"And even _if_ we can calibrate the lombjard-catalyst, it's no guarantee it won't blow us up in the process!" the Master protested in exasperation. "Doctor, is there at least _one_ idea in your daft mind that won't kill us all?"

"At least I do have some!" she retorted frowning. "How long are two here now? I bet I could have gotten away in half a _day_!"

"Well, then do you blasted thing and _get my TARDIS back_!"

They glared at each other for a few seconds, then the Doctor turned away and fumbled around with a small device. The Master growled and flopped down on the sofa with crossed arms and a look that could burn the sun itself.

They did have one advantage now. The Doctor's sonic screwdriver could be calibrated to contact River. In case they would be able to get it working with the tech the Master had put together over the past days. Which, as Roka had picked out, wasn't that easy and would require a few rare components and probably one or the other dangerous test.

She lightly touched his arm in assurance, but only caught a glance that was meant to burn her to a pile of ash.

"I know you'll manage," she still said.

His gaze softened and he reached for her hand, holding her finger-tips to his lips to press a light kiss to them. "I promised it, didn't I?"

Roka smiled warmly and cuddled herself to his side. His hand slipped over her back and underneath her hoodie, fingers spreading over her skin. A warm tingling emanated from him and there was a sudden tug on her mind, like a soft and hesitant knock.

Right. Skin contact.

The temples were the straightest path to another person's mind, one even a human could use. For a Time Lord, however, any kind of contact worked.

Roka closed her eyes and opened her mental shields to let him slip in, a warm flow of energy, sparkling with repressed rage and annoyance. He didn't talk, the connection too shallow for that. It was more like handholding, and Roka found she rather enjoyed it.

The Doctor looked up from her tinkering, blinking perplex in their direction, as if she could sense what they were doing. Could she? And if, what could it mean to her? There were so many things Roka still didn't understand about Time Lords. One of those things sitting right in front of her.

She simply _had_ to ask.

The Master felt her unease before she could open her mouth, his thumb gently stroking her back. "What's bothering you, little crow?"

The Doctor glanced back to her work.

"Not... bothering, per se," Roka tried. "Just can't wrap my head around... her." She nodded towards the Doctor.

"Oi! Have done nothing!" the blond woman protested.

"I just didn't know Time Lords could switch gender so easily," Roka blurted out, feeling embarrassment creeping up her neck.

The Master shrugged, obviously not seeing a problem here. "If one doesn't skip classes," he tossed a look at the Doctor, "a Time Lord usually has some control over the outcome of any regeneration. But if it happens too sudden and leaves no time for mental preparation, or if regeneration is repressed for too long," again he shrugged, "unexpected things can happen."

"So..." Roka almost didn't dare to ask. "It can... happen to everyone?"

"Ohhhh yes!" the Doctor exclaimed happily. "We had this one girl in the academy, Sekra was her name. Got herself into some stupid initiation ritual for a gang and ended up being a bloke. Never went back. Only once and then she forced a new regeneration just to become male again."

"Phew, wow," Roka made astonished. "And there I thought Time Lords didn't care about gender."

"There's always exceptions to every rule." The Master grinned.

Roka glared at him, wanting to ask the obvious, although she already knew the answer. They had just given it to her. But still... her mind couldn't wrap around it. The Master didn't seem to notice, his eyes wandering somewhere into the past to dig out a few memories.

"Only happened once to me," he told. "Forth... no, sixth regeneration. My, that's long ago."

"What?!" the Doctor and Roka exclaimed together.

"You've been a woman tw... before? Why'd you never tell?" the blond whined.

Roka was completely baffled. "You..."

He blinked at her, obviously confused about what was so strange about it. He shrugged. "Honestly, didn't have the chance to get used to it. Was a... ehem... rough time. That body only lasted about three months or so."

"Oh Master," the Doctor sighed, "You always were so sloppy with your lives."

He chuckled and poked out his tongue at her. "No risk, no fun." His head turned to Roka. "That's weird to humans, isn't it?"

She nodded slowly.

"Ahhhhhhh! It woooorks!" The Doctor sprang up and shot towards them, holding up a weird circuit board with all sorts of extensions. "Look! I just have to press this... Ohh! Whoops..."

There was a zap, a short flash and then a thin line of smoke, accompanied by the smell of burned electricity.

"Great," the Master groaned and sunk together, head thrown back against the sofa. "You ruined it. Have you any idea how long it took me to get enough sheron-atoms?"

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"Is she the one who dropped you two?" Cassy asked Roka carefully as she handed her a bowl with crisps.

Roka shook her head. "Thanks. No, she's an old... friend. Of sorts."

"They're shouting pretty loud," Anna remarked, her face a little worried. Of course Cassy's friend had to come over this day to be witness of the current situation. She didn't seemed to mind, though, was a kind-hearted, calm person.

The Time Lords had vanished upstairs, arguing about how to get their TARDISes back. Both never liked the ideas of the other and the Doctor's newly found temperament didn't help with that much. Roka had decided to stay out of the way. It wasn't as if she had enough knowledge of their tech to be of help, anyway.

"Sorry, 'bout that," Roka mumbled. "I asked them to stay out, but those dunderheads just don't listen."

"Ah, it's okay. If she can really help getting you back home, it might be worth the ruckus." Cassy chuckled and flopped down on the sofa next to Anna.

"Can't wait to get rid of us again, eh?" Roka quipped. She sat opposite to them in a small armchair.

Cassy winked at her playfully. "And miss Matt's awesome cooking? As for me, you two can stay forever." She giggled.

They started to play some dice to pass the time, while the telly had some random soap operas running. Mostly to tune out the fighting Time Lords upstairs, but also because Anna loved them. The girls seemed to get along really well and, the more the evening progressed, the closer they sat together. Cassy told a joke and Anna burst out into a giggle, leaning at the other one's shoulder. Cassy then moved her hand, quite as if she wanted to stroke Anna's hair, but let it sink quickly.

Roka, meanwhile, was only partially observing and even less aware of their game. Too much was running through her head.

"Aaaaaw, and there you lost again, Roka. Sorry." Cassy giggled and collected all the dice. "You're so bad at this game, it's hard to believe."

Roka gave off some indistinct hum.

"What's bothering you?" Anna asked softly. "It's not them fighting, isn't it?"

Cassy cast a surprised glance sideways.

"It's... nothing." Roka evaded. How in the universe could she explain it to them, anyway? "It's just weird to see the Doctor like... that."

"Have you not seen her in a while?" Anna continued to ask.

She was a curious person, but her questions somehow never felt intrusive and always honest. She really cared about others. Roka started to see why Cassy liked her so much. Well... liked. She risked a quick glance at their host. Maybe she would understand? If she phrased everything a little different...

"Last time I saw her..." Roka started and had trouble deciding whether or not to really open up. But then she decided to just risk it. "She looked... different. I mean... a lot. And I didn't know... I had no idea..."

"Hey, don't worry. We won't tell, right, Anna?"

"Right."

Roka sighed. "Last time I saw her she wasn't... a woman."

Four eyes widened in surprise. They surely hadn't awaited anything like that. Cassy the let out an appreciating whistle.

"Wow, she really nailed it. I've seen quite a few people transition, but she looks as if she had been a woman since birth! Sorry... I'm not helping, am I?"

Anna thought for a moment. "And now you're worried, Matt could... like her all of a sudden?"

Roka blinked, then snorted out a short laugh. "Noooo way in hell."

Although... something about the Doctor's ramblings before had... nope. Definitely nope. Roka didn't allow her mind to even linger in _that_ corner.

"No," she repeated more calmly. "It's just that they are... how to explain... of the same... kind. In a way." How the hell could she hint at regeneration without mentioning it? But Cassy solved the problem already.

"And now you think, Matt wants to transition too, now that he saw how smoothly that can go?" She raised an eyebrow and smirked amused. "Wouldn't have thought of him as the type for that. But you never know, right?"

Yeah, you never know. Roka sighed.

"Would that be a problem for you?" Anna asked empathically.

"I'm sure he would still love you!" Cassy called out. "You two are way too cute together!"

Roka shrunk in her armchair, blushing a little. "He's not the problem," she mumbled. "But... I might be."

"What?! How?! Why?!" Cassy's shock was obvious.

Anna nudged her side. "Silly, not everyone's into women."

Cassy cast a quick, almost desperate look at her friend. There also was fear in it, uncertainty. Some puzzle pieces clicked together in Roka's mind when she saw this. The way those two interacted and everything. The Master had been right. It _was_ obvious. Roka only had been too blind to notice. But maybe she could repay the kindness of her host and help.

"Are you?" she asked Anna, ignoring how Cassy winced at the question as if she wasn't sure whether or not she even wanted to know the answer.

Anna flushed a little and suddenly avoided looking at her friend. "I... uh... it took me a while. But yeah... I think I might... like both." She shrugged shyly, still looking away and therefore missing the sudden bright smile on Cassy's face.

Roka almost chuckled, if only her mind wouldn't be so troubled.

"Hey, listen," Cassy spoke up, sending a warm smile at Anna before she turned back to Roka. "I'm sure this isn't helpful at all... again. But, you do love him, don't you? I mean... _really_ love him. Don't lie, it's super obvious." She poked out her tongue and giggled when Anna nudged her.

Once more she felt her face flush a little. If there was anything at all she could be certain of, then it was this. Through all her travels and all the misery she had endured, it had always been him to drag her out of the dark, to give her hope and warm her cold heart. She looked up at the two ordinary human women in front of her. They knew nothing... nothing about travelling time and space, unseen and unremembered, nothing but a ghost, a whispered tale about a crow, riven by loneliness. A hundred and fifty years... until she had met the Master again. And in that moment, even when she had fought against it with all she had, she had already decided to never leave him again. That she knew, now.

"Yes, I do," she breathed out, only now feeling the lump in her throat and the tears prickling her eyes. She swallowed, drove back the memories.

"Then I don't see a problem," Cassy announced. "You two will manage. I'm certain. You don't even know if he really considers it. And maybe he won't... for you."

Roka smiled lazily. Well, _decision_ wasn't an option in this case. But that she couldn't tell of course.


	21. II - Some past must not be told

"Doctor, please get out," Roka moaned. "Get a hotel room or something."

"What for?" The blond scurried around the room, collecting parts and tinkering them together, while the Master did the same, more or less. "I don't need sleep now. And probably not for another while either. If I'm good, and usually I'm _brilliant_ , this might only take..."

"Doctor, out!" the Master growled and pointed to the door. He rolled his eyes at her dumbfound expression. "Seriously? Who is hanging around those apes all the time? I think that was you, am I wrong? No! And if even _I_ can remember that she needs sleep, I'm sure so can you."

"Oh." The Doctor dropped a few cables onto the sofa. "Right. Sorry, Roka. But hey, I could just..."

"No." The Master glared at her, his gaze leaving no room for interpretation. "You're not staying for the night. And if you have to sleep in a beggars cardboard shelter, I don't care a scrap. Get lost for a few hours."

The Doctor pouted and stemmed both fists into her hips. This regeneration seemed to be as moody as she was fidgety. "Fiiiine," she let out, "be back in eight hours."

With that she hurled around and rumbled down the stairs, leaving a chirped goodbye towards the girls, before she left the house.

Roka chuckled. "Bet you always wanted to do that."

"Throw the Doctor out?" The Master huffed amused. "Have done that more times than you might think."

"Sounds like you used to live together." She poked out her tongue.

Slowly the Master looked up, his mind returning from his tinkering, only to wander farther way into the past. Absently he slid his specs further up his nose, an almost nostalgic half-smile appearing on his lips. "Of course we have."

It was then that she remembered, feeling a little stupid for having forgotten the obvious. "Oh, right. The academy."

He hummed confirming and quietly laughed to himself about something only he understood. "I once let him sleep in a tree for five nights in a row. Got a week detention for it, but that was worth it."

Roka laughed at the mere thought and also was happy to hear something about this time. He never told about it much, if at all. She strolled over to peek at what he was working on, but the small device didn't make much sense to her. As good as Roka was with tech, what those two put together always slipped her level of knowledge.

Her thoughts got interrupted anyway as the Master took her wrist and pulled her against him. She steadied herself with a hand against his shoulder to not fall, but then decided to be bold and simply straddled one of his legs.

"Wait... five nights? Do young Time Lords need more sleep?" she teased and hooked her finger into his half opened dress shirt. The tie was discarded on top of a pile of cables.

A mischievous smile spread on his face and in his eyes, but he didn't move an inch towards Roka. Only his hands snaked around her middle, folded in the small of her back, but not drawing her closer.

"They actually sleep even more than you lot. It was an annoying time, I can tell you. It's like... puberty in humans. Our bodies change, grow, but a lot slower than yours, still." Roka listened fascinated, always happy to learn more about his past and his race in general. "We spend most of our childhood and adolescence with learning how to control our bodies and minds. How we can exist with almost no food or sleep," his thumbs gently stroked over her skin through the cloth.

"Speaking of it... Is it better now? You sleep a lot more often."

She had noticed him slipping into bed almost every night by now.

"Oh, didn't want to wake you." He smirked, almost apologetic. Almost.

"'S just instinct." Roka shrugged it off. "You know I haven't spend much time in... safe places. Hell, since I met you again I've spent more time in interiors than the whole hundred and fifty years before."

"That's good." One of his hands moved from her back and stroked her cheek. "You don't have to wander alone anymore."

_Because you are mine._

He didn't speak it out loud, but it was visible in the possessive glint in his hazel eyes. The thought spreading a comforting warmth in her heart.

"So, your sleep _experiment_ worked?" she wanted to know.

Only a Time Lord could call sleeping in bed with another person an experiment, but she wouldn't complain about having some time to snuggle up on him. Not that it would be necessary. It seemed he always made sure they had some kind of skin contact. Maybe that was what helped with the issue.

He slowly nodded. "Somehow, yeah. I'm not sure at all how and why, but..." He mulled over the subject in his mind, eyes drifting into the distance again.

"Well, at least you're not keeping yourself awake anymore."

He smirked. "Stop worrying about me, Roka. There's not much I couldn't handle. Now go and take a nap. Knowing the Doctor she'll be back even before the eight hours are over."

"I don't need so much rest." She pursed her lips. "Six hours maybe. Can go with less, if I have to. Eight is just," she shrugged, "boredom." She still had her finger in his collar, now tugging lightly at it. "Plenty of time to test just how much you learned about control."

The Master chuckled and grinned widely, capturing her lips in a short, sweet kiss. "If I truly wanted, you could do whatever you like to me and I wouldn't even budge."

Her eyes squinted a little, the temptation to try this out far greater than her tiredness. But the Master put a hand between them and motioned her towards the bed.

"Shouldn't have told that, eh?" he teased.

"You know it's dangerous to poke my curiosity."

"Mhm... I do." He took her face in both hands and kissed her once more, almost careful, gently, and in a way that made Roka feel so warm and protected it made her heart ache a little. When he retreated there was so much affection in his eyes, he probably wasn't even aware of it. Otherwise, Roka was sure, he would have hidden it. "You can play with me another time, little crow," he purred, "The sooner this stuff is done the sooner we can get away from here." His thumbs stroked along her cheeks. "And there was this high security fortress on Jaggera Zelgron I wanted to invade."

Roka giggled at the last part and leaned forward to pick a last kiss to his lips. "Okay. Work your magic, oh great superior Time Lord." She poked out her tongue. "And don't you dare invading that place without me, yah?"

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

Roka was awakened by a waft of coffee scent swaying her way, gently guiding her out of a dreamless sleep. Once more she turned under the blankets, enjoying how warm and comfy they were. She felt someone leaning slightly over her, the scent getting stronger. Roka yawned into her pillow, sat up with still closed eyes and smiled to the person next to her.

"Thanks for the coffee, Mast...er..." She blinked perplex, but still too tired to react otherwise, as she saw it was another face smiling down, another set of hands presenting the mug. "Oh, hi, Doctor. Thanks."

"I remembered you like it," she beamed and placed the beverage on the night stand. "Hope it's not too strong, haven't brewed any coffee in ages, but your little friend downstairs was so friendly to help."

"Oh my, I hope you haven't scared Cassy," Roka mumbled while climbing out of bed.

"Whaaaat!" the Doctor made indignantly. "Why do you think I would?! Not even the Master does! However he manages..."

Roka yawned again and smiled. "Because he's clever enough to deceive people into thinking he's a nice person."

He appeared next to the Doctor, shoving something into her hands and herself away. "That almost sounded like an insult," he stated, slightly amused. "Am I not nice to you?"

"Yeah, to _me_." Roka poked out her tongue and moved past him. "Now, don't kill each other while I take a shower, okay?"

She quickly manoeuvred past the arguing Time Lords, picked a few clothes from the wardrobe and vanished into the bathroom. Even across the hallway she could hear them arguing, although didn't understand a word. The hot water woke her up some more and she enjoyed staying under it a few minutes longer than intended. It wasn't as if she could be of much use, anyway. Maybe she should leave for some hours, wasting some time wandering the city.

Finally Roka turned off the water, grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower, right in time to have the door opened and an exciting Doctor rushing in.

"Oh, don't mind me! Just need that toothpaste and..."

"Hey! Out with you!" Roka commanded. "You can't just walk in like that!"

"Huh? Why not?" The Doctor asked, honestly puzzled. "I know what a human body looks like. And females look pretty much the same in your species as in mine, so..."

Roka sighed. "That's so not the point. And besides, you were a man before!"

"Doctor, I told you not to... ugh, you did. Of course you did." The Master appeared behind the blond, grabbed her collar in the neck and dragged her away. "If you ever ask again why I want to murder you dead, please stop and think twice."

They argued the short way back, the door got slammed shut and Roka closed the one to the bathroom to get dry and then into her clothes. Dark jeans and a red hoodie with a Nuka Cola logo on it. She had found that one in a small gaming shop and loved it to bits.

After that she sauntered down into the kitchen to get some breakfast. Trying the Doctor's coffee wasn't exactly what she wanted for her stomach right now. Cassy had already left for university, so Roka sat there for a while, head in the clouds, thinking about nothing in particular.

A loud crash made her jump up, almost spilling the remaining coffee. There were screams, clearly coming from the Master, a thump as if something had hit the wall. Roka rushed upstairs, only happy that Cassy wasn't here.

When she opened the door she found the telly smashed and some broken and smoking pieces of unfinished devices littering the floor. The Doctor had her back pressed against the wall, the Master holding her at the collar, his gaze seething with anger.

"Do I really have to remind you not to annoy me, Doctor?" he growled, not even noticing Roka. "If you know anything, anything at all, then you better tell, or regret it forever."

The initial shock vanished from the Doctor's face and she got visibly irritated. "You know I can't," she hissed. "As much as _you_ couldn't tell me the truth about Gallifrey! Oh hey, wait. No. That wouldn't have caused a paradox."

"With you in the picture?" the Master sneered. Then a cruel smile tugged at his lips. "Besides, what makes you think I'm one for telling good news?"

"Well, I helped you with Roka, didn't I? And what will you do to her? You..." She paused, bit her lower lip and glanced away.

"I _what_?" The Master's eyes narrowed to tiny slits and he pulled the Doctor closer by her collar.

"Nnnn....othing. You... always treat everyone badly!" It was so obviously a distraction it was almost laughable. Even Roka could tell, but she kept silent, still unnoticed and curious about what this might be about.

"Don't play dumb!" the other Time Lord snarled. "We'll meet again in your past and _something_ happens!" He shook the Doctor, almost violently. "What is it? _What?_ "

Suddenly he flinched, squinted his eyes shut as if in pain. The Doctor reached up a hand and carefully touched the Master's temple. "I can't. I don't know if it would help or make it worse. I'm so sorry, Master."

" _You better be!_ " he shouted and flung the woman to the ground, where she landed with a loud thump.

He then stumbled backwards slightly, holding his head in both hands, shaking it, teeth clenched. With a muffled cry he sunk down, sat on the floor and bent over. Roka finally rushed into the room and crouched down in front of him, carefully lay her hands on his shoulders.

The Master glanced up, eyes slightly twitching. Roka wasn't sure if he even recognized her in that moment, and it took him a bunch of seconds to react at all. But when he did it was fast and sudden. He gripped both of her wrists and pulled her into his lap. The Master took her head in both hands, thumbs lightly pressing against her temples. She winced a little, unsure of what exactly was happening, but he left her no room to move, the tightness of his grip bordering on pain.

Years on trained instinct told her body to fight, to slap his hands away and to run, but instead Roka willed her body to calm down and just wait for what would happen. If anything at all. The Master made no more movement, didn't even initiate any sort of mental contact. None she would have been aware of, at least.

They simply sat there, letting time trickle by. Roka eventually dared to move and gently dropped her forehead against his. "I'm here," she muttered. "I'll stay for as long as you need me, yeah?"

To her surprise the Master nodded slightly, eyes still closed however. Roka sighed relieved. At least the drums hadn't overwhelmed him completely. But she wished so much that she could help, that she could just make them quiet again. It was painful to see him like this again, reminded her of the time they had first met, when he had been tormented by the rhythm constantly. It made her feel so useless.

 _You're not_ , came his soft voice, whispering in her mind, confirming that they were, indeed, connected somehow.

On the edge of her consciousness they heard the Doctor shuffle behind them, standing up. The Master raised his head to meet her eyes and Roka turned to do the same. The Time Lady only stood there, however, only this sad look in her eyes, as if she knew about something that would happen, that already _had_ happened - in her timeline. She held her arm, rubbed a spot of bruised skin. Then she turned and left the room.

 _What's this all about?_ Roka asked mentally, hoping he could hear her thoughts.

The Master put his forehead back against hers and sighed. _I don't know._ _She refuses to tell me_. His thumbs idly stroked along her cheeks, his breath ghosting her lips. _By all stars, what are you doing to me, little crow?_

 _I don't know._ She smiled. _But I hope it's something good._

He chuckled, barely audible and leaned closer to capture her lips in a soft, almost tentative kiss. _You're screwing me up._ He lightly sucked at her bottom lip. _I should be causing chaos, not snogging some human_. The words were accompanied by amusement and she felt him smile against her lips.

 _Then get us away from here, fast_ , she responded, not less amused. _Whatever the future holds in store, we can deal with it, right?_

The kiss tapered off. There came no answer, but the Master put one hand on Roka's chest, right over his name he had cut into her skin and bone, so long ago. She felt his warmth through the cloth, soothing her heart and mind. He looked into her eyes, his stare so intense it sent goose bumps down her spine.

 _Are you better now?_ Roka asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Can't tell you how glad I'll be when I don't have to see that face anymore," he sneered aloud, the same moment she heard the Doctor return into the room. "Speaking of..." The Master gestured Roka from his lap. "I need to get a few more things. Will be back in an hour or so."

"You sure you want to go now?"

"It's okay again," he assured with a soft smile.

She heaved herself to her feet, followed by the Master, who cast a glance at the table and all the things that lay there strewn around. He scrambled together a few parts at which he pointed. "Can you build some melcar conductors while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, sure," Roka confirmed and took his place, happy to be of help.

The Master left without another word, leaving the women behind to tinker about. For a while they sat there in silence, one that was heavy and filled with unspoken questions. There were so many things Roka would have loved to ask, simply because the Doctor came from their future. Surely they had met a few times from now on. Surely she...

Roka blinked, glaring at the finished conductor in her fingers. She lay it aside and started with the next one, finally deciding to ask, "You know who that boy was, right? The one that attacked me?"

It seemed as if the Doctor hadn't heard her, but some moments later she seemed to decide it was futile to ignore Roka. She lifted her head, a thoughtful look on her face and something in her ancient eyes that told of something she'd rather not think about.

"Stay away from him," the Doctor muttered. "I know you won't and I know you can't. And I know they won't let you. But... but..." Were there tears in her eyes? "It's not a fixed point. It can still change."

Roka sighed. "And I guess you can't simply tell me what would happen otherwise?"

No answer.

They kept tinkering. The Master stayed away for some time longer. Hours? Probably just minutes, but there were so many thoughts racing through Roka's mind, it was impossible to stop them, to silence the feeling of threat in her stomach. Something was so awfully wrong about all of this. Like a word that lay on her tongue, but wouldn't pop into her mind.

Wrong.

It was there. Right where she could grasp it. So obvious, yet not.

"It's my brother," she whispered. "That boy was Josh."

The Doctor jumped, almost unnoticeable, her hands stilled, even trembled a little. She put them into her lap to hide it.

"There is something you are not able to remember," the Doctor said and her voice almost broke from all the sadness in it. "Even if I tell you now... Oh Roka. They found the data in my TARDIS. They found out how it works. And they used it to enhance an entire species to... it doesn't matter."

"It is him, isn't it?" Roka had no idea what the other woman was rambling on about. All she wanted to know was if her suspicion was right.

"Yes. And also no. They changed him. They took him and... it's the same as with River." The Doctor shook her head. "Stop looking for him. He's lost. You will be, too."

Numbly Roka glared at the tiny parts in her hands. Someone was using her brother for a plan she didn't know. They had altered her past to get him and now he was forced to attack her, maybe lure her somewhere.

On the other hand it meant that he was alive! That thought alone let Roka's heart jump.

"I can't, Doctor," she uttered. "Whoever has taken Josh follows a bigger plan. And I don't think they will let him go without interference." She glanced over at the blond woman. "You say it's not a fixed point. So whatever you saw happening... doesn't mean it has to happen again, right?"

The Doctor shook her head, although her eyes were filled with sorrow.

"Then... is there something you _can_ tell me? Something that might help?"

It didn't matter how small the detail, how insignificant it seemed. Roka had learned enough about time travel to know that even the smallest of hints could change the course of events. And whatever was about to happen, she wasn't going to let her brother alone.

"Yes," came the soft answer. "Don't die."


	22. II - More complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that took a little while, didn't it? I'm sorry to say, but for a while I was a little out of plot for this segment of the story. But I now know how to tie everything together properly, so on we go! °v°9

Roka swallowed and looked the Doctor directly in the eyes. It still was so weird to see her as a woman after all this time. It had been roughly twenty years that Roka had spent in the TARDIS, living as a ghost in its shadows. She knew the leather jacket and the pin stripe suit, had watched several companions come and go. Roka had made him tea whenever something bad had happened, had sat there, listening until the glitch made her vanish from his memory again.

The Doctor was still the same. Just with a different look. Maybe a little moody this time around. How long might it have been for her? Between now and her bow-tie loving self? What had happened during that time? How often had they met? And what had she witnessed to plead Roka not to... die.

"I really hope you say that out of concern," Roka mumbled, "and not because that actually happened." There came no answer and it was impossible to tell what the Time Lady was thinking. "But then... if it did... and you're telling me this... it means it is not fixed and I can still change it, right?"

"Some things are fixed," the Doctor finally objected. "But not all the details."

Roka nodded. "It's good you're not telling the Master."

At that the Doctor cracked a small smile and both women laughed a little about it. They knew how badly the other Time Lord would react.

"So. On a lighter note, have you met him recently? I mean, in proper order?"

The Doctor shook her head, then nodded. "Well, yeah. Twice. Literally. But all went so fast and I... Well, I haven't seen he... him since the colony ship. But we both know him, ey? He'll make it."

"Yeah, out of pure stubbornness." Roka giggled, but also couldn't quite hide her concern.

Had he been alone? Did that mean they had separated? For good or temporary? Or had she truly... No. Roka refused to believe she would simply die. Not after everything she had been through. Speaking of stubbornness...

"I never thought I would say this." The Doctor's voice tore her out from the musings. "It's such an odd thing with the Master. He never cared much for anyone around him. But you... I don't even know if it is really love, or obsession already. But Roka... he really cares for you. I hope you know that."

She smiled warmly at the Time Lady. "Yeah. I know. So do I." It made her think about the drums again. The echo of his past that only returned because he had been too close to her the moment she had died. "Do you... know how to dispel an echo? Something that isn't there anymore, but still ripples through time here and then?"

"The drums," the Doctor whispered. "I know about it. But... That's something I can't interfere with. It's too big. And it's not for me to decide. Even telling you a little might change how you would decide. And that I can't do."

"But there is a way to make this stop, once and for all?" Roka asked hopefully.

"I can't tell. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Roka sighed. "We'll deal with it somehow."

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"Kzzzz.... zt... kzzztt... Hell-kzttt? I ca-zzzt- you!"

"River?" the Doctor called out.

"Oh fina-kzzzzzt! Get yo-zzzkt- bloody shi-zzzzt to land alread-kztzzzzt!"

"Okay, the connection isn't stable at all," the Master grumbled.

"Stop sulking. It's a start! Now, try again."

The Master activated their fragile construct once more, static crackled through the room, followed by a bunch of weird noises that seemed to have no origin.

"-zzzt- Master?" River's voice got through a little clearer this time. "Is that -kzk-ou?"

"Yep, in all my glory!" he answered with a smug grin. "Can you understand us?"

"Yeah, mos-zzzzt- of it. What -tzzzzk-appened? You two left and the TARD-zktzz- went o-zkzzzz- on her own!"

The Master furrowed his brows and let out a low growl, obviously displeased about the fact that River hadn't stolen his TARDIS after all. The - _I told you so-_ look from Roka didn't make it any better. She nudged him with a smile, but got interrupted by the Doctor before she could say anything.

"River listen," she enquired, "there is a hexagonally shaped button next to the ceilion fuser and below the haldaron lever. Not the one opposite to the galvan inductor! You know which one? Just land the TARDIS."

"Th-zzzzz- what?" came the surprised reply. "I ha-kzzzt- no idea how to fl-zzzk- a bloody TAR-kzzzzt-! And who ar-zzzzt- you any-zzzk-ay?"

They all looked at each other, questioningly. It was no surprise River didn't recognize the Doctor in her current form, but the last times they had met, the time traveller had been perfectly capable of piloting the time ship.

"Well..." the Master started slowly, staring at the humming device. "That complicates everything."

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"Do they get on?" Cassy asked curiously when Roka went down to grab a snack. "Guess Matt won't be doing his cooking magic anytime soon." A sigh followed.

The young woman was occupied by a book once again. Something from Carl Jung. Roka vaguely knew the name, but couldn't quite remember what he had been about. No, she did. Something about that everyone possessed a shadow within them and that one had to accept and integrate it into one's personality.

"Being good is a matter of knowing you possess the capability to be evil, but decide not to act on it," she mumbled.

Cassy looked up and quirked a brow, then looked down as Roka nodded towards the book.

"Can't say I know much about psychology," Roka admitted, "but that stuck with me somehow."

Maybe because it was impossible to forget when one lived a life as she did. Always on the border between good and evil, right and wrong. Knowing that none of those things truly existed and solely relied on context. But still...

"Oh!" Cassy made surprised and smiled. "Yeah, it's fascinating to think about it, isn't it? I mean... given the right circumstances every human being is capable of true evil."

Roka huffed and gave her an ironic smile. Every _human_... "Yeah."

There always was, of course, the question what actually could be considered as evil. She had seen cultures celebrating behaviours humans would downright despise and fear. And others... she tilted her head to the side, watching the corner of the room closely. That was weird. She could have sworn that shadow over there had just moved. Still did somehow, almost as if a figure would be standing there, not really visible, and also not really _in_ visible...

"Hey..." the other girl started hesitantly, tearing Roka's attention away from the weird phenomena. "It's not my place to ask, I know. But..."

"Go ahead." Roka smiled reassuringly, curiosity winning over.

"Well..." Cassy hemmed and hawed. "You've been through stuff, haven't you? I... I won't ask details! It's just... uh... sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay." Roka smiled warmly. She cast another glance at the corner, but the shadow was gone. How weird. How could it be gone? What even had cast it in the first place? She shook her head slightly and remembered the other girl, realizing she hadn't answered. "Mhm... guess I have to appear quite strangely to... normal people." She shrugged. "Yes, I've seen... stuff. You wouldn't believe half of it and... doesn't matter anyway. You want to know something specific?"

"How old are you?" Cassy blurted out as if she had held in that question since they had met. "Y... your eyes, you know... it's... it..." She shrugged and snapped her mouth shut, but then quietly added, "They are old."

Was it that obvious? Roka thought back to when she had first met the Doctor and later the Master. How she had thought the exact same thing, had seen in their eyes that they were so much older than their faces looked like.

"Mhm... I..." How should she even put it? "I have a... condition," Roka tried. It wasn't wrong after all. "Makes me... well... look a lot younger than I am."

If it shocked the other woman it wasn't noticeable, although it must be a little disturbing to believe she had invited a girl about her age, just to learn that it wasn't true at all.

"And Matt? Does he have the same... condition?" she asked carefully.

Roka tilted her head a little. "Not quite. He's just... different." In so many ways she couldn't even begin somewhere.

"You are aliens!" Cassy suddenly blurted out and snapped both hands in front of her mouth afterwards, her eyes glued to Roka as if she feared she would be disintegrated any second. After a moment of silence she hesitantly put down the hands. "I read so many theories and all about the few encounters we had on earth already. I... I won't tell anyone, promise."

There was no helping it. The grin was on Roka's lips before she could hide it. "You're too smart for your own good." She giggled. "Oh, geeze, don't tell the other two about that theory. They'll go craaazy." She just couldn't stop giggling.

"Y... you really are?" Cassy squeaked.

"I'm human. One hundred percent," Roka assured, deliberately leaving out any information about the Time Lords. "Don't worry. No one here intends to harm you. We told the truth. We're simply stuck."

Cassy nodded, her eyes darting towards the door, though. It seemed as if she contemplated fleeing, but her next words surprised Roka.

"Are there... ghosts?"

"Whus?" Roka blinked perplex. "That's quite the change in subject." Still, her eyes darted back to the corner, searching it for the weird shadow from before. Had she imagined it?

"Not really... if there are aliens... there might be ghosts, too, right?"

"I just told you I'm..."

Cassy cracked a smile, one that was warm and a little teasing. "I might not be half as old as you lot are, but I'm not stupid. Maybe _you_ are human... the other two... not a chance. So... how old?"

Roka sighed. Both, because she knew she wouldn't get out of this, and because the other girl jumped around topics like a bouncy ball.

"As you wish... Give or take a few rounds... something around two hundred earthen years." The whole time she spoke she didn't let Cassy out of her eyes, satisfied seeing her face drop at the number. "I don't age. And no, I'm not in the mood to tell you why. It's a long story, and complicated."

"Two... hundred... pheeeew." Cassy expelled a long breath and chuckled. "Damn. Can't even imagine what you've seen. When were you born, then?"

Right, she didn't know about time travel. Nothing to lose from telling. It wasn't as if anyone would believe some random student anyway. "Not too long ago, actually. End of the twentieth century." When Cassy gaped at her in disbelieve Roka couldn't help but grin even wider, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. "Time travel. Time _and_ space actually. Don't... tell them I told you."

"Wow," she breathed out and suddenly giggled. "Just wow! How is that even...? Well, it has to be possible in the future, then. And... oh my... I have to process that. Shiiiiiit! I can't even tell anyone! No one would believe it!"

"No. Better to keep quiet," Roka agreed smiling. She heard some shouting from upstairs and winced a little. When her gaze met Cassy's she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Guess cooking will be on us, today."

A door got slammed shut and angry steps blustered down the steps. The Master poked his head into the kitchen, his features softening a little when he spotted Roka.

"You two alright?" she asked. "I thought it was working."

"It does.. somehow," he grumbled and trudged over. "But that bloody hum... woman has no idea how to fly the TARDIS. At all! And we all have no idea why both ships refuse to land. Or why they fled in the first place. The Doctor is going to take a look at a lead for some days." He let out a relieved sigh. "Good stars am I glad not to have to see her face for a while."

Roka smirked a little and slid her arms around him. "You could teach River how to pilot, couldn't you?"

The Master quirked a brow, clearly not excited about the idea. "Mhm... yeah. At least the basics. Might help."

"Doesn't sound as if you made much progress," Cassy mumbled, a little concern in her voice. "We decided to cook today. Any wishes?"

He shrugged. "Don't need to eat. Just make what you want."

"Wow, you really have to be pissed to skip a meal," she teased him and only earned herself a pouty face.

Hesitantly Roka let go of him, although she wanted nothing more but to snuggle up on him for a while. Gosh, she had gotten way to cuddly these past days! But it was hard to resist after all she had been through, and also because he allowed it. The Master leaned next to them on the counter and watched as Cassy got out some spaghetti.

"We could make some of those," she suggested. "We've got fresh tomatoes, a few veggies... I think there's also minced meat in the fridge."

Roka simply nodded and took out a knife from a kitchen drawer.

"Maybe... you should take off those gloves, though," the other woman suggested, nodding to the thin layer of cloth that, as usual, covered Roka's hands. "Why are you wearing those all the time, anyway? Nail biter?" She grinned knowingly.

Roka glanced down at her fingers and slowly pulled off one glove. As soon as it was missing, her swirling particles became visible. Sheepishly smiling she held them out for Cassy to see, and it was a weird thing to do. Usually she hated the mere sight of her glitch's remnant. She still did, but Cassy's curiously excited look tapered down her unease.

"Ohhh, whoa! Is that... because of your... condition? What _is_ that even?"

"It's harmless nowadays," Roka told. "I... just don't like looking at it. Reminds me of bad times." She clenched her hands to fists.

From behind the Master took her hand and gently slid his fingertips over hers. When she leaned her head back, Roka saw the Master was watching Cassy intently. It also was her he spoke to next. "You know?"

"Kn... know what?" Cassy squeaked, suddenly and once again intimidated by him.

"She wouldn't show you, if it were different." The Master let go of Roka's fingers and wrapped both arms around her shoulders from behind. His double heartbeat thudded steadily against her back, soothing as ever. "Well... At least I don't have to pretend to be one of you little apes, anymore." He chuckled meanly.

Roka nudged her elbow backwards. "Come on, she was really nice to us. I know even _you_ have some manners."

"I still won't cook for you, today," he teased and hugged her even tighter for a second, his hands finding hers again as he then turned Roka to face him, eyes wandering over the floating particles once more. He pressed a kiss to them and smiled promisingly at her. "With all the data I have of you, I might get you stable again."

Roka's eyes widened. "You think so?"

"Well, the density of your matter doesn't affect you negatively. But if this," he stroked her fingers, "bothers you so much, I'm sure there's something I can do."

"I'd like that, yeah."

He nodded, smiling, then cast another glance at Cassy. "You trust that one?"

"I do. So be nice."

A nasty grin split his lips, one that could scare away the weak heartened. "I'm not ripping her head off because of you. Isn't that enough?"

Roka pursed her lips teasingly. "I'm pretty sure you'll have to continue all the tinkering on the streets if you scare her too much. So..." She poked his chest, grabbed his tie and pulled his still smiling face closer. "Don't make us be stuck here longer than necessary!"

"I won't tell anyone about you," Cassy tossed in, meekly.

"Well, no one would believe you had the former prime minister living with you, anyway." The Master giggled and tossed the astonished human a roguish grin.

Roka glanced over and saw Cassy's eyes widen more and more as she studied the Master's face, recognition now seeping in, mixed with a tinge of fear. It probably was a blessing that the Doctor came rushing down the stairs in that moment.

"Will be back in two days!" she called out as she stormed into the kitchen. "There are signals all over the place, if I can separate them I might be able to learn where the interference originates from and... oh, hello!" she greeted as she noted Cassy. "Err... technical babbling. Nothing important." She turned to the other two. "Master, you need to stabilize the connection to River. She can probably come close enough for us to use some anchor. Well... by bye!" She wriggled her fingers at everyone and rushed out of the house.

Only silence stayed behind.

"Yeah, well..." The Master sighed, eyes closing as he dropped his head at Roka's. "Let's try that teaching thing. Can only go wrong, can't it?"

She chuckled and cradled his face in her hands. "You'll manage. You always do."

He smiled back and leaned closer to kiss her, slow and intensely, making her knees week in an instant. And then, as suddenly as he had started, he already left hers, smiling this god forsaken smile that he probably knew perfectly well made her head useless.

"Should continue with the _important_ stuff," he teased and poked his tongue out slightly.

Roka slapped his arm and grinned back while he walked out. Seconds later she remembered Cassy and slowly turned her head in anticipation of shock of fear. But there was only a weird look in her almost sparkling eyes.

"Wh... what is it?" Roka asked perplex.

" _You two are so adorable!_ " Cassy blurted out and snapped both hands in front of her mouth, however, barely stifling the giggle. "Gosh, how can one be so lucky!"

Roka raised a brow, now also laughing a little. This woman's attitude was just too contagious. "Dunno about being lucky. Having some evil alien be your boyfriend might not be the safest thing to have."

Cassy giggled even more and tore Roka right with her into a small giggling fit. It was just too good to have someone to laugh with in such a silly manner. Something felt warm in her, happy. Without the glitch, she suddenly realized, she would be able to have lots of those friendships. Even though they wouldn't last forever.

"But hey, Roka... Did the Doctor really just call him Master? Or did I mishear that?"

"No, you didn't." She wiped a tear from her eye. "It's his name. Or.. what he calls himself. Same as the Doctor."

"Wow... they sure have fun with their names, haven't they?" She giggled again. "Mhm... so, what's he master of, then? Does he own a planet or so? A galaxy?"

"More than one, actually." Roka pondered about all of his stories. She knew that at least some of them were true.

"Cool! Oh my god! You have a royal boyfriend!" she squeaked.

"Pfff... I don't think you can call it that. But say, Cassy..." Roka smiled impishly and started to chop some vegetables. "As we are having this subject. What's with you and Anna?"

Immediately the smile fell from her face and her cheeks started to glow bright pink. "I... eh... N... nothing! Really!"

"Och, come one. You were basically glowing when she said she's into women, too."

"Noooooooo!" Cassy hid her face behind her hands and mumbled, "She would never want me."

There she was such an outgoing girl, but when it came to this she seemed to have as much trouble as many people. Roka poked her shoulder and gave her smile. Maybe it was time to put into good use what she had learned from Amy.

"Come, let's make dinner. And then work out some plan to get her to fall head over heels for you."

"Roka! Don't!"

"Make dinner?" she teased.

Cassy sighed and grabbed another knife, waving it at Roka. "Don't you dare telling her!"

"Promise!" Roka swore with a stern face. "Now come, I'm getting hungry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when River told she learned flying a TARDIS from the best, and that the Doctor hadn't been there? Well... from whom else could she have learned it, with no Time Lords left? 😏


	23. II - Ghost signals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can skip the third part of the chapter if you want. No plot to be found there ;D

"You've go-tzzzt- to be kidding me, Master!" River exclaimed over the connection. "That thing isn't e-eezzz-en working properly! Who tells me it won't ju-ktztz- blow up in my face?"

"I am telling it," the Master drawled and thudded his head back against the sofa rest. He had his small communication device on the TV table in front of him and was sitting cross legged, but not relaxed at all. "You'd be pretty useless right now, would you die."

"Oh, are you worried ab-zzzz-t my wellbeing, deary?" River quipped back sweetly. "I knew you secretly like me. Just don't tell Roka."

The Master tossed a short glance in her direction, only to find the woman in question giggling to herself at his misery. He groaned exasperated. "Cut it off, human! Just press the sodding button!"

All that was audible was a light chuckle, then a wheezing, a rumbling. Something zapped so loud as if an electric spark had went through the whole console room.

"Master?"

"What? If you don't tell me you landed, I don't want to hear it."

"I landed."

He shot up from the sofa, tossing a half emptied coffee mug to the ground. "What?! Where?!"

Roka scowled at the mug, but was also eager to hear if it had really worked.

"Deary? You won't li-zzk- that." The usually so teasing tone the blond one reserved for the Time Lord was now serious. "It's not earth."

"You sure?" Roka asked before the Master could start shouting again.

The other woman confirmed and told them a repeat of all steps she had executed, as well as the coordinates on the screen. Nothing was wrong according to the Master. He growled deeply in his throat, looking as if he wanted nothing more but to smash something. Again.

"Why doesn't the TARDIS land?" he whined, ruffling through his already tousled hair.

"Not be-zzzt-ause I screwed up."

"No, you're doing fine," he grumbled into his beard.

"Was th-aaaaztzzz- just a complim-zzt-ent?" Even through the static the amusement was clearly audible.

The Master groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"It's alright. I won't te-eeee-ll anyone." She chuckled, but it sounded somewhat tired.

"Since when are you in there, anyway?" Roka asked. "We're here since some weeks now."

"Oh? Okay, then w-heeee- have a goo-zzzzt-d difference. Been... maybe half a day for me." A small pause, some more static. A short laugh. "Does earth still stand?"

Roka let out a giggle, which she almost regretted when she caught the venomous look from the side. "Yep," she happily told, popping the 'p'.

"I'll burn it to the ground the moment we get out of here," the Master mumbled indistinctly into his hands. "Never want to see this shithole again. Not without everything being on fire."

"-kttttzzzzz-e Doctor will stop you a-aaaa-nyway," River chuckled. "Too bad, he-zzzzz- not here."

They looked at each other, wondering, not for the first time, why the Time Lady had asked them to stay silent about her. Maybe something had happened between the two, during the past years. Had they separated on bad terms? Was it simply a risk to let the young River know about the future Doctor? It was hard to tell without knowing all the details.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

The Doctor returned from time to time, never telling where exactly she had been, though. She only ever told about signals she was following, signals that seemed to have the capacity to disrupt a TARDIS' functionality, and they had to be alien. And quite powerful.

"But when I get closer it always disappears," she whined. "As if it's a ghost!"

"No weird occurrences around this area?" Roka pondered.

"Nope, nothing. Good thing the fam is at home."

Roka turned away from the TV and paused her game. "The fam," she repeated. The Doctor had used this term a few times already.

"Oh yeah! A few people I'm travelling with, right now. They are awesome! Bet you'd like Yaz. Graham is a little grumpy and Ryan... well, he's him."

"Full house, then. Good to see you're not alone." She smiled a little to herself. Even after all this time she still found herself caring for the Doctor. They had been friends for a long time, glitch or not. And Roka understood better than most how it felt to be a lonely wanderer through time and space. "Guess I shouldn't ask what happened to Amy and Rory. Last time I saw you, they were still with you."

Suddenly there was a dark shadow in the Doctor's eyes, giving Roka the suspicion that something bad had happened. Did she really want to know about it?

"Doctor..." It was hard to look into those sad eyes, making a mean lump form in her throat. No, she really didn't want to know. But she had to and whispered, "Please tell me Amy and Rory are still alive."

Relief washed over her as she saw the Doctor's eyes lighten up a little. The overall mood didn't change, but this detail alone was almost enough. "Yes! Yes, they are. I even assume they should be quite well. Can't tell much. You know, time and stuff..."

"It's alright." Roka let out a sigh of relief. "I'm just glad they ended up okay."

"As if that insufferable red head would come to harm," came a sarcastic voice from the door.

Both women turned to see the Master enter with a small white plastic bag. He placed it on the table and proceeded to take off his jacket. Roka sniffed in the air and opened the bag to find some take away in it. Enough for all three of them.

"Still into anchovy pizza, Doctor?" he asked with disgust as he flopped down on the sofa next to Roka. "Thought so. Take that nasty stuff and eat it far away from me."

For them he had brought a big box with small pizza buns with different fillings, something they had both found a tremendous liking for, recently. Roka snatched one out, blew at it and took a careful bite. Next to them the heap of electronics and wires started to crackle. River's voice resounded through the static.

"I th-iiiii-nk we might have a prob-zzzk-lem."

"Not now, ape," the Master growled and bit into another bun.

The Doctor took her pizza and moved to the desk, placing herself in the chair and being strangely silent again.

"I can't land on earth," River explained. "Does-sssss-n't matter where and when."

"What about ‘ _not now’_ didn't you get? Seriously..." the Master growled. He looked concerned about the news, though. If she would have been able to land anywhere on earth at all in the right time, they could have just travelled there. "You sure?"

"Yes. I've checked all parameters, calcu-uuuu-lated the temporal space influx around the planet and also let the TARDIS run some simulations on the atron fields surrounding your location."

The Master lowered his bun and raised a brow. He seemed honestly impressed at that speech, giving Roka an almost confused look. She only shrugged, having no clue what to respond. To her, though, it seemed as if the curly woman showed a level of intelligence that was quite beyond that of normal humans. A quick glance at the Doctor also gave no answer to this. It only sparked Roka's curiosity about that woman even further.

"Well..." The Master contemplated for a moment. "I'll think of something. Maybe infuse the simulation with a bunch of random generated testeran particles... Meanwhile I'm having dinner, so stop pestering me, human."

"Diner... good idea. I'm starving. Wher-kzzzzzt- kitchen?"

"Second corridor to the right, the first door," Roka told.

"Don't tell her where my kitchen is!" the Master whined. "Who knows what she'll do there!"

"I'll eat, you m-ooooo-ron!" River giggled and cut the connection.

The Doctor smiled to herself. A sad smile. One that told of loss and past memories. Roka couldn't hold it in any longer, she had to know.

"What happened? You don't want River to know who you are. And you look so sad."

Both Time Lords looked at her in surprise, the one in question opening her mouth, only to shut it immediately again.

"It's complicated," the Doctor muttered. "I think... last time I saw her... I saw her for the last time. Well, I thought so... Can't be sure. We seldom meet in the right order, but..." She slightly shook her head and cast a quick glance over at the Master. "Doesn't matter."

"It does," he snarled. "I want to know who is trapped in my TARDIS and what I can expect happening."

"She's a... friend. Definitely a friend, Master. No danger. Not now, anyway. Not to you."

He narrowed his eyes at the Time Lady and stuffed another pizza bun in his mouth. It was clear that he didn't believe a word, but what could he do, right now? They all were trapped. Roka huddled a little closer, both, to get comfortable and also to snatch more buns.

"My, you're a hungry one, today," he commented teasingly.

"Mhm... Dunno why."

"Pregnant?"

Roka almost choked on her bun and sat straight, giving the Master a dooming glare.

"You know that's not even possible!"

He cackled to himself and poked out his tongue. "But your reaction was priceless."

"Why should she be anyway?" the Doctor asked baffled with a full mouth. Roka and the Master shared a look and burst out into chuckle, only then did it seem to dawn on the Time Lady. "Oh," she made and flushed bright red all of a sudden.

The Master snorted. "You're such a prude, Doctor, still."

"Oi, I didn't know, okay!" she blurted out and somehow seemed to shrink a little. "Not quite the thing we would have had time to talk about... last times we met, I mean."

Roka giggled at that. But It made her wonder what was about to happen, even though she knew the Doctor wouldn't tell. Maybe a little?

"So," she started carefully, snatching another hot bun, "How often will we encounter you?"

"There were quite a few times, actually. Look forward to it." Now the Doctor beamed brightly. "It's gonna be fun! And dangerous... but fun dangerous... Anyway... haven't actually seen you two in quite a while. Last time was in my previous regeneration... well... not both... only... err... On the colony ship. Aaaanyway..." She shot a glance at the Master. "With this body... no, haven't met you. I mean, now I have, but not before."

"Oh so secretive again." The Master sighed dramatically. "I hope I'll get you into plenty of trouble, though."

The Doctor rolled her eyes and busied herself with the pizza, obviously unwilling to tell any more. It was good to know they would meet again, Roka thought to herself. She wondered if it would be the bow tie wearing Doctor or another one. She hoped it was, it would mean to also see Amy again.

While they ate in silence, Roka pinned her eyes to a particular spot on the wall opposite to them. None of the two seemed to notice, but that small patch of shadow over there wasn't cast by... well, anything. And it hadn't been there yesterday.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

Roka came back from a small shopping trip with Cassy and Ana. It was good to leave the house here and there, especially since she couldn't be of much help with teaching River or finding signals. It was, however, surprisingly enjoyable to hang out with the two girls. Roka even had some fun to push them both together a bit, whenever she saw an opportunity arise. It was cute how they behaved around each other without anyone of them ever admitting anything. Had she and the Master been that obvious too, Roka wondered. To Amy surely.

Amy... Roka found herself missing the feisty woman. It had been fun travelling with her and the bow-tie wearing Doctor. And the Master. She still was glad to finally have some alone time with him, even though that was cut quite short, now that he had a task and a goal.

On some days he was outright ignoring her, until he seemed to come back from somewhere deep inside his mind, only to realize he wasn't alone in the room. She then got a short greeting, a warm smile, but that was it. Not that she would be complaining, after all, she knew how occupied he could be, and she, too, wanted to get away from here as fast as possible.

But gods, did she miss him.

Still in thoughts Roka tossed her bag onto the sofa and started to unpack its content. She had found a few more plaid shirts for her ever growing collection, then a new videogame and finally a kit to assemble a tiny drone she could use to make some photos in hard to reach areas. Cassy was impressed by the pictures Roka took and wanted to take her to a few old ruins to shoot some more. And Roka actually looked forward to this, even though it was so... normal.

Only after a while did she realize that she was alone in the room, the Master nowhere to be found. Odd, since he rarely left the house. At least not while she was awake, and then only to gather new parts. Wherever he might get those. She didn't quite dare to ask.

In the end she slipped into some boxers and a T-shirt to get comfortable and decided a quick shower would do it. Somewhat still in thoughts she opened the bathroom door and stepped in, blinking confused at the light and the water filled bathtub - with a Master inside.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled, "thought you were out."

He looked up from the tablet he had been holding in front of him and smirked. "I was."

Roka placed her folded towel over the sink and flopped down on the edge of the bathtub. "Found anything useful?" she asked hopefully and couldn't help but cast a glance down, only to find the water surface to be covered in a thinning layer of white foam.

"No, just collected some bits and pieces." He sighed and put the tablet away. "It's really bothersome to gather certain things on your planet."

"Mhm..." Roka poked the foam and made it wobble slightly. Her fingers found water fast and she let the tips glide through it, watched by a pair of curious hazel eyes. "How's River doing?" she asked casually.

"Better than expected. For a human." The Master snickered. "Would have thought she'd need a lot longer to learn the basics."

"Good, good." Only then did she realize that her hand was dipping deeper into the water, near his knee, brushing away some of the foam to reveal a tiny spot of water underneath. Not that she had never seen him naked, but in the bathtub definitely was new. Way too cosy and time consuming for him, actually.

The thought instantly let some warmth pool between her legs, a pleasant tingling. The knee nearest to her dipped below the water completely, giving her more space to roam. And she did, aware of the eyes on her and the curious anticipation. Did his breath speed up a little? He probably smelled her slight arousal already, the shadow of a smirk gracing his features.

Her hand dipped a tiny little bit deeper, brushed something. She moved back, let her finger-tips glide over him once again. Now he definitely let out a small shuddering breath, his reaction encouraging her to repeat the motion, to dive a bit deeper to glide down his length, and up again, enjoying his hitching breath.

Roka smirked at him. "Now I wonder what you actually were looking at on your tablet."

When she reached down once more he suddenly grabbed her hand to stop her and sat up, pupils widened slightly. And before she could react properly, there was a grin and hands around her middle, pulling her into water, where she landed with a small splash a yelp. The Master grabbed her bum and pushed her into his lap and against him, made her inhale sharply, before he pressed his mouth on hers, one dripping hand snaking around her neck.

Roka smiled against his lips, the surprise now faded. She kissed him back passionately, happy about not wearing too much cloth that could be soaked. She squirmed a little in his lap to get her knees to either of his sides and herself a bit more comfortable. It brought her closer to him though, she could feel his erection through her soaked shorts and Roka rocked against it slightly, eliciting a groan from both of them. He grabbed her shirt and dragged it over her head, sending it with a splash to the bathroom floor. Cool air hit her wet skin, made her shiver as much as his hands that found her breasts, kneading them, twirling her nipples between his fingers before he broke away from the kiss to take in her dishevelled state.

"You're beautiful, little crow," he muttered, letting his eyes roam over her. His finger traced along a thin scar right below her left breast and to her hip. His other hand pressed her against him. "Can't get enough of you."

"Good." She grinned, slightly flushed. "Hadn't planned on leaving so soon."

Her fingers stroked his beard, his cheek. His eyes closed, breath heavy, mouth slightly opened. Roka loved how she could make him react like this, how he obviously trusted her. At least enough. She started to slowly rock against him again and moulded their lips together.

A loud crash from outside tore them apart with a confused look. Then the Doctor's voice shouted something they couldn't understand, followed by what sounded like a small explosion.

The Master let out a deep, frustrated growl and dropped his forehead against Roka's

"This bloody, idiotic piece of..."

She giggled and cradled his head in her palms. "Let's get out, before she destroys the house. We can continue this another time." Roka leaned to his ear and whispered, "I like you so wet and slippery, Master."

He tensed with a shuddering breath and she felt him twitch against her. So much to control. But her mischievous grin didn't last long. He suddenly moved and quickly threw her below him into the water, before he got out of the bath tub to dry himself. He bent over and smirked at her.

"Who's _wet_ here?"


	24. II - Scribbles and scratches

While the Time Lords were busy with the technical side of events, Roka had found a new fascination of sorts. For the past two days she had noticed them here and there, always uncertain if it was imagination or not. Sometimes there, sometimes gone, sometimes seemingly moving, so subtle that it was hard to distinguish from illusion.

Shadows.

Shadows in places where nothing was around to cast them. Without a specific form or pattern, unmoving, undisturbed when she touched them.

She wasn't even sure whether or not to tell anyone. It could be a trick of the lights in this house, it could be her bored mind making stuff up. Or, as Roka excitedly decided... it had to be ghosts!

Even after wandering the universe for one and a half centuries she had never found evidence for or against them, no matter how hard she had tried to find some. It was a fascinating topic to her, always had been. Scary and chilling, but exciting nonetheless.

Now she started to observe, to write everything down she saw, maybe to find a pattern behind it, or an explanation. Once she threw a paper pellet against one, another time she pressed her back against it, placed her hand over the dark spots. Later on they would have vanished, would appear in new places.

"What are _you_ staring at?"

Cassy's voice made Roka jump and glare startled at the other woman. "Eh... wha'? I... uh..." She quickly glanced back at the corner, her eyes widening and a grin spreading on her face. " _It's gone!_ " Roka squealed. "Ha! I knew it!"

"What's gone?" the sneering voice of the Master appeared as he entered the doorframe, probably to catch some snack. He blinked perplex at Roka, then smiled. "What got you so excited, little crow? Haven't seen you that happy in centuries. Literally."

Her face dropped a little to make place for confusion. He was right. She hadn't been like that since they had travelled together, so many years in the past. How long ago that was. For a second the memories threatened to crush her, streaming in uncontrolled until she suddenly felt enveloped in warm arms.

"Hey, I didn't want to make it sound bad," the Master whispered in her ear. "It makes me happy to see you so excited."

Roka let out a breath and snuggled into his shirt, the grin from before slowly returning, but for other reasons. "You can be such a softie." Her giggle was muffled by cloth.

The Master shoved her away instantly, poking her side to make her jump. "Careful," he growled, although his eyes glinted amused.

Grinning Roka bent out of the way. "Seems like the Doctor is rubbing off on you."

She tried to jump away before the Master could reach her, but he was too fast and trapped her between the sofa's backrest and himself. "Don't stress my benevolence, little crow."

There was an edge in his voice, a small hint of danger, but not enough to be really threatening. Roka poked out her tongue and in return the Master poked her sides again, making her jump and squeal sharply.

"You're ticklish?" he remarked surprised and did it again with the same result.

Roka tried to get free. "Took you long to notice."

There suddenly was a truly devilish grin on his lips and he left her no chance of escape. Roka tried to fight back between laughs and bending and trying to get some air into her lungs. Somehow she ended up on the sofa, laughing and gasping, the Master above her, still on his feet.

"St... stop it," she brought out laughing. "You're killing me."

"Mhm." The Master gave her a mock pout and retreated his fingers from her. "That would be a shame."

They both chuckled and Roka bent up to steal a kiss, before she stood, still holding her burning side. Her gaze met with Cassy's and the other girl, once more, wore a look as if to scream out loud how adorable she found them. Roka was absolutely certain she read romance novels, when her head wasn't buried in the studies.

However, her expression changed quickly to that of curiosity. "What did you see just now?" Cassy wanted to know, the eagerness in her voice hinting at something... more.

Roka slapped the Master's arm as he trod next to her, his finger again near her side. "Stop it!" He only poked out his tongue, but seemed curious enough himself to cease his torture. "The shadow," Roka explained and gestured to the spot of wall where it had been before. "I've seen them a lot lately."

"There is no shadow," the Master remarked dryly.

"Exactly!" Roka exclaimed. "But some moments ago there was! There is nothing at all in here that could have cast it."

"You're even more bored than I am." He chuckled and poked her side, then quickly stepped away with held up hands.

Roka wanted to slap his arm and start another ruffle, but Cassy interrupted.

"I've seen those too." Both turned simultaneously and the other woman seemed a little nervous. "They started a few months back and I always thought I was just... you know..." she shrugged, "imagining things."

"Oh wait!" Roka called out. "Is that why you recently asked if ghosts exist?"

Cassy nodded and smiled shyly, but also a little excited. The Master let out a groan.

"Alright. I'm going to do something useful, while you two spur each other on." He shook his head with a mocking smile. "Ghosts. Seriously, Roka, you should know better by now."

She only shrugged and poked out her tongue. "I haven't found any proof that they _don't_ exist. So let me have this and go play with the girls."

The Master gave her a look, one that was beyond explanation, but somewhere between amused and something else entirely. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her lower half flush against him, whilst a wicket grin split his face. "Don't forget that you're one yourself," he commented, letting his words ghost over her lips.

Roka's breath hitched and her heart rate spiked for a moment. She leaned forward and caught his lips, tugging at his tie. His grip got a little stronger, more demanding, but she quickly pushed him away, giggling. "Well, you always complain about me not looking very feminine."

"It's not complaining." He chuckled and took her chin between his fingers. "Just noticing. You humans always make such a fuss about your genders, it's fun to mess around with you."

Roka let out a laugh and got herself out of his grip. "I can very much feel like a woman without looking like the typical one. Now get lost. There's a ghost hunt I have to attempt."

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

They both observed the strange shadows now, Roka even stealing the Doctor's sonic once to let it take a look at the phenomena. But it yielded no useful readings and so she sneakily put it back into the coat pocket.

The whole afternoon passed like that, until Cassy suddenly realized she had neglected her studies. Groaning she frowned at the shadow on the wall. It had no definable shape and connected with the floor. They always looked natural, unsuspicious.

"Maybe we're really imagining things," the black haired woman remarked with a sigh. "I should go back to reading. The assignment is next week already."

Roka only hummed confirming, her eyes moving between the shadow and the screen of her laptop. She had been researching strange phenomena the whole time, without finding anything useful. There were, of course, the usual creepy pastas and urban legends, but nothing came close. Nothing was so... mundane.

The rest of the day dragged by. At one point Roka became hungry and snatched a snack from the kitchen, then moved back to the living room to find the shadow gone. In its stead there were two more, slightly to the right, on the same wall. She tried to find a source, but even stepping close and holding her hand above it, didn't do anything. The shadow just was on her hand, instead of the wall. There was nothing. No tingling, no sting, not the slightest weird feeling. But even when she cast another shadow over the spot, didn't it vanish and only became a little darker.

She pursed her lips and went back to the laptop. Cassy didn't mind that she was occupying the living room. The two women actually had gotten quite the good friends recently. Part of the reason might be that Roka had so many stories to tell and also agreed to help with all the psychology things.

"Say," Cassy now suddenly spoke up, "can you help me with something? I mean, if it's okay. It might feel bad to talk about it and all, but..."

"Huh?" Roka looked up from the screen and threw a quick glance at the shadows, before devoting her attention to the other woman. "Errr... ask away. I don't mind."

"Just... tell me if you feel bad or anything, okay?"

"Why would I?" she lifted an eyebrow.

Cassy hesitated a little. "Well... did you ever experience some kind of... mhm... PTSD? Post traumatic stress?"

"Uhh... I don't know." Roka shrugged. "I only know about from books and movies and-"

"No! No, no, no. Not that kind. They only ever ride around visual flashbacks in telly. They are important, yeah, but they can also occur in other ways. Like... no images, but maybe suddenly re-experiencing sounds, smells or just getting overwhelmed by the same emotions you had, when something traumatising happened."

By now she knew all about the glitch, Roka's life on earth before meeting the Doctor, some snippets about her years in the TARDIS, bits and pieces about the episode where she had been the Master's prisoner, and also a good bunch of stories from everything after that.

Roka thought about that for a moment and nodded. "Guess that happens here and there. It's not... bad, though. Not anymore."

"How does it... feel?"

"Phew..." She closed her eyes, trying to get herself into such a moment. "It's like... as if time freezes and just rewinds. There are memories, too many at once, but all with the same... topic of sorts. Like there's a knot in my chest and I can hardly breathe." She stopped there, feeling those emotions resurfacing. Not a thing she wanted right now.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell more," Cassy assured.

"I... I'm fine. Don't worry."

Cassy huffed, but her voice was soft and compassionate. "You're not. Don't pretend to be, all the time."

Roka scowled. "What good is it to show anything? It only hurts."

"Mhm... yeah. But people can't help if they don't know something's wrong with you."

"Worked for the last two centuries." She shrugged.

Cassy sighed, but smiled warmly. "And how did that feel?"

Roka blinked perplex at that question, unsure how to answer it. "I don't think it felt... at all," she tried. "It's just how it is. I... don't know anything else."

Those words seemed to sadden the other woman, making Roka wonder what it must be like to live such a normal life; growing up without constantly being deleted from people's memories...

A loud scratching noise tore her out of her thoughts and she glanced around to make out the direction of the source. Cassy seemed to have noticed too, confusion on her face. Both got up and wandered around for a bit until they came to a halt in front of the basement door. The black haired woman swallowed.

"How cliché, isn't it?" She smiled meekly. "Now I'm not so sure anymore if I want to know if ghosts are real."

Roka gave her a smirk and placed her hand on the door knob. "When have you been down there the last time?"

"There? Oof..." She thought for a moment, while the scratching continued to fade and reappear multiple times. Not very loud, but quite audible in the otherwise silence. "A month or so, maybe? There's just some old junk and preserving jars. Should we... get Matt or the Doctor?"

"Nah. They'd just tell us to stop believing in ghosts." Roka giggled. "Let's have a look. I read enough creepy pastas to deal with everything."

Cassy snorted, but her fear didn't seem to dim. Either way, they didn't plan on just doing nothing, so Roka turned the knob and tapped on the light switch. Against her expectation it worked, didn't even flicker.

"How disappointing." She giggled and started descending the narrow steps, one hand on the railing, the other trailing along the wall.

The scratching seemed to come from further down, a really weird pattern of shorter and longer sounds with lots of pauses in between. As if something was moving inch by inch. Roka remembered having heard it before, sometimes at night, sometimes when no one else was around. But a lot quieter and too indistinct to really make it out, so she hadn't paid any attention to it.

Cassy followed right behind, making sure not to let the distance between them grow too much. She acted brave, but Roka could sense she was all tensed up.

 _How weird_ , she though, _how can I be so unfazed by this? It should be scary and threatening._

But after all those years of travelling there was not much left to really spook her. Only a vague tingling in her stomach remained, more anticipation than fear.

They reached the bottom and rounded the corner into the only room down here. It wasn't anything special, just some space filled with old boxes and a few pieces of furniture. Roka quickly made out from where the noises came and let out an amazed whistle.

The back wall had turned into a completely black mass of... she hadn't even the slightest idea what. It almost looked as if mindless ink scribbles had come to life, thin, tentacle like shapes sprawling over the wall and each other, so black they absorbed all light around them, moving slow and crawlingly over the wall. The longest of the lines clawed into the stone bricks behind them, creating the eerie sound they were hearing.

"What the..." Cassy whispered in a slightly panicky voice. "Don't tell me that was down here the whole time."

"Probably. Might have taken a while to grow." It couldn't be much older than a month, however, or Cassy would surely have noticed it. Or maybe not, depending on what size it had before. "Look there."

On the walls next to the fine scribbles were small patches of shadows creeping around, melting into each other and into new forms, or vanishing entirely.

"I don't like this," Cassy whispered in a high pitched tone and grabbed Roka's arm. "Would have preferred a ghost, honestly. What _is_ that?"

"Good question, really..." Roka got out her smartphone and let the camera move over the strange substance. One of the first things she had done was to hack into the device to make it able to scan things. A little like her Vortex Manipulator, but, sadly, a lot more restrictive. In theory it should at least spit out the periodic elements of which the thing consisted, but... "Nothing." Perplex she checked the readings. The mass was clearly visible on the camera, but there was simply zero output. "No thermal image, no perceivable frequencies, It's as if that thing isn't even here. "

Cassy tugged at her arm to get her away from the stuff. "Let's get the others," she enquired. "Please."

"Okay, okay, just let me..."

"Please!" Cassy's scared voice echoed eerily through the entire room, bounced from wall to wall.

The scribbled black lines at the outer borders suddenly stood still for a moment, then quickly morphed into new shapes, grew. Strange, twisted things started to appear, drew themselves as if a hand was weaving them into images, almost like faces, but too long and with wide black eyes and gaping mouths.

"Oh, I think this might react to fear," Roka pondered, too fascinated by the phenomena to pay the other girl much attention.

"Roka, get away!" Cassy exclaimed and took some steps back.

The black scribbles instantly started to vibrate violently, some of them shot from the black centre and spread across the walls, growing in size and length so rapidly it was hard to follow. Not even a second passed and the whole room, including the ceiling was covered by the lines, the scratching getting louder and louder, almost deafening. Even Roka backed away now, carefully leading Cassy back to the stairs.

Her eyes never left the weird, entangled mass, followed the spreading, crawling tentacles as they crept over the ceiling and floor, way too fast for any human reaction. The whole room turned black, the light only of use to make out themselves, standing in the waving, thick shadows. It felt like nothing. No touch, no tingling, not the slightest sensation as Roka's hand brushed against one of the tentacles. She still twitched away, glared at her fingers.

Nothing.

The stuff was behind them now, completely engulfing the stairs and swallowing every cardboard box, every old picture frame, the old broken chair, the old fashioned cabinet.

All that remained was the scratching. As if thousands of pens were dragging over paper, frantically scribbling terrified faces into the stones. Once again Roka held up her phone, tried to get any sort of readings from it, but the device couldn't even pick up the horrible sounds they were hearing. Cassy whimpered, clawed to her arm.

"Shit," Roka mumbled towards her and dialled the Master's number. "Sorry. Didn't think it would come to that."

"Get us out, please," she sobbed and closed her eyes.

There was something else. Roka noticed it through the static of the phone on her ear. It was as if it came from inside the device. A small, frightened voice. She pressed the phone closer to her ear, trying to make out anything, trying to ignore how the black scribbles started to climb up their legs, clawing into the fabric of their clothes.

Static. Not even a ringing sound.

And still... there it was.

 _"Sorry"_ , it whispered through the speaker _. "I don't want to do that. I'm sorry_."

It clicked. A familiar voice tore through the darkness.

"What's up?" the Master asked. "Can't hear you clearly. Where the heck are you?"

Right then Cassy screamed and Roka turned around just in time to see how the lines rushed up her body, drew themselves all over her skin, burned into her flesh and bone, tore their way into her opened mouth and her fear spread eyes.

A loud burst echoed through the scratching. Everything was suddenly drowned in darkness as the last sparks of the dying lamp rained down. The Master shouted something through the phone Roka couldn't understand, drowned out by the sounds around.

It was so loud it hurt. The phone fell out of Roka's hands as she pressed them over her ears, teeth gritted. She sunk down to her haunches and pressed her eyes shut, a sudden pain erupting inside her head as if a lightning bolt had hit her.

And then... silence.

From one moment to the next the scratching was gone. No, not gone, only returned to what it had been before. Roka opened her eyes, blinked perplex into the pitch black room. Frantically her heart hammered against her ribcage, her breath coming rapidly. Where was the phone? There. She reached for it, picked it up and saw that the connection was cut.

"What the hell is happening?!" the Master's voice screamed from behind her as light flooded the room. "Are you okay? What was that weird noise?"

He came rushing down the stairs, followed by the Doctor. Roka rose to her feet, feeling shaken and dizzy, her eyes desperately searching for Cassy.

She was gone.


	25. II - A hint of something bigger

“Wh... where’s Cassy?” Roka exclaimed, frantically turning around herself. “Dam! She was right next to me!”

“Not here, not upstairs either,” the Doctor remarked, waving her screwdriver over the now shrunken mass of black scribbles on the back wall. It had calmed down a lot, even the scratching noises had vanished.

“Are you alright?” was the only thing the Master wanted to know, already observing Roka from head to toe. Then he scolded, “You bloody idiot! Who knows what could have happened! Why didn’t you call me earlier?”

Roka winced slightly, evading his penetrating glare. “To be fair, you always say ghosts aren’t real,” she tried meekly. “Thought you’d just laugh.”

He growled in return, probably because Roka’s words weren’t so far from the truth. Instead of saying more, he only ruffled through her hair and finally trod next to the Doctor, who had her whole face scrunched up at the readings on her Sonic.

“Well, it’s certainly no ghost.” The Master's eyes darted towards the black wall, then back at the Time Lady.

“It might be just that,” she answered, although sounding as if she were talking more to herself. “I don’t get any readings. At all. It’s as if...” She waved a hand over the mass, “it just doesn’t exist.”

“Bollocks!” the Master called out, ripping the Sonic from her hand to repeat the procedure. He also grabbed an old metal rod to poke the wall. The scribbles didn’t react, didn’t lash out, nor did they spread. All while Roka, briefly, told what exactly had just happened.

“Makes no sense,” the Master grumbled, glaring hatefully at the Sonic and ignoring the Doctor, who wanted to get it back. “No readings. How can that stuff yield no readings?!”

“Has it... gotten Cassy?” Roka wanted to know. “She can’t be anywhere else. It was just so dark and...” She let out a deep breath, a guilty consciousness gnawing on her. “Dammit. That’s all my fault. She was so afraid and I... just wouldn’t listen.”

“We’ll get her back, don’t worry!” the Doctor called out, straightening her back. “There aren’t that many creatures, who could do something like this, we’ll just have to-”

“ _We_... won’t do anything,” the Master growled, towering menacingly over the blond woman. “That human isn’t of my concern. And that parasite,” his finger shot towards the wall, “isn’t either. _I_ only want to get away from here.”

With that he hurled around and strode towards the stairs. “I stabilized the connection to River, by the way,” he casually told Roka, trying to drag her with him by grabbing her sleeve.

A little perplexed about his behaviour it took her a second to react. Roka carefully tore her arm away and stopped, suddenly realizing he was serious.

“H... hey,” she let out. “I’m not going to just leave. Cassy needs help.”

The Master blinked at her, then scrunched up his nose. “No, she doesn’t. If my device works as intended, we won’t stay here for long anyway.”

“That’s not the point!”

“I’m definitely not going to leave this unsolved,” the Doctor tossed in.

The Master rolled his eyes at her. “C’mon, how many weird alien parasites are there on this rock? More than you can count. More than you can get rid of. If I start wasting my time with this, we’ll be stuck here forever. Besides,” a wicked smirk plastered itself on his face, “I really don’t care about any one of those apes.”

Roka scowled at him, pursing her lips slightly. “I’m one of those, remember?”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” he mocked, putting a finger under her chin. “And you’re not like them. You’re so much better, little crow.”

She knew it was a compliment, but still, she became angry and slapped his hand away. ”I’m certainly not _better_. And Cassy’s a friend. There’s no-”

“You would never meet her again after we leave,” he interrupted, “Don’t pretend otherwise. And even if... she’d grow old and boring. You’re nothing like that. So stop wasting your time.”

“Uh... guys...” the Doctor’s voice cut through the argument.

Both ignored her. Roka stabbed a finger at the Master’s chest. “Are you telling me, you’re not even a little concerned? And that after she helped us, let us stay and has endured everything we’re doing?”

“Guuuys, could you...”

“That’s _exactly_ what I’m telling.” The sweet smile on his face let the wish blossom in Roka to smack it away. ”Now, don’t tell me that’s really surprising.”

Something caught Roka’s eye. A weird movement, the slithering of a scribble-like, black mass. She yelped in surprise and jumped a step towards the Master, who practically caught her in his arms. Both now glared at the mass of blackness that, once more, had come to life and was spreading over walls and floor. The Doctor stood in it, scribbles crawling up her legs, but never higher than her knees.

“Oh, how weird!” she let out. “I don’t feel the slightest thing. Just nothing. As if I’m only imagining this stuff.” Her Sonic loudly waved around, illuminating the substance. “It’s not even reacting to anything I do. Only started when you two were arguing.”

Roka’s gaze shot down to find the scribbles had started climbing up her own legs, not touching the Master, however. He seemed to notice as well and swiftly grabbed her around the torso to carry her upstairs. It only needed a few steps and she struggled free to climb them herself. The Doctor followed in a hurry and they all slammed the door shut behind them, panting in relieve when the scribbles reached out from the bottom slit, but obviously couldn’t get out entirely.

After a few moments the stuff calmed down and vanished into the depths of the basement.

"What the..." Roka brought out. "Is that stuff reacting to emotions?"

"Might be, yeah," the Doctor contemplated.

"It started to move when Cassy panicked. Would make sense." Roka sighed deeply and rushed a hand over her face.

"Still not going to waste my time with this," the Master sneered and pushed himself away from the door, thumbing at it. "Let's just keep that here locked. Doesn't seem like it can get out."

Roka grunted annoyed. "Yeah, then piss of. We'll manage alone."

He did, snickering to himself as if the whole situation was the funniest thing. It made her even angrier, frustrated and really sparked the wish to go after him to punch his face. But Roka also knew it wouldn't change a thing. That he was nice to _her_ didn't mean he would ever treat any human being – or anyone else – in the same way. She knew it. And still, in this very moment it made her mad.

_oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo_

Whatever the Master had put together didn't work... again. The Doctor, meanwhile, tried to find out anything about the creature in the basement, and Roka... felt so utterly useless that she couldn't stand being in the house any longer.

She wandered around London on her own, worrying her bottom lip. It had been her fault, there was no denying it. There also was no help to gain by blaming herself all day. She also was still angry at the Master. Whenever she wanted to return, his behaviour from before came back to her mind and she decided to stay out for a little longer.

So did it come that it already drew near midnight when she actually got up from a broken brick wall near the river. The place was a little outside of town and she could watch the stars from here. Stars that she missed so dearly that it was hard to bear. Even in all her time alone had she never been so stuck anywhere. Sure, she could travel earth for a bit, visit other countries, experience different cultures. There are many exciting things to see and learn on one planet alone. But it just wasn't the same.

Roka cast a last glance upwards and hopped from the wall, landing softly on her feet. A quick glance at her phone told her that no one had called or messaged. Knowing the Time Lord, he probably wasn't even aware of the current time – how ironic.

When she lowered the phone to put it back into the pocket, her gaze fell upon the small figure of a child. He stood only one street away, a too big fisher head covering his face, but Roka knew. Her heart ached when she realized that she had no idea what to do with him. Josh was clearly controlled by some foreign forces, such that he could not fight against. And it seemed as if they had trained him to kill her.

Rage bubbled up, together with tears of frustration. Why him? What had the boy to do with her? What had she herself to do with anything? And if anyone wanted to get rid of her, why not do so?

The more urgent question, however, was, what she would do now. It pained Roka to even contemplate simply leaving and ignoring Josh, but would she come closer, would he attack again? She probably had no choice anyway. Him being here meant that whoever was in control, had sent him.

Good thing she had had her knifes on her when they had gotten stranded. Another thought that made her angry, but no one would be helped if the mystery murderer succeeded. Putting her hands on the butts she strode over.

They boy spotted her quickly and straightened, then suddenly his shoulders slumped forward and he looked behind him, left and right. Roka followed his gaze, but couldn't see anyone, so she strode closer until Josh took a step back, another one, and a third, before he turned and was obviously about to run.

"Wait!" Roka called out. "I know it's you, Josh."

The boy froze, stiffened. Slowly he turned around, his hands reached up to plug the hat down. His sight made the meanest lump form in Roka's throat. The tousled brown hair he had from their father, his eyes that could never quite decide whether to be green or brown. He looked exactly as she remembered and her heart clenched.

"I want to help," she uttered pleadingly. "You... you said my name last time. You know me, right?"

Roka still had no idea if, now that the glitch was gone, people from her past could actually recall her existence. And until now she had been way too afraid to find it out.

Josh nodded and glanced around once again with fear filled eyes. "Get me away," his wavering voice pleaded. "I could escape, but... but... they are smart, Gin. They are really smart. And evil. Eviller than all the dragons and thieves from your stories."

Her heart leapt to her throat. He remembered. He knew of the stories she had read to him, when she thought he couldn't see her, like everyone else. Was this a trick? Had he really escaped? The boy had always been bright, but still...

Her fingers slid from the knifes and she held a hand out to him. "Come, let's get from the street first." Fear and hope mixed in his eyes as he grabbed her hand and followed. "I hope they found out what's in the basement, but even if not, it's probably safest to bring you to our place."

It all felt surreal. The dark streets, almost empty in the evening hours, the calm atmosphere, not even hinting at all the strange things that happened recently, the fact that she held her little brother and was bringing him to a place that had not only a monster in its basement, but also was inhabited by two aliens, both not the epitome of sane.

But there would be time to process all of it, later.

"Mom said I'm only imagining you," Josh broke the silence with his quiet voice.

Roka almost winced at those words. "So they really can't remember me," she mumbled, feeling weirdly strange at the thought. Why should it bother her? She had left her family such a long time ago...

"I think, Dad sometimes could."

"I bet." That made her smile and her heart warmed a little at all the fond memories she had of him. "I'm so glad he is still alive in this timeline." Otherwise the boy wouldn't even have known him well. He had only been two years old when their father had died in the timeline Roka remembered.

Both were silent for another while, only walking the streets, crossing a slightly livelier part of the city. Roka got them some hamburgers from a street imbiss and she smiled when Josh's eyes widened in joy.

"They never let me have burgers!" he exclaimed and groaned in delight.

Roka giggled and munched on her own. "Can you tell me, who they are? You don't have to, if it's not possible."

"I... can I just eat for now? Please?"

"Okay. We have time enough."

She smiled again at his happy face. Now that she had gotten a hold of her brother, they could find out what had happened at any pace that was suitable for him. She wouldn't press him for information, didn't want him to relive too suddenly what he obviously had been through.

But one thing she had to know.

"What do you remember? I mean... about me?"

Josh glanced up at her and took a happy sip from his cola. "Not so much, honestly. You were there and then you weren't. I think, most of the time I didn't remember. But sometimes I did. When I looked through the books you read to me, and sometimes when I had bad dreams. Then I remembered I have a big sis."

"So the Master isn't the only one..." she mumbled to herself, wondering how she might be connected to Josh in such a way that it allowed him to see through the glitch, even if only occasionally.

"Who's that?" Josh wanted to know, grabbing Roka's fries. She let him.

"A... friend." She chuckled. "He made me real, you know. Because of him everyone can remember me now."

"Hmm..." The boy shot her a mischievous eyebrow-wriggle. "He's your boyfriend?"

"Whaaaa'!?" Roka laughed out loud. "You're way too young to ask that!"

"Pffffff! I'm nine and a half already! And I can..." Suddenly he looked a little frightened and he took some deep breaths.

"Yeah, he is. If you have to know." Roka stretched out her tongue to make him laugh a little, and it seemed to work.

Nine and a half... that meant he had been held captive for over a year. It was hard not to let him see her anger. Oh, she would make sure they would pay for this, one way or the other. She wasn't like the Doctor, never considered herself as much of a 'good' person. And this definitely was hell of a reason enough not to be.

They both finished the meal, while Roka kept her eyes on their surroundings. Evenings here were always busy, street lights and advertisements blinking about, people rushing from place to place. Nothing strange or conspicuous was around, though. Maybe they really were safe. She would have to ask the boy later how he had escaped.

Suddenly she had to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Josh wanted to know, his eyes widening curiously.

"Oh, I just thought about how the Master will react to you. I'm not sure he can deal with children well." The mere thought let her almost forget how pissed she still was at him.

"Is he nice? And why does he have such a strange name?"

Hand in hand they continued their way, while Roka made sure she kept more or less within the crowds. It was less probable to get attacked when so many people were watching. That, at least, was her theory.

"Errr... No, he isn't. I mean... he _can_ be nice, if he wants to." She sighed, once more thinking about the scene in the basement. "As for his name... It's not his real one, but he likes it, so... whatever."

"Okay."

Josh tightened his small fingers around hers a little and when she looked down, Roka found a small smile on his face.

"It's not far anymore," she told. "Ten minute walk, roughly."

The boy only hummed confirming and followed silently for a while, before he abruptly stood still. Perplex Roka glanced down to him and let go of his hand. A quick glance around told her, they were still alone. Wait no! There was a figure standing nearby, tall and with way too long limbs, the long face pale and creepy to look at. And the creature wore a suit of all things.

"What the heck is that thing?" she mumbled and turned to Josh to ask him if he knew about... What had she wanted to ask him again?

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"Eh... I... don't know. Weird."

She slightly shook her head and wanted to move, but Josh grabbed her opened jacket and tapped against one of the knifes.

"Whoa! Those are cool!" he exclaimed. "Are those from a comic? They look strange."

"Heh, no," she chuckled. "They are alien."

His eyes widened at that. "You've been to space, too? I've been there. I saw the stars! Real stars, not only dots! There was this huuuuge blue sun, you know?" He stretched his arms to emphasize his words. "I always thought suns are all yellow, like ours."

"Space is full of strange and wonderful things," Roka told with a tinge of melancholy in her voice. She squatted down in front of the boy and smiled at him. "I'll show it to you. We probably won't stay here for much longer. And the Master has a ship that travels through time and space."

A wide grin spread on the boy's face at that, but then his expression dropped. "They could do that, too," he whispered. "They travel around and change things. They make it so that people are alive that should be dead. That's good, I think. But... but... they also do bad things." His eyes became fearful.

"It's okay. You're with me now," she reassured him and hugged the boy tight to her chest. "I couldn't be a good sister, then, but I will be now, yeah?"

He clutched her and whimpered, sobs shaking his small form. "They made me do bad things," he mumbled into her jacket. "I'm so sorry, Gin."

"It's okay," she repeated.

"It's not. I can't... Please, I don't want to do bad things anymore!"

"Hey, hey, it's alright, you hear me? We'll figure it all out and..."

"No," he breathed out, shaking from another sob. "They don't let me. They know I'm here, Gin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Through all the confusion and slight anger Roka noticed it way too late. Only when the boy stepped back and glared at her with his tears smeared, scrunched up face, did she start to feel the pain. Whoever had trained him, had done a good job. Her own knife stuck in her side, delicately placed where she wouldn't feel it immediately.

Her hand came away bloody when she touched the spot.

_Don't panic_ , she told herself. _Keep calm_.

Behind the boy stood a figure, all of a sudden, tall and clad in a black suit, with too long limbs and a pale face. It rose an elongated finger to where humans would have a mouth.

"Silence will fall," it spoke in a voice that made her shiver. "Neither of them will speak the name."

"Who... are you?" Roka choked out. "What have I to do with all of this? What are you doing to my brother?"

"There are two, who know. One we must kill and one who refuses to die." The creature seemed to speak without a mouth, but if telepathically or not Roka didn't know. "There are other ways to prevent him from speaking. Your death is a key. And this boy is the only one you would have let come close enough."

"Bastards," Roka ground out and pressed her hand over the wound. "Shit... you will so regret this, I swear."

"Come, boy."

"I don't want to!" he whined, but couldn't move, as it seemed. "Please don't let her die. _Please!_ "

Roka's sight blurred slightly. Had the knife hit some organ? It didn't bleed much, barely hurt. She looked at the knife, sharp and expertly crafted. Good weapons. Maybe... maybe too sharp. Her head felt dizzy, started to spin.

Josh was gone.

Why was he gone so suddenly? Why were the streets so empty? Roka took a shaking breath, recalling all she had learned about keeping her body and mind calm in an emergency situation. Not yet... she was not dead. With shaking hands she reached into her pockets and fished out the smartphone. It was hard to navigate with one hand, the other too slippery from her own blood.

She dialled the Master's phone, waited, second for second for second, already knowing he wasn't hearing it. Maybe ignoring it even. It was no use. Roka gave up and instead typed a few words.

**> > I'm outside, down the road. Was attacked. Bleeding.**

Somehow she managed to send the message, before the phone dropped out of her hands. She bent over from the dizziness, tried to breath, rolled herself together to a ball, cursing in her mind.

She should have seen it coming, she really should have. Finding Josh like that, it had been too good to be true.

Would the Master read the message? Would he be in time? Roka shivered and reached out with her mind. The connection might be broken, but _something_ was still there, even though the Master refused to tell her about it. Maybe it was enough. She hoped, begged for it, as her thoughts searched for him.

A light in the ever growing darkness. A tiny spec of warmth in this vast and cold universe. This lonely place she had wandered for too long. There... or was it imagination? It felt like him, enough to cling to it with all the remaining focus she could muster.

_'I got you. Hold on.'_


End file.
